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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to really want my babies to be born soon?

33 replies

curiositykilled · 24/08/2009 09:15

30 weeks with twins. I'm not massive, my bump is big but neat, I'm carrying them well. I'm just sick of living such a sedentary lifestyle! I don't really want them to come early, I'm just hoping they'll kindly oblige sometime after 34 weeks when I'll be able to get the birth I want. Apparently I should try to be on bed rest from 34 weeks to try and get them past the 36 week mark. I am not looking forward to that. I want to take my little boy to his first year at school and spend some time with my little girl before my time is completely taken over...

OP posts:
StrikeUpTheBand · 24/08/2009 09:36

Well, as someone who hasn't ever got past 31+3 (and really wants to this time) I think YABU. I can understand that you want to take your DS to his first day at school etc, but your twins' health isn't something to take for granted. At my hospital babies born before 35 weeks mostly have to have go to the neonatal ward. Apart from the health considerations, having to visit them in hospital every day etc will have far more of an impact on you spending time with your other dc than bed rest.

Sullwah · 24/08/2009 09:41

No you are NOT being unreasonable.

I know extacly how you feel (but without older children which much make it much harder).

I hated being pg with twins. I lost 1.5 stone as I was too huge to get up off the sofa or out of bed to get something to eat!

I think as long as you get past 32 weeks they will be fine. Have you had the steriod injections? - often recommended for twin pg - it speeds up development of the lungs so that if born early less need for special care.

I got to 34 weeks.One night I went to bed and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and said to DH "I can't take anymore of this" . The next morning my waters broke.

And bingo - I could get up and walk around and even with a c-section I was able to be more active than for the months before the birth. Being sedatory is hell. But its only for a short time.

Congratulations ... twins are so much fun

Sullwah · 24/08/2009 09:42

Oh - and after 34 weeks the boys needed no intervention at all.

l39 · 24/08/2009 09:49

I know how you feel.
In the long run as long as they are healthy all will be fine. Even so I found a big difference between 5lb babies (my twins born at 37 and a half weeks) and 8lb ones (my singletons). I didn't really relax until my twins had reached what I felt was 'normal baby size' even though they didn't need any special care. They're 8 now.

Have you had signs of premature labour? No one ever recommended bed rest with my twins.

LongtimeinBrussels · 24/08/2009 09:52

As someone who had to have complete bed rest from 6, 5 and 6 months onwards and take medication that gave me the shakes and heart palpitations in order to stop early contractions, I would say YABU to want births even as early as 34 weeks. My 2nd DS was born at 35 weeks in the end (and weighed, for five weeks early, a healthy 2.7kg) but still ended up in the neonatal ward for two weeks (breathing issues). I would therefore agree with whoever has advised you to be on bed rest from 34 to 36 weeks. If you do deliver at 34 weeks, chances are you'll be in and out of hospital visiting/feeding them so will have little time for your ds and dd.

Congratulations on your twins though by the way .

Original poster
curiositykilled · 24/08/2009 09:53

strikeuptheband - sorry for your struggles with your pregnancies. Hope I've not upset you Things are slightly different with timings with twins though. Consultant has stipulated 34 weeks as the time they should be OK, based on them being quite big and head down since 26 weeks. She has stipulated I'll be allowed my MLU delivery if I spontaneously labour from 34 weeks on. I won't get to do either of those things as I'll either be on bedrest or in labour or hospital. I just meant being so immobile is very frustrating.

sullwah - haven't had steroid injections. I think I'll be one of the weirdos that goes close to term - what a sentence! I feel like one of those massive seals that are pictured exhaling loudly on beaches.

OP posts:
Morloth · 24/08/2009 09:55

I can understand how you feel, never been pregnant with twins but I remember the last bit of my pregnancy where I just WANTED HIM OUT.

My best friend is 28 weeks with twins and at 5'2" she is virtually spherical.

Good luck!

LongtimeinBrussels · 24/08/2009 09:59

Sullwah, I saw two sets of twins born around the 32 week mark and they were NOT fine! They were in the neonatal ward for weeks!! I'm really glad that your boys didn't need intervention after 34 weeks but that certainly isn't the case for all babies.

You're right, being sedentary is hell. I was on bed rest for 11 weeks each time (would have been even more for ds2 had he not insisted on coming 5 weeks early). But although it was hell for me, it was better for my dcs. The longer you last, the less likely it'll be that there will be any problems with the babies.

Morloth · 24/08/2009 10:12

I am sure curiosity doesn't actually want her babies to be born early/with problems, she is just venting cause it is a PITA!

Original poster
curiositykilled · 24/08/2009 10:14

yes, morloth. That's what I said in the OP.

OP posts:
Morloth · 24/08/2009 10:15

I know, some people just seemed to be missing that.

Original poster
curiositykilled · 24/08/2009 10:18

Consultant says 36 weeks = full term. They are expecting based on scans that they'll have reached a good weight and be OK by 34 weeks hence allowing the MLU delivery. This is a specialist in a twin clinic with no reason to sign off a more risky MLU delivery other than predicting that the babies will not need special care from this time on.

It's all got a bit serious. I'm just sick of being sat down all day, unable to breathe. I'm also really thinking it is unreasonable to still have morning sickness at 30 weeks...

OP posts:
you · 24/08/2009 10:20

You really do have my sympathies, pregnancy is crap, especially in the later stages and (I would bet) especially with multiples. And I can remember only too well the desperation of wanting DD out of me. The curries, nipple tweaking, raspberry leaf tea, streching, long walks, even sex!

However, I'm a neonatal nurse and can vouch for the fact that not all babies born at 34 weeks are fine. Yes, most are, especially if they're a good weight, but the closer you can get to term the better, honestly. I know it doesn't really help, but remember this is a teeny tiny proportion of your life and the babies lives that you're talking about. A few more months and it'll be over and you'll be getting even less rest than now!

Good luck

pjmama · 24/08/2009 10:20

I got to 36 weeks with mine and it was bloody agony towards the end!! I would have rather put up with the discomfort though than have had them any earlier. I was lucky that they were both a good weight, took straight to breastfeeding and didn't need the SCBU.

I know how you feel though!

Original poster
curiositykilled · 24/08/2009 10:21

Can understand it. Twin pregnancy is not the same as singleton.

Not planning on demanding sections or inductions, just sneakily hoping they won't choose to wait until 40+ weeks like my singletons...

OP posts:
Morloth · 24/08/2009 10:22

I think you should hire a full time nanny and go book yourself into an expensive spa for the remainder - somewhere that specialises in pregnancy safe massages. Where people will bring you delicious nutritious food, rub your feet and provide a whipping boy so that you can get it all out.

Possibly somewhere sunny, with a nice pool, but not too hot.

Original poster
curiositykilled · 24/08/2009 10:24

morloth - oh yes, very good! Lol...

OP posts:
MaDuggar · 24/08/2009 10:27

My DS was born at 35 weeks and needed SCBU care. I wouldnt wish that on any baby so i think YABU.

LongtimeinBrussels · 24/08/2009 10:31

Morloth, by some people I guess you mean me. I did indeed read the OP. However curiosity has chosen to post in the AIBU section under the title "AIBU to really want my babies to be born soon" and my answer to that still remains YABU. Of course I realise she doesn't want her babies to be born early with problems but I just wanted to give the other side of the argument that Sullah gave, ie that she thinks that after 32 weeks they'll be fine.

I do sympathise with the being sat down all day and the morning sickness must be a complete PITA.

Good luck curiosity with whatever happens.

giraffesCantReadShiteTabloids · 24/08/2009 10:39

YABU Would happily lye down for a full 9 months if it meant having a healthy baby born at term. The other outcome is hell I can assure you.

Original poster
curiositykilled · 24/08/2009 10:49

thanx longtime

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 24/08/2009 10:52

Good luck, and sympathy, but my DS was born at 35 weeks, a very good weight (6lb 5oz), and had to have a week in SCBU as he had breathing issues, jaundice, and blood sugar issues

EzrasMummy · 24/08/2009 10:56

I agree with Giraffes. I had a baby born at 25 weeks almost 9 years ago. My next one born 2 years ago came on time (almost miscarried at 3 months then had cervical cerclage). I also went into premature labour at 6 months but they managed to stop it.

I am 5ft tall and usually 7 and a half stone. I wasnt comfortable at all but was so grateful my baby was still inside me.

I am a twin and my mother is 5ft 2 and we lasted the full 9 months, and were about 6 pounds each, born naturally. Of course it was not easy for Mum but the most important thing is healthy babies.

I can sort of see where you're coming from but lets Just hope you can hang on a bit longer.

throckenholt · 24/08/2009 10:57

mine were born at 35 weeks - they were ok - but it would have been better if they had hung in there a bit longer.

I was heartily sick of being pregnant - but you just have to cope because you don't have a choice.

I would have said bedrest is extreme - unless you have some other underlying condition or something like spd - you should be able to get about - just pace yourself. Keeping as fit as you can will make the labour and recovery quicker.

StrikeUpTheBand · 24/08/2009 10:58

Morloth, as LTIB says above, the YABU is in response to curiosity wanting her babies out early. I know twin pregnancies typically don't go as far as singletons, but at 31+3 my ds was born (after steroids) and although I was very lucky that he had no other problems (apart from being prem), he still had to spend 5 weeks in the neonatal. I was apart from him for the majority of his first weeks, and it was not fun .