to ask my Ex for a lift?

[hatesponge]

Have posted lots before about my Ex, who is an arse of the highest order (this is why he's my Ex, of course!)

Am going away with our DC for a few days at the end of this month. I don't drive so normally travel everywhere by public transport. Which generally is not a problem. However, on working out our journey, have realised that as there is no direct route, it will take in the region of 4 hours to get there by train .

The same journey by car would be about 1.5 hours, maybe even slightly less if no traffic.

I have enquired about a taxi - would cost £200! (which whilst I'm not on the poverty line is still an awful lot of money to spend - train fares will be maybe £60).

Also the DC want to take their bikes with them - not essential & they might have to do without BUT if Ex agrees to give us a lift they can put them on the bike carrier on the back of his car.

So, AIBU to think of asking him for a lift? (even if just for the DC & I get the train?)

I wouldn't mind so much getting train myself - in fact its probably more appealing than sitting in a car with him - but I just feel a bit sorry for the DC doing a 4 hour train journey......

ask him, he can only say no and I assume you will give him petrol money, so whats the problem?

i would actually ask him, and say you will give him petrol money. be gracious if he refuses.

what about a compromise of couriering the bikes? Look at how much DHL or the like would be to get them to your holiday venue and then return them. It'll be cheaper than taxis and a good compromise for the DCs. Or could bikes be hired near the holiday venue?

Also look at taxis between stations - ok, not as cheap as walking / tubes but much more sanity preserving than 1.5 hours in the car with ex and then owing him a favour...

Oh, and make it an aim for this year to learn to drive - tell yourself you can do it!

If it were me the train journey would stress me more than asking xp for a lift.

I had to ask xp to take us all to something yesterday, and wait with us and take us home afterwards. No it wasn't ideal, but it was for something for dd1, and so I felt justifed in asking, and he was fine about it.

Hi hi,

I'd ring and ask about the lift, the worst he can do is say no.

How about a coach or bus? Your parents? A very nice friend?

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Thanks for further replies! Am still undecided about what to so - but am leaning towards asking him because if he doesn't want to do it, he won't hesitate to say so (he is not someone who does things to keep the peace etc!) & I don't have anything much to lose from doing so. It's not like I won't go if he refuses - despite what DS1 might think

I know I need to learn to drive, but I'm honestly not sure I can pass a test. And yes I know how stupid that sounds. But I honestly think some people just cant get driving, and that I am one of them

I don't really have anyone else to ask for a lift if Ex refuses - I don't have any immediate family. there are friends I could ask, but they live much closer to where we are going than where we live, iyswim; most of my more local friends either don't drive or don't own cars, so are no help!

With hindsight, I should have thought more about the journey beforehand - however as I've frequently travelled much further in distance terms by train/coach (admittedly without DC in tow) it didnt occur to me to check actually how long the (on paper quite short) journey would take!