To breastfeed my 29 month old even if he's been naughty?

[RoRoMommy]

My DS is 29 months and a really avid breastfeeder. when he's upset, he asks for "tito", and I give it to him unless there are other, more obvious ways of comforting him (he bumps his head, I kiss it, for example), or it is impossible or inconvenient at the time.

But I do not refuse or withhold breastfeeding if he's having a strop and requests it, as I find it calms him quite effectively. My husband thinks this is coddling, and that tito should be refused if he is being naughty. I don't want to use breastfeeding as behaviour currency. Am I being unreasonable? What do others do?

Well...but BF is basically cuddles, comfort, yumminess. If my DS (ok, he's not quite old enough for toddler tantrums but I spend a lot of time with friend's 2.10mo DS) was tantrumming, I would not give cuddles or something yummy. IMO, ignoring is the best way to deal with tantrums. Giving a cuddle and something nice just seems counter intuitive, even if you believe that BF is 'outside these things' - I don't actually believe it is.
Still, difference of opinion and parenting styles is all that is. Up to you - I wouldn't (or anything equivalent).

BOF/LaTrucha - I'm glad you've raised that point too because I was a little concerned about that.

If it's the equivalent of me, as an English speaker, going and doing some nannying abroad, and teaching the child to say 'tits','knockers' or 'great rack!' or something similar, then actually it's not endearing or amusing, it's downright disrespectful to the child.

If it's genuinely a perfectly acceptable nickname, then no problem - but it's difficult without knowing the nuances of the language to judge that!

It would probably be used at home rather than out.

Yes I think the placing in AIBU together with the unexplained word "tito" contributed to the strange impression!

Didn't mean to offend

Haven't read the whole thread but i don't think you should use a breastfeed as a reward for good behaviour or punish a child by refusing a feed.
I still breastfeed my 3 year old when she asks and my dh and I and anyone else looking after her have plenty of other ways of calming her down if breastfeeding is not available for whatever reason. It is as a couple of other posters have said "outside those things".

i think it depends on what he's doing to be naughty to be honest. I do agree that in most cases bf would and should be 'outside those things' - however, if he's hitting you or biting you or spitting at you then I certainly don't think it would be a good thing to bf him - if my ds did anything like that he had some time without me in the room as a clear message that mum won't be hit and does not want to spend time with you when you hit her...obviously bf-ing him would certainly mix those messages for him!

Other than that though it sounds like he is just using the bf as comfort and a calming tool which is great, and very useful for you and him I would say. I don't think it undermines anyone else personally.