Is It Possible???????

[juicyjolly]

I was wondering what you mners out there think of a man just being friends with a woman. No sex, no relationship other than friendship.
Do you think it possible?
What if the woman is married and the man isn't or visa versa.
What if they are both married? Not to each other obviously

If you were married and your partner has female friends would it worry you or be no problem at all?

Of course they can. My DP has tons of female friends and works in an all female office so is often the only bloke on a night out. it doesn't bother me at all because I know there is nothing in it and they are just good mates.

Believe it or not, you can like someone without wanting to fuck them. Some people, while perfectly likeable, simply do not arouse you sexually. Quite a lot of individuals are in fac not so uncontrollably desperate for sex that they cannot be trusted to speak to any sentient human being without asking for a hand job.

I have lost many a male friend to whining inadequate twats of women with obsessive monogamism. Fortunately the men usually see sense and dump the silly bitches after a while: as do the women who find themselves hooked up with inadequate monogamist men - though it's easier to detect the selfishness and nastiness of the obsessive monogamist when it's a man as men tend to be harsher about it; they get aggressive and women not only detect the problem and flee but get a lot of sympathy, whereas women who are this obsessive get away with it by being 'insecure' and 'fwagile' for a while.

One of my best friends is a man and we have always been just friends. We used to house share and were always just friends from the outstart. In fact when he first came round to view the house I lived in to move into spare room i laid down the ground rules. We had just lost our previous housemate because he shagged another girl staying there and it all went horribly wrong. So when my soon-to-be-new best friend looked around i showed him the house and said, "there is only one rule really in this house now and that is you don't shag your housemates". He looked me up and down and said, "you're the only girl living here, right?" I said, "yes". He said "Won't be a problem". (I pretty much walked into that one so muttered something about one month's rent in advance etc etc!) We have been best friends ever since

My husband has female friends and i don't mind as i trust him implicitly.

I agree with Stigaloid - shouldn't be a problem if you trust your partner, even if there is a bit of harmless flirting going on.

Freaking out about things like this are usually more a reflection of the state of your own relationship and your own insecurities than anything else.

One of my best and oldest freinds is male, i wculd no more fancy him than i would a broom,
htheir on the same level as my brother, bbrother in law's and my freinds husbands, their not "men" iykwim, well they are men, but not MEN, oh i know what i mean

I don't know to be honest.
DH reckons all men 'speculate' about female friends because thats what men do even if they never let on. And even speculating men wouldn't be up for it if they were married or honest. But the underlying sexual speculation would be there.
I don't have any male firnds. I used too when single and in th early days with dh and all of them tried it on at one time or another or used me as an 'agony aunt' with hugs that tried to turn into something else.

Reality: people have different boundaries when it comes to flirting/cheating/monogamy to be sure. But if you are at one end of the scale you should only have relationships with similar people or you will drive yourself and any partners absolutely mad. When I talk of obsessive monogamists I don't mean those who have been upset by partners blatantly breaching existing agreements, I mean the ones who are obsessed with the possibility of a partner even thinking about sex with other people, the sort who can't let a partner go anywhere alone or have any kind of private communication, and who behave like this from about the second date onwards.

Yes. I find male friendships a lot less demanding than female ones. They tend to be less complicated and are happy to take things at face value. You can also have discussions without them getting personal. I have female friends too for the soul-baring minutia-discussions. I value them both. Having said all that I think there is usually some kind of sexual frisson there - it's sort of inevitable when you like someone a great deal, but it's harmless if you keep it to the background.

Thanx for the replies.

No I am not having trouble with flirty texts flying around...its just that I wondered what other womens perspective was concerning flirty conversations, texts or whatever.
To be totally honest, I would have been a little wary about someone I was with being a bit of a flirt, but with age, experience of life and knowing my dh, it is truly something that does not worry me. Whether or not that makes me naive in some peoples eyes, that isnt something that concerns me......I know what I know, iyswim.

Oh, one more thing. I am not upset by the texting. Honestly. If I was then I certainly would admit it......if I cant admit it here to so many anonymous (and of course, wise) mn'ers then I dont know were I could.