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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to walk into the lounge with a hammer and smash up DH's Xbox

19 replies

nickymorris · 18/08/2009 21:47

DH is 39 and just bought himself an Xbox. Before he bought it he asked me what I thought and I explained that I hated them and I didn't want one in the house. So he went and bought one.

He's in the lounge now leaving me to put our 1 year old DS to bed, clean up the mess from supper, empty dishwasher, do a million and one other useful things around the house (and a little bit of MN) before bedtime.

I hate the Xbox and the fact it symbolises him taking me for granted and making me miserable. I also hate the way that since we've got it there is always a small part of his brain going 'I wish I was playing on my xbox'. He's grumpy, miserable, snappy and aggressive and generally vile to live with - and if I challenge him about it I get a lecture about how I should 'lighten-up' and let him have fun. I have no problem with him having fun - but I do mind if he shirks his responsibilities leaving them all for me to do - so that I can't have fun too (not that I'd ever go near his Xbox).

OP posts:

curiositykilled · 18/08/2009 21:55

You should go near the Xbox... you should get on it first! lol. Do some competitive shirking and make lots of comments like "OH! I can see why you wanted one of these! "

I'm not sure why your DH asked and then got one anyway, surely that's just really mean. You should tell him you don't want it and that he needs to take it back or sell it.

Trikken · 18/08/2009 21:55

i dont think that having an xbox is a problem, but he should be helping you out first, then when all chores done and ds in bed playing on it. he is BU.
Dh has one which is fine cos he'll help me and then we might play something together, or him on xbox whilst i MN.
I think is attitude is awful, you oth need to have fun, not just him.

drlove8 · 18/08/2009 21:55

dont smash , take over . sit down and play a few games with him..... leaving the house the way it is.... he'll get rid of it when he finds out your better at the games than he is .... tis the way of the boys men .

PuppyLoves · 18/08/2009 21:58

yanbu to hate that he is shirking his responsibliltes.

However I should own up and admit that I am on MN whilst playing the GOW2 on the xbox with DH. We enjoy it and it is a way of having fun when you are on a limited budget.

However that said, I cooked dinner tonght, DH cleaned the kitchen after. He bathed dd and I put her down. I would not be happy with him playing it whilst I did all the work.

so, YANBU

WhereYouLeftIt · 18/08/2009 21:59

Monopolise the damned thing - and ask him sweetly if he could load the dishwasher etc. "just while I complete this level". Then never do (complete the level).

BitOfFun · 18/08/2009 22:00

Hmm, I wouldn't have the slightest interest in playing X-box, but I would want to get him to agree that you both get stuff that needs doing done before he goes on it. You can strike a deal maybe that neither of you goes on the X-box or MN at least one night a week so you can watch a movie together or something?

Trikken · 18/08/2009 22:00

puppyloves GOW 1 and 2 are good! I've played them with my dh too. im i tend to be a distraction so he can do all the main bits, all im good at is dying, hehe.

curiositykilled · 18/08/2009 22:04

get one of those dance games for girls too... they are vile but probably fun... invite all your girlfriends round to play it with you with much girly alcohol...

curiositykilled · 18/08/2009 22:05

Paint it pink and stick feathers and glitter on it... Over feminise it...

curiositykilled · 18/08/2009 22:06

or get a dc to accidentally spill something on it...

muhahahaha

What a child I am....

Heated · 18/08/2009 22:13

Can you come to some reasoned negotiation with dh?

My dh loves his Xbox but the deal is that he can only play it after the dc are put to bed (we alternate and take one each) and if I've cooked, he's loads dw, tidies kitchen and made his and ds' sandwiches - I have a lot of work to do in the evenings, he none. The reason is that most of the games are not age appropriate for the dc, nor do I want them spending their childhood playing computer games. The exception is an hour on Saturday after swimming when they all play Bomberman or some Wii.

Dh can get a bit obsessive but knows if it's got OTT as I threaten to remove essential parts (of the Xbox, not of dh) and it gets turned off. But if I MN, it's only fair he can Xbox.

PuppyLoves · 18/08/2009 22:18

I like playing it on LIVE trikken then I can speak to people from all over the world. I find it fasincating that I be playin sat in my pj's ready for bed, talking to someone from across the side of the world who has just got up/is going to work/ picking the kids up from school.

And I've downloaded loads of cheesy arcade games (which DH hates) So I can play battleships with someone in Aus, connect 4 with someone in Holland etc

I love that aspect of it

glasjam · 18/08/2009 22:27

I find it quite sad when I go to people's houses and see an Xbox or other game sitting in the living room and find out that it's there primarily for the father's use. I always feel sorry for the partner.

Trikken · 18/08/2009 22:47

sounds good puppyloves might have to try that.

Sassyfrassy · 19/08/2009 14:58

In our house the xbox is all mine DH hogs the computer instead. We do have an unspoken rule that we don't play our games until after the children are in bed. It's much too easy to get caught up in it.

AMumInScotland · 19/08/2009 15:04

The problem isn't the X-box, it's living with a boy/man who thinks you're his mother nagging him when you point out that work has to be done before playtime.

You need a serious discussion of who does what around the house, then he needs to take his responsibilities as a husband, father, home-occupier seriously. He can have fun after his share of the work is done.

TitsalinaBumsquash · 19/08/2009 15:15

We have an XBOX, Wii and PS3 ans we share them, we also have the rule that they don't go on untill the children are in bed, we also have 2 nights a week where they don't go on becuase were watching thw Wrestling together. (sad i know bu we enjoy it)

There is nothing sador wrong with grown up's or anybody for that fact having games consoles as long as they don't overtake everyday chores or activites.

TitsalinaBumsquash · 19/08/2009 15:16

for you folk with an XBOX feel free to add me to your firends QueenCharlee.

NetworkGuy · 20/08/2009 14:06

Not sure (I had the old Atari when I was in my teens) but the X-Box can probably access the net, so you may be able to browse some websites, watch a few YouTube videos and generally 'use it' before he gets onto it sometimes...

Perhaps some X-Box owner can confirm if it's possible and what's needed to get it to work for browsing..

Will just show him that since he bought it when you explained your dislike of the thing, you are not going to be excluded from using it, and he's not going to use it as an excuse not to help out with chores!

Hope it will teach him to consider you a bit more... you can even point out the things that need doing while you are 'busy' using the X-Box!

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