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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask a few of you out there to give me a hug

46 replies

Unlikelyamazonian · 16/08/2009 20:53

please? Feeling needy and shit

OP posts:

Original poster

Unlikelyamazonian · 16/08/2009 21:34

thanks. galaxy eaten with grateful chomping sounds. going to go to bed. thanks again xxxx

OP posts:

ninah · 16/08/2009 21:35

my ex stuck to local whores, he was parsimonious that way
this is all quite recent for you sweetheart
you have to keep on keeping on
it will get better, I promise
you still have the odd eve like this but much much less
you can be happy again

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 16/08/2009 21:49

Ah UA, bless you. ((((hugs)))

DS is beautiful

madameDefarge · 16/08/2009 22:06

He is gorgeous. And think how much better a man he is going to be without asshole around (have lurked on your other thread).

It gets easier. My ds is 8, and a splendid little chap too. Here's a glass of wine to all us single mums.

tribpot · 17/08/2009 19:01

UA I hope you are feeling better today, so sorry you've had a setback.

SmallScrewCap · 17/08/2009 19:03

Here, I am eating a Magnum, you can nibble all the big bits of chocolate off if you like

pinkchampagne · 17/08/2009 19:10

Hope you are feeling a bit better. I was feeling very much like you a couple of weeks back after returning from my holiday. Was suddenly all alone in an empty house with letters waiting for me giving me a date for my DS to have a test for autism & no letter waiting to tell me I am getting nearer my divorce. Had the worst post holiday blues ever for a good week! It is after good times with lots of company that being a single mum hits hardest isn't it?

tribpot · 17/08/2009 19:14

Oh PC didn't know that about your ds, so sorry to hear that too.

UA we had the most enormous bar of Galaxy ever in the office today, courtesy of Brittany Ferries. There was loads left when I left, have a virtual piece.

bubblagirl · 17/08/2009 19:16

your ds is simply adorable so is the little dog lol big hugs to you {{{{{hugs}}}}}

pinkchampagne · 17/08/2009 19:21

Yes I have to take him next Tuesday for an ADOS test which I have been told will give a definite answer. Dreading it even though I know it needs to be done to get him the help.

Original poster

Unlikelyamazonian · 17/08/2009 19:49

PC you are right. It is when we have been having fun and a relaxed time away from the persistent anxiety and stress..the daily business of just staying alive and raising our wonderful babes.... that it hits.

You must be very concerned about the test for DS. Have you got somebody to go with? Be brave love. It may not be what you think. If it is, you will manage and DS will be ok and there are a world of services out there to help you.

Feel better today. A lot of the time I am the full-on Amazonian type person, then sometimes the Unlikelyamazonian comes up and slaps me on the back and I revert to being terrified about the future and angry with arsewipe.

It must be normal but I wish Mrs Amazonian would just move in full time and when her lesser-self comes knocking, the bare-norked, spear-carrying, rings-in-her-lips, striding-legged Proper Amazonian of my dreams would send her packing with an anaconda in her ear.

tribpot thanks for the galaxy

OP posts:

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 17/08/2009 19:55

Forget the hugs woman, here have a large gin and tonic

supersalstrawberry · 17/08/2009 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tribpot · 17/08/2009 20:05

UA I think Mrs Amazonian will ultimately take up permanent residence but right now she is testing the waters and planning her future campaigns. She knows you are worth fighting for, she just has to decide how best to do it.

I feel so terribly for you, initiating a divorce with someone who frankly makes 'C You Next Tuesday' sound like a compliment. But thank god he is gone. Other vulnerable women will suffer, but you can't stop that or change that, you can only protect ds and you. Thank god.

squilly · 17/08/2009 20:21

Your son is totally, totally gorgeous Makes me broody and I'm WAAaayy too old for all that stuff now.

I think we'd all like our own version of Mrs Amazonia to live with us constantly, but life's never that easy. It's ups and downs and lots of stuff inbetween. Even the most optimistic of us can lose the plot occasionally and get overwhelmed by circumstances. And it sounds like you have a crap load of circumstances to conted with.

Your boy is gorgeous. You look adorable. I hope in years to come you look back at this as a rainy day in an otherwise sunny life. Mumsnet might be a battlezone at times and might be full of crap on occasions, but when you're down and feeling really shitty, that's when it comes into it's own and people pull together.

Glad you're feeling better...take care.

NotPlayingAnyMore · 17/08/2009 20:31

HUGE ((((((hugs)))))) as it's you, UA

"When you're going through hell, keep going" as they say... The strength you've shown through the advice you've given to others has been amazing, even if you don't feel it all the time

Can hardly believe the height of your gorgeous DS now!

Original poster

Unlikelyamazonian · 17/08/2009 21:07

Thanks so much for the hugs and the gin and everything. Feeling squashed, tipsy and have chocolate around my mouth.

tribpot, as you say he is already working on other vulnerable women - the young cambodian prostitute, one of his Thai Uni students (but she is 19 and I suppose therefore an adult and he is not officially in the wrong. I have no idea about thai education ethics...I do know that a relationship with a student, even 19, in this country would be poorly regarded.

Maybe when the divorce thing is over and the rented place sold I will write to the Uni department with documentation (he will have been struck off the teaching register here by then) to try and afford these women some protection. I know, I know, I should leave well alone and they would never believe me and it is none of my business and I should only look after myself and DS now.

But...and it is a big But in my heart....nobody warned me about arsewipe and since all this has happened I have heard snippets and picked up on info that proves people (his family in partticular) DID know he was dangerous.

I have a duty of care don't I?

I am aiding and abetting him if I forever stay schtum am I not?

I do not want him to be in the newspapers for something unspeakable in a few years time, for DS's sake... The press would be on MY doorstep {and you know what the DM is like . I would have to feign ignorance and I would fail spectacularly to do so; I would want to dictate the full story }

I would rather he was banged up in a thai prison.

I shall probably write to Derk Haank too. One day. One day. I can see the headline now...it would not look good for them. Serve them right for enabling arsewipe's pretty swanky existence.

Yes yes tell me I should move on. I am moving on. I have a thing called a Conscience though and it gives me bad dreams.

any more of that gin and tonic going?? xx

OP posts:

Fruitysunshine · 17/08/2009 21:09

Have a big hug from me too hugs

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 17/08/2009 22:59

UA at some point you will either find that you can just let go, or realise that to be finally free of him you need to write to people and expose him.

Until that point - here is some more gin and chocolate

Mumcentreplus · 17/08/2009 23:17

landrover · 19/08/2009 18:53

hug

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