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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think friends ar a bit selfish when it comes to holidays

36 replies

katiestar · 15/08/2009 18:11

A couple who are neighbours of ours have 4 children -2 bots 10 and 8 and 2 girls 6 and 5.
Mum has been on holiday several weekend and 1 full week skiing with her friends.Dad has had a weeks skiing with his friends plus another week skiing with his father + eldest son.Then mum and dad have taken the 2 eldest boys on a weeks skiing with 2 other families , and left the 2 little girls at home and school with the grandparents coming to look after them Reason - they couldn't afford for them all to go !

Feel really sorrt for the youngest 2 who haven't had a holiday at all.
We are very old fashioned I think, in that we all go as a family and if we can't afford for everyone to do it,then we find something cheaper.I'm probably a bit envious of all their holidays although I don't think I'd actually feel right about being away so much without my DC.

OP posts:
Morloth · 16/08/2009 16:05

Sounds like a whole bunch of not your business. You have no idea what the dynamics in the family are like.

BadgersArse · 16/08/2009 16:11

since when has anyhting on Mn not been "our business"?

Morloth · 16/08/2009 16:14

Good point. We really do need a "cat's bum" smiley though.

Original poster
katiestar · 16/08/2009 18:24

I KNOW it isn't my business I never said it was and I haven't, and wouldn't dream of sating anything to them about it , but that doesn't mean I don't have to have an opinion about it !

OP posts:
sporadicname · 16/08/2009 18:44

YANBU and I agree with you it seems very strange that they would leave two children behind and take two with them.

Yes, it nobody's business but theirs, doesn't mean you can't think it though

piscesmoon · 16/08/2009 19:00

I expect the girls will get their turn later. I don't think that they get full enjoyment out of skiing until they are about 8yrs old or unless you go with other families with DCs their age. Maybe having the grandparents spoil them is a real treat.
Everyone is different. Probably they can't stand beach holidays.

chichichien · 16/08/2009 19:17

I think there's likely to be some fallout at some time, if you take some of your dc on holiday but not others.

Someone I know did something along these lines recently and I thought it was a poor decision.

piscesmoon · 17/08/2009 07:38

I have done similar-it means that the youngest catch up in the end because they are still going when the oldest has stopped. I did it with skiing holidays. I took them when they are young, but to be honest it was for me not them. They have to go to a creche and/or lessons with DCs and adults they don't know, it can be cold and snowing, they have to carry equipment and walking is difficult. The alternative is to go and not ski, but give them fun in the snow-so there isn't a lot of point. It was no fun for them under 5 yrs if I am honest and it isn't really until they were 7 yrs that they cope with it and love it. I ski from lifts open to lifts closed so it is a long day. I would say that being at home with grandparents would be much nicer for them.
In the case of OP I expect the oldest went alone with his father because his skiing was of a high enough standard. The 2 boys would go with their mother because they could ski and they matched the friends age. If the girls are going to like skiing they have a lot to look forward to in the future.
I don't think that you can judge other people's holiday decisions. I think it is pointless taking a 2 yr old on a long plane journey to the sun when they would be much happier digging in the sand with an overcast sky in Britain, but I would never say so-the parents are free to make their own choices.

landrover · 20/08/2009 12:56

their business

hatwoman · 20/08/2009 13:10

The family clearly love ski-ing (rightly so imo). It's a brilliant activity to introduce your children to and, unlike other holidays, by doing it with kids you're not just giving them a week of fun and nice memories you're actually giving them a skill - one that they can learn when young like no other time in their life and will very likely enjoy for the rest of their lives. It's also bloody expensive. if I had 4 kids and a choice between taking 2 of them ski-ing alternate years or taking all 4 of them on some other form of holiday then I would definitely do what this family is doing. I would also love to have the chance to ski without kids. They're clearly ski-ing mad and have made decisions that enable them to indulge their own ski-ing love and introduce all 4 kids to it (albeit not at once). You really can't compare it to other sorts of holiday - and if you don;t ski I can see why you might not understand. but I think yabu to think they are being selfish.

hatwoman · 20/08/2009 13:13

I also agree with piscesmoon.

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