Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

To not really want to listen to dh talking about his beautiful, talented ex gf's?

24 replies

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 15/08/2009 08:26

Especially at a time when I'm feeling fat, ugly, and generally a bit low?

We only got on the subject because an old friend of mine (male, but not an ex) got back in touch recently and I've been trying to arrange for him to come stay. Dh jokingly asked if he was fit (he's not) then spent a good ten minutes reminiscing about his ex who was tall, slim and beautiful, with amazing skin and a talented artist. While I am still trying to shed baby weight, have shit hair, no dress sense, awful skin and no time to practise artistic talent even if I had any. Which I don't.

Oh. And no-one is allowed to say IABU, because I'm covered in mozzie bites and very grumpy and getting over mastitis. Which apparently is something cows get - thank you dh.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 15/08/2009 08:47

YANBU.

expatinscotland · 15/08/2009 08:48

he's a real winner, your h .

Original poster

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 15/08/2009 08:52

He's been doing so well lately too.

OP posts:

SammyK · 15/08/2009 08:52

Wow.

He is either extremely insensitive or a bit of a knob, or both? What a charmer!

secretgardin · 15/08/2009 09:27

dh used to mention his exes a lot in conversation. he compared them to certain actresses on tv (all skinny and well turned out obviously) then we bumped into one in the street and i found out he is prone to exagerration luckely for him, i put up with his ego trips, bless him (the others obviously didn't), ignored the ex talk and it soon went away. feign boredom, yawn and leave the room. i'm only getting back to feeling human and dd is 18 months now, so hang in there and don't let it get to you. try and get half an hour here or there to pamper yourself, paint toenails etc. nothing big, but something to boost you a bit

Original poster

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 15/08/2009 09:36

Why do they do do it? Are they trying to make us retroactively jealous?

OP posts:

pjmama · 15/08/2009 09:39

Just hit him with your slipper or something. Or start reminiscing about a Brad Pitt lookalike ex of yours who was an animal in the sack, then ask him how it makes him feel?

motherbeyond · 15/08/2009 09:47

you should sigh dreamily,and when he enquires as to why,say something like,"oh,i was just thinking about my ex ,john.he was 6'2,stomach like a wash board...and had the biggest cock you've ever seen in your life" look at d h's crotch area and then sigh again sadly..!

expatinscotland · 15/08/2009 09:48

why do they do it? well, insensitivity and knobbo-ness spring to mind.

i've gone out with a lot of men in my life. some were better-looking than DH, had more money, etc. but i'm not with them, am i? i'm with DH. not on to bang on about how they were.

DH knows my ex h, btw, and he's seen photos of my ex bf.

i went out with a guy who kept banging on about his exes. because he was a small-minded, Napoleonic complex, insecure, ugly on the inside and out twat.

he didn't last long .

Original poster

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 15/08/2009 09:51

Sadly he knows my exes are all loony and ugly. There was the one who thought he was a werewolf, and the one who fancied himself as a necromancer....you get the picture.

OP posts:

Original poster

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 15/08/2009 09:57

To be completely fair, he has been doing really well lately. We went to Relate, and we've been dealing with issues much better, and have been a lot closer.

I think he was just being insensitive. He did shut up pretty sharpish when I told him that hearing about his beautiful ex wasn't doing me any favours and thencame over all apologetic and said something like, "But you're the most amazing woman because you gave me my babies. And you have great legs. And...erm....glasses."

Then I made him make me a cup of tea in penance.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 15/08/2009 09:57

next time he does it, why listen to it? leave the room. or better yet, steer his sorry ass toward teh bathroom, say, 'tell it to the hand cuz the face ain't listening' and close the door behind you.

MrsMattie · 15/08/2009 09:58

What a knobber.

expatinscotland · 15/08/2009 10:01

'Then I made him make me a cup of tea in penance. '

Why? Why feel guilty when he was the one being insensitive and all you did was point it out it made you feel crap?

He's the one who should have made you a cuppa.

Honestly, UD, you gotta quit doing that sort of thing to yourself. You're worth more than that!

thedollshouse · 15/08/2009 10:07

YANBU. I think he sounds jealous of your male friend.

Original poster

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 15/08/2009 10:09

I did make him make me a cuppa! Sorry, that sentence is v hard to read.

He also got up with ds and brought me tea in bed this morning. We're getting there, slowly but surely.

OP posts:

Original poster

TAFKAtheUrbanDryad · 15/08/2009 10:16

That had occured to me dollshouse, but he really has nothing to be jealous of. My friend is more like a brother than anything else - although I suppose he doesn't necessarily know that.

OP posts:

HecatesTwopenceworth · 15/08/2009 21:43

Do you think there was a connection between your male friend and his deciding to pick that moment to talk about his ex? Asking you if this bloke was fit then reminding you he's had attractive girlfriends in the past seems, I dunno, linked.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 15/08/2009 21:43

oh. I see dollshouse has already said that. Sorry.

landrover · 20/08/2009 12:44

hit him

cocolepew · 20/08/2009 12:47

Say she was obviously too good for you then, that's why you're her ex.

sheeplikessleep · 20/08/2009 12:49

Agree with Dollshouse. Sounds like he is jealous of your male friend.

BlehdyDM · 20/08/2009 12:50

Kick him in the googlies.

knockedgymnast · 20/08/2009 13:15

It's nothing to do with insensitivity. It's purely low self-esteem. It's 'This is what I could have had and this is what I ended up with ' bollocks.

Why do men do it??

The thing that makes me laugh is that when they move onto their next victim partner, they'll be telling them the same shite. Only I'm now the beautiful ex and not the shitty partner.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrh

Flip