To sometimes evade the truth about my multiple partner children?

[skybright]

I would like your opinions on this ..eeekk.

I had my first baby at 16 with a very abusive 30 year old man who knocked seven rounds out of me when i was pregnant with his child,he went to prison for a short time,has never had any access or paid anything towards his daughter (not that i would want him too) ,left him after he beat me up at about 3 months pregnant.

Then when i was 19 i had another daughter to a man i had known from for about 4 years and been in a relationship with since my eldest was about 6 months old. Tragically he died when my second daughter was just 11 weeks old.

With me so far?

I have been with my current partner since i was 22 (almost 10 years) and we have an 18 month old son together after many years off ttc.

So i have 3 kids by 3 different fathers,i am a hard working MHN,my kids are in full knowledge of their individual circumstances however i find myself even on internet forums being evasive and letting people think that my first 2 kids have the same father (obviously long term friends are aware),they happened to share the same first name as well.

How many children from how many dads is it "seen" as reasonable to have in the current climate of muliple marriages etc.

Should i stop thinking that i am seen as complete stop or not?

No, I don't blame you - I am the same.

My best friend (4 kids, 3 fathers) tells this joke:

SW goes to see Sarah and her 10 children.

"What are their names", she asks

"Bob" says Sarah

"What about the other 9?" asks SW

"They're all called Bob" replies Sarah

"What, all of them? Even the girls?" Says SW

"Yup - I thought it was easier. If I want them to come in from outside I just shout BOB and they all come in. If I want them to tidy up I tell Bob to do it and they all muck in" Explains Sarah.

"But what if you only want to speak to one of them" ask the SW

"Oh that's easy" replies Sarah "I use their surnames"

--------

My best friend's circumstances are quite close to yours, she is hard working, a great mum, the kids are lovely and have been well bought up. Dad to the oldest one is fine - and still well involved (childhood sweethearts), Dad to second was a complete wanker, Dad to 3rd and 4th is her DH and treats 2nd child like his own - even though she was 6 when he came on the scene (actually No 2 child also gets treated like Dad 1's own, so she's luckier than most!). Their ages range from 20 through to 3, so heck of a mixture LOL.

If anyone looks down at her, or comments on her set-up she tells the joke - she laughs at her situation - It's not what she would have chosen but how dare anyone be judgemental of her situation.

You sound like the rest of us - a mum bringing up her kids - anything else is no-one elses business

(Although I would be tempted to cast my eyes to the floor and say in a quiet whisper, with a tremble "I was widowed" - just to see their silly arse faces!)

yep i to have 4 kids 2 by one man and 2 by my ex hubby and ye sits obvious they have differnt dads as 2 older ds are italian looking 2 youngets are milk bottles but my eldest ds turned rund when someone said oh hes your 1/2 brother and gave a very dirty look and said no hes my brother end of ,At 6foot lol not many argue with him.

Ds2 and ds4 have 8 years between them and total opsittes in colouring but omg they are so alike in lots of ways .

Ignore them most normal people would not give a dam or even ask

famishedass "What I'm trying to say is you're mistakes are visible ones. Many mistakes remain invisible" Charming

I have four children by two fathers (none of them are mistakes - they were all very much planned and remain very much loved) and I often gloss over that fact.

I can tell you now 100% I wouldn't think anything about this. I honestly don't know why anyone would.

As someone else said if someone judges you for this, would you want to be friends with them anyway?

All kids are amazing and we are lucky to have them, this kind of thing is irrelevant, to me anyway.

i have 2 children,by 2 fathers.
This statistic bears no reflection to the hordes of men that i have actually had sex with and not had a baby.
i think due to the age gap in my childrens age people will assume they are not full sisters-well they are in my head and that's all that counts.fuck anyone who has a problem with it.they are my children

I'm glad I'm not alone with this! My DD1's dad is my ex husbands and DD2 is my husband's. I get so embarressed when people ask (again a largeage gap often makes people question it) but then my true friends couldn't give a shit! I'm a great mum, happilly married, provide a happy life for my girls, I made a mistake marrying my ex but my DD1 is amazing and I would never rewind the clock and not have her just to stop the looks! DD1 still sees her dad, we all get on as best we can, he is included in joint things the girls do (he came to their christening for example as they were both christened at the same time) and he and his parents never exclude DD2 from anything (she get Xmas/birthday presents from them and they always bring her something home from holidays).

Actually, having out that in black and white I'm pretty proud of how well our dysfunctional family function!

Ignore the ignorant gits who want to judge us!

We don't really tell anyone about our childrens parentage...

DH & I have a son each with another partner, plus 2 together and one on the way. Can get very complicated . We are a family, so what to what anyone thinks?

As long as your name isn't Karen Matthews I think you can get away with it .

Just because people ask doesn't mean they're always wanting to judge. My old friend was age 15-27 when she had her 4 DC by 3 different dads; they are multi-racial so look extra-not alike. If I met someone like her socially on a regular basis (like at the school gate) I might ask or hint about their parentage because I'm nosy about how other people's lives, but not because I'm out to criticise.

It's a shame that us women get judged by this when men can get away with having lots off kids with lots of different women without being judged.

Same as if a man shags a lot of women then he is a stud whereas a woman is a whore.

I am a whore!

I'm not really I might hasten to add!

you are right

yanbu