to be jealous of sister in law's pregnancy?

[projectpoppy]

Hope the answer to this isn't a resounding "yes"!
Brother and his wife just announced pregnancy but I feel a bit sad/jealous.
Partly because a) I had PND and b) dd is neraly 4 but still awful sleeper.
I'm worried they'll do it all better than I did, and that everyone will think I'm crap!

You sound like you have really low self esteem and need to work on that.

YABU but you can't control your feelings -what you can work on it to make it easier.

one thing to remember that this isn't your SIL fault and don't take it out on her.

of course YABU but your feelings are natural if you have struggled

PND is very tough - why would anyone think you were crap?

you sound too hard on yourself

rejoice in being an aunt - tis loads of fun

Don't even think of comparing-just enjoy being an aunt!

Don't compare.

You can't stop your feelings, they are your feelings. But you should try not to let them show, so as not to spoil the pregnancy for your DB and your SIL.

Did you get any treatment for your PND?

Don't think you're being un reasonable at all. PND is very bleak. Just rejoice in the fact that you can give the baby back I can't wait for that to happen. I'm sure no-one would think you were crap. You're being too hard on yourself. Hugs

Hi, thanks for advice.
Of course I won't let any feelings show towards DB and SIL, and I know my DD will be soooo excited when I tell her tomorrow that she's going to be a big cousin!
Did get some counselling for PND which helped a bit but I still would never have another child as can't face going through feeling like that again. Had always assumed I'd have loads more, so I guess I'm a bit sad that the new babies in my family will not be coming from me, and my turn is over!

Very sad for you poppy, it must be so very difficult to come to terms with not having the family you thought you would have. The PND must have been agonising for you to decide to limit your family - you poor thing. I think your feelings are eloquently put and totally natural. Your sil's pregnancy probably will be a difficult time for you, but as you are aware of these feelings - and determined not to show them to db and sil, it sounds like you are on top of things. Have you a sympathetic r/l friend or perhaps your dh or mum who you can off load to?

Have you thought of talking to someone about your decision to have no more babies - it might help you to resolve those feelings of loss?