DS is one in just over a week. DS is 3 and she has never come to any of his birthdays - despite DH offering to fetch her, and on his 3rd suggesting 3 different days (in the end she admitted her boyfriend was coming for the weekend - he comes most weekends and alot of weekdays so nothing special, she couldn't even spare a few hours out of a whole weekend). She has never been here, depsite having been to try the supermarket just down the road! Dh has invited her around and she just doesn't bother. BIL also says she never visits them (5 minute walk from her) but she does, though not very often, and takes the grandchildren every so often - I have never been offered help but I wouldn't take it anyway as I found out social services took DHs brother away. All this has fueled me to stop being so tolerant - AIBU to send anything she sends right back with a note saying she can come in person to give it to her grandchild? She is quite able to use public transport - she goes up to London and back a few times a week, and to Brighton etc - we are about 2 buses away, so don't be imagining a frail old dear rocking in her chair!