to get upset at men drinking in public while in charge of small children?

[oysterpots]

I'm really not sure - it could be me being oversensitive.

Went to the park this afternoon, saw three men in charge of a boy, maybe 7 or 8 years old, all of them drinking cans of Stella Artois and carrying carrier bags with more cans in.

It just makes me feel sad for the kids (it's not the first time I've seen it, although different people) - is that really judgey?

There's a little boy (4ish) outside the pub in his buggy with a dummy every Thursday when I walk home from work while his dad is there drinking. I think it is quite sad, demonstrates the parent's priorities.

Perhaps the people you saw were on their way home - sitting at home having a few beers with your mates with an 8yr old around isn't that outrageous.

yes. But judging isn't always bad. We are getting brainwashed on here to think that we must never judge anyone ever at any time. That's daft! Sometimes people do things that deserve a bit of judgement!

Hmm... would you feel different if parents were supping champagne from a wicker hamper? (Not having a go )

Hmmmm - it depends. DP and I went for dinner at the pub earlier with DS1 and DS2 (3yo and 4mo). Perfectly acceptable, nice family meal with our children.

But propping up the bar while your child sits in their buggy dropping off all evening? I'd probably be hauling on my judgey pants.

i don't know... it depends on how many cans they're going to drink each i'd say, i mean i'd never think twice about having a pimms on a picnic with a child... or even a glass of wine at a bbq.. but i would never get 'drunk' in that situation... some guys can have 2/3 or more cans of beer without being drunk.

FreshHell, I know, the first time I saw it I thought, oh well, not exactly a family outing but it's a sunny evening, maybe dad saw his mates and fancied a beer.

But he is there every week, I feel like taking him back to my house and saying to his dad to pick him up on his way home!

YANBU, our town has several pubs all placed in the town-centre by road intersections. Weatherspoons and swanky places like that

Every time we go out late morning in the car there are badly-tattooed shaven-headed men sitting outside with toddlers in pushchairs and older kids playing on the railings by the road. They're still there when we come back past in the evening.

There is a nice park not far from the centre but when we take the DC there it is deserted.

Depressing really.

I probably would feel differently about two parents in charge of one child and both drinking, not sure it would matter what they were drinking. Or a more 'family friendly' situation - picnic, barbecue etc.

Think there was something about it being 3 men in a way I wouldn't feel the same as if it were 3 women. I know it shouldn't be different but it just gave me a weird sad feeling.

wondering, is the childs father outside with him? or inside in buggy?

If the later, please please get in tiuch with SS. This is neglect

No, dad is outside with him, if he'd been alone I would have alerted someone. He's always either in his buggy or fireman-ing down the poles holding the rope around the smoking area.

He seems quite happy, probably thinks he's out with his dad and it's great. But it makes me feel quite sad, perhaps I am too judgey.

YANBU - this is the exact reason I only let my ex see DD in the mornings otherwise she'd spend all afternoon in a pub, (not one of those family friendly ones but a bit of an 'old man's pub'). I know this for a fact as he does this with his other DD .

Depends very much on circumstances. There isn't anything wrong with occasionally having a few drinks with mates while DC are with you as long as you're not neglecting or ignoring the DC: when DS was still little enough to sleep in his buggy I (and his dad sometimes) used to go to pubs now and again. DS would be (depending on time of day and how he was feeling) running around the beer garden, looking at a picture book on someone's lap, eating mini-cheddars or napping in his buggy. We still spend a fair bit of time in and around big family-friendly pubs on morris-dancing trips whereupon DS has loads of people who care about him, usually a few other kids to run about with, and morris dancing to watch and attempt to copy (my DS in particular loves morris dancing and anyone playing an instrument - if he hated it I wouldn't take him along).

yabu, a few cans of beer to consume whilst taking your child to the park does not a judging session deserve

depends how much they have drink - and you will never know that unless you sit and watch them and count cans!!

but a man having a few beers at the park with a 8yr isnt terrible imho

mr blondes and i have done this on a sunday with friends

I think if its a regular occurance and ALL they do together then its pretty sad.

If its part of a wide range of activities- going to the park with a few drinks isnt really going to be a huge problem.