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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to subject my 21 month old to a blood test

45 replies

tryingtobemarypoppins · 11/08/2009 21:02

which I know he will be soooooooooo frightened and upset by to ease my worries about his health when DH thinks i'm OTT?

This kind of follows on from my thread from yesterday. He is pale, covered in bruises (but is a dare devil!), sleeps for 16 hours in 24, eats very little and his dietition at the hospital is concerned, is a low weight for height, his urine smells and on accassions his breath too.

GP suggested a blood and urine test today and has refered us for the blood test as they do it at the hospital.

Friends and family think he is fine so I feel terrible to put him through something only I am worried about.

OP posts:

PinkTulips · 12/08/2009 12:27

trying... take no notice of family.

My aunt told me
'No offence but I don't believe in allergies' to which i responded
'Well if you had to watch you daughter screaming in agony and bleeding from blistered nappy rash and not gain weight for over a year due to wheat damaging her gut so badly you might start to believe '

My mother behaved like i was being a paranoid idiot until a paediatrician confirmed that dd should under no circumstances be given cow's milk or wheat as she's severely intolerant, which when i told my mother she responded with 'Oh, really? '

tkband3 · 12/08/2009 12:29

marypoppins, my MIL, who used to be a paediatric nurse, and countless other family members, friends and even health professionals treated me like a neurotic first time mother when I worried about DD1's lethargy, lack of appetite, frequent vomiting, slow/non-existent weight gain, and constipation - for 2 years. MIL told me how many children she'd seen who didn't eat anything, but were perfectly healthy.

Then finally a GP listened to me and referred DD1 to a paediatrician. She had blood tests and was finally diagnosed with coeliac disease, put on a gluten free diet and was a changed child within a fortnight. MIL now apparently feels very guilty that she wasn't able to recognise the symptoms of coeliac disease - I don't blame her for that...a lot of GPs don't recognise the symptoms, but I do still resent the fact that she made me feel so small and convinced me to ignore DD1's problems and my instincts for so long, meaning that DD1 spent 2 years longer than she should have done in pain .

So you trust your instincts and thank your GP for being thorough and listening to you and ignore everyone else. Sorry for the rant...as you can tell, even though it's 3 years on, some resentment still remains .

ilovesprouts · 12/08/2009 12:32

my ds has had a few blood tests over the past few months they distract then whith bubbles etc ,and some hospital give them a card that you get stars on for being brave ,and when its full they get a toy ,they soon forget it hope all goes well tho !!

spinspinsugar · 12/08/2009 12:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesprouts · 12/08/2009 12:34

oh yes forgot about the magic cream

littleducks · 12/08/2009 12:40

Did your ds have immunisations?

I dont think a blood test is much different from an injection at that age.

Take some chocolate buttons and maybe a small toy (pot of playdough/bubbles) or a comic/magazine and it will prob be more worrying for you then him!

If your family complain more point out that it wouldnt look good to reject a drs suggestion for a blood test and how they wouldnt be impressed if he ever was ill and you had ignored symptoms.

oldraver · 12/08/2009 20:14

DS didnt have the numbing cream as they said the dont recommened it for someone very small. He did have a play specialist in with him when he had blood taken and he was fine with it

chegirl · 12/08/2009 20:31

oldraver v.shocked at that tbh! Sounds like a load of rubbish. I spent two years on paediatric wards with DD and saw tons of v.young children given local anesthetic cream.

I was told by a fair few HCP that DD 'didnt need' certain things and she should be a big brave girl. I told them to fuck off an come back when they had endured two years of chemotherapy.

OP echo what others have said. If this bt has been recommended it wouldve been for a good reason. Dont feel guilty about putting your child through medical procedures. That way madness lies. He will probably hate it but it will be over in seconds and he will get over it very quickly.

twinmam · 12/08/2009 20:52

You beat me to it Che - my 18 month old DD was seriously ill in hospital a month ago and had to undergo repeated blood tests, canulas etc. Each time they were more than happy to put on the cream and she is very wee. At the time it was very distressing for us and her but I think that was more the repetition. In fact one blood test on its own is fine, no more distressing than vaccinations - not fun but you know it is for the best. And clearly it is for the best - you're not only going on mum's instinct here, as reliable as that is (I firmly believe it is as did the excellent medical team we had in PICU) but also on the word of a dr who clearly knows what he/she is doing. Please try not to beat yourself up. Imagine how awful you'd feel if there had been something wrong and you'd not followed it up. That would be far worse than momentary pain that is quickly forgotten. DD2 is only a month on from being discharged and yet is happy and doing really well - even very traumatic medical procedures are, blessedly, forgotten by little ones (even if parents are scarred for life) Good luck and let us know how you get on.

MamaGoblin · 12/08/2009 22:39

I've got a friend who's a paediatric nurse. We were in adjoining beds after having our DC, and were discussing how bloody painful having a catheter fitted was, and that's after a local! She said it made her very about the fact that it's not protocol to use either EMLA or a local before putting in a catheter on her very young patients.

OP, I'd dread this too, because I'm fairly phobic about the pointy things but honestly, it's the best thing to do, and your DS won't remember it at all. If you try to go in with him in a very upbeat, happy way, he hopefully won't pick up on your worries beforehand. (This is why I get DH to take DS in for his vaccinations!)

babybarrister · 12/08/2009 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lotspot · 12/08/2009 23:25

without meaning to put the fear of god in you.......

you do the blood test...nothings wrong.....you feel guilty for a few hours/days maybe, but ultimately releaved

You don't do it and a few months down the line find out there us summit up and he's suffered for a few extra months when it could have been out in the open way back if he'd had the blood test

I don't want to scare you or sound pessimistic but surely you'd rather be safe than sorry i hope he's fine and just a little dare devil

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 13/08/2009 10:38

Thank-you everyone. I don't know really where to begin though now. Wednesday morning after a sleepness night I called my GP back, I didn't get through to the GP who saw our DS on Monday but spoke to a GP who we sometimes see.

She said she had spoken to the GP who saw us and felt we (by we I assume she means DH, GP and myself) were all being far to over reactionary

She felt the dietition and SALT who see our DS were out of ideas and clutching at straws

She went on to say I was a super mum but worry far too much, I needed to calm down She doesn't have children.

I cried all day yesterday. I am so confused. Every professional tells me something different, in 24 hours 2 GPs told me something different. I feel totally lost as to what to do and who to trust.

OP posts:

twinmam · 13/08/2009 10:57

Poor you Trying. I'm sorry that's happened and it is really bad form. I would be inclined to make an appointment rather than do it by the phone and give em hell. Or at least just point out how confused you are by all of the differing advice. It's not really for the GP to say the dietician is clutching at straws and this has understandably caused you more confusion. The dietician is an expert in this area whereas the GP isn't. I'm assuming the dietician's plans still stand and as everyone has said a blood test really won't do any harm.

tkband3 · 13/08/2009 20:46

Oh marypoppins, am so and a bit for you. It's simply not helpful for this GP to contradict the advice you've been given by the first GP. My experience is obviously colouring my opinion, but I agree with lotspot - far better to have a blood test that shows that nothing is wrong than not to have it done and have your DS's health deteriorate.

I genuinely believe that using the cream, distraction techniques and the promise of chocolate buttons will negate any trauma suffered by your DS (but I would advise you take another adult with you as you may find it upsetting even if your DS doesn't). If you are anywhere near me (North London), I would gladly come with you to hold your hand while you hold your DS's hand.

Hope you have had a better day today.

MummyDragon · 13/08/2009 20:47

Oooh you are so NBU - and the phlebotomist will definitely use the numbing cream which works so please, please don't worry about the blood test hurting.

You're being a good mum in following up on your DS' health issues - stick to your guns. Hopefully it will all be sorted out soon.

morocco · 13/08/2009 21:22

so has the other gp cancelled the blood tests? tbh it sounds like you are going to stay worried about this until you have the tests done. first off, I trust a mother's instinct, and if there's nothing wrong, it's not a huge deal to do one blood test and a urine test. have they done the urine test already btw? they can prob do a simple test in the surgery with multistix. never know if something might show up on that.
if tests not cancelled, try not to worry about it all and just go ahead with it
if tests cancelled, go back and see your gp to talk some more about what they suggest instead.

Original poster

tryingtobemarypoppins · 14/08/2009 21:33

Thank-you morocco MummyDragon twinmam tkband3 I feel so embarrassed and criticised as a mum, my GP's comments about me being OTT really hurt me. I feel unable to go to the surgery now without eyes being rolled.

The SALT and dietician are assessing our LO on the 24th together, the dietician called today and I sobbed it all out to her she was great and suggested we bypass the GP and go to a ped, although she would need to get my GP to refer us as she can't although the SALT may be able to. She was really great today and reminded why we are so concerned which worried me even more.

My GP didn't say if she cancelled the blood test but I have the urine ready for DH to drop off tomorrow, I haven't heard from the hospital. I know I should be bold and brave and go back and talk it through with my GP but I am so scared she will say I am hormonal again (I'm pregnant) and I am OTT, at this rate she will have me sectioned! I am hoping the SALT and dietician will take the lead now.
It really doesn?t help that we live in a small village and my GP lives here to. She is a bit of a socialite and seems to know friends of friends, I just hope she is professional.

Thank-you so much for your kind words, its been a hard week thank goodness for MN!

OP posts:

spinspinsugar · 15/08/2009 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

undomesticatedgoddess · 15/08/2009 17:57

YANBU

The previous poster's have given good advice about the cream and the play to distract.

My DS1 had a blood test when he was about 12months old as he was thought to be anaemic / coeliac. It was fine.

The way that clinicians decide to do a test is if they will act on the results. This can work for you as a parent. You suspect that something is wrong. If you have the test then you may have a diagnosis and can then go on to treat your DC. If the test shows nothing then it means that the dietician / SALT can devise their treatment plans having ruled out something more serious. So the test is going change the way your DC is treated.

I'm surprised the dietician doesn't have the ability to order blood tests in the hospital. It's not just Drs who can request them ( although not sure what the situation is with paeds)

Go with your instinct. FWIW - From the symptoms you've described if it was my DS I'd want the test.

HTH

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