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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

i dont think i am. but then again it is facebook!

16 replies

hunniesugarplum · 08/08/2009 17:21

Am relatively relaxed person, however, with help from lil sis have just set about deleting several old work colleagues due to a hurtful comment.

I posted on FB yesterday that i have been diagnosed with gestational diabetes. Ex work colleague who i have not seen in years posts "what a surprise". Hurtful i think, especially as i know she is saying this as i saw another ex-colleague a week or two ago who made a rude comment to me, so i know she is saying this based on what colleague i saw has said maliciously IYSWIM? anyway ive deleted all involved parties but WIBU?

it was in my opinion said to hurt, else it would of been phrased differently. I am not disputing of course that i am overweight so it was not all that surprising, however im not morbidly obese, just a bit overweight, and the last time i saw the colleague who posted the above comment, i was no more than one stone overweight.... I have also lost 18lbs during pregnancy and from what i understand this is set to continue, ive also greatly modified my diet, and thought i was doing well

OP posts:
Tamarto · 08/08/2009 17:23

Delete FB.

HollyBunda · 08/08/2009 17:25

god, that's just mean.
I would totally delete them and anyone else on my 'friends' list who wasn't 100% supportive and kind to me. I don't have anyone on my list who I don't consider an actual friend who I know would always have my back.

CULLCULLCULL!!!

HollyBunda · 08/08/2009 17:25

god, that's just mean.
I would totally delete them and anyone else on my 'friends' list who wasn't 100% supportive and kind to me. I don't have anyone on my list who I don't consider an actual friend who I know would always have my back.

CULLCULLCULL!!!

Meglet · 08/08/2009 17:26

they are bloody rude. Delete and block! Facebook is meant to be fun.

hunniesugarplum · 08/08/2009 17:34

exactly! well ive deleted her and her sister, and the other colleague in question. thing is i didnt think much of initial comment from colleague as she is just one of lifes rude people ( she also said to my DP "fuck me james you have put a lot of wight on" she isnt petite herself!!), however ive since realised i dont actually need people like that around me, she used to be a laugh but now i see it was always about judgin people. im 22 and they are both 40+ so i actually feel a bit sad they've nothing better to do than talk about me!

OP posts:
LoveBeingAMummy · 08/08/2009 20:37

What a horrible sad person she is

MIAonline · 08/08/2009 20:52

YANBU

You have done the right thing, stop questioning yourself about. Jealousy is not an attractive trait and your ex colleague will hopefully find that out one day.

lovechoc · 08/08/2009 21:06

YABU, why bother using FB it just causes too many problems for people. This is just one of many examples...

Sorry for being so blunt, and it's not great to be told you have gestational diabetes but really, if you open up on a social networking site about your personal life this is really what happens, people will make comments about it.

FB really is sh*t.

slowreadingprogress · 08/08/2009 21:35

I agree that if you put personal details on facebook then they are there for comment and unless you only have real friends on there then you are vulnerable to people's need to gossip and bitch.

The secret to FB is to add ONLY good friends and to only put on the most superficial comments that are nothing to do with your real, emotional life.

I'm using it in this way and it's been fun. I have been amazed though at the amount of people who add on 350 of their 'friends'. Many people are on there to 'collect' friends and I have even been pressured to add loads more people etc. But I stick to my guns and have a very select group of friends on there. No doubt some would look at my paltry number of friends and snigger but I'm not into collecting people to make me feel good. I don't need it.

Use FB for superifical chit chat or fun in the future and you will probably be ok with it

hunniesugarplum · 09/08/2009 17:27

well having deleted them, i had a very very nasty message from the woman concerned. given that she is nearly 50 this make me a bit still lesson learned, will not be giving people the benefit of the doubt any more, will be very careful who i add!! for the record tho, the people i have added are all actual people i know, which is what makes it a bit upsetting.

have text the "friend" who i think the comment originated from just saying ive deleted you, and this is why, hopefully she'll leave it at that!

OP posts:
mawbroon · 09/08/2009 17:34

How do you delete friends on FB then?

And do they know?

hunniesugarplum · 09/08/2009 17:58

you go into friends list and there is an X, to delete them, but im guessing it notifies them as i cant think why else this woman would have noticed, which is a bit daft but i suppose its the way facebook works!

OP posts:
pickyvic · 09/08/2009 18:06

i zapped my facebook account entirely and feel so much better for it! zap em all the rotten sods, or get rid of FB, i felt liberated!

TrillianAstra · 09/08/2009 18:08

People are not notified if you remove them from your friends list.

They might notice that they can no longer see your page, or that their friend number has gone down by 1.

JodieO · 09/08/2009 18:12

No it doesn't notify when you delete someone. Did you also block her? If so, she cannot send you messages on there.

breakingnews · 09/08/2009 18:58

YANBU... I culled a few 'friends' last weekend after them being complete bitches... it feels good.... you don't need nasty pieces of work in you life...

Don't beat yourself up for doing it.... think of them as toxic 'friends' and you have now detoxed.....

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