slightly feral guests ARGGGG

[pfft]

We have some old uni friends staying with us while one of them finishes off his PhD and hands it in.

They're good friends so we're happy to have them, particularly as we have space to not all end up in each other's hair.

But they're really feral, and annoyingly free and easy with our stuff. They have their kitchen stuff with them, so we could just not worry, but they're destroying all of ours...

They've scratched the surface off all of our pots and pans, despide DS (4) helpfully handing them wooden spatulas rather than metal spoons (not under instructions from me, though GAAAAH it certainly could be)... they sometimes do their dishes, but only after they've been sitting by the sink for 5 days, covered in food and flies... they sometimes even do some of our dishes, by chucking everyting into the sink with cold water and then taking it out again (usually with a few glasses and mugs broken - of course always our glasses and mugs) and dumping it in pools of food-filled greasy cold water on the kitchen table. They seem to like using plates that have a pre-coating of food... and the wife keeps pointedly telling the husband to WASH THE DETERGENT OFF THE DISHES because she can't stand soapy plates.... it's not soap on those plates!

These people are professionals, in their 30s, one of them is a medic.... it's not like they've never heard of hygiene!

How do I politely get it across to them that they're being really annoyingly feral?

Grrrrrrr....

we'll have to agree to disagree i think
they must be prettyy unwordly to think that it's okay and that the OP would be ok with it when she has a family now
If they are as you say they are horrid self centred people who imo aren't lovely

I agree that they certainly seem to be deficient in the imagination and maturity departments...But they may not be horrible people.

It is your house and I can't understand why you don't just say to them "This is the way we do it in this house, so can you please do XYZ because I find it very unpleasant to have flies in my kitchen." You don't need to pussy foot around the issue or be nasty, you just set out your expectations. They are guests, not equals in your household.

OP, I'm going to spell it out to you- but doctors are the messiest, filthiest flatmates one could have! I think it stems from them believing they are doctors and everybody looks up to them so why should they have to engage in menial tasks like housework.

Sorry for any doctors I may offend but I'm an allied health professional and when files go missing we always go over to the doctors (filthy smelly) residence and find these files with old tea and mouldy food stuck to them.

There are lots of other stories I could tell like, when i was a atudent and we had our common room it was always spick and span - until we had to share it with medical students! Lo and behold, it became a hovel in no time. You'd find plates of leftover mouldy food and tea/coffee left under chairs/cushions. We were just told by tutors if we didn't like it we'd just have to clean up after the f**kers!

There's nothing you can do as it won't change their ways. But while not surprised I'm at your post, they should treat you with more respect when they're living rent-free at your house.

heehee qwertpoiuy, i know exactly what you mean, being an ex-medic myself... I feel very sorry for people who have to put up with stressed grumpy sleep-deprived filthy messy doctors, which is to some degree why I don't practice...

In answer to the 'lovely people' vs. piss-taking-feral questions - we've known these two since we were all undergrads together back in Seouth Efrica. They are our longest-standing friends, the godparents of our DS, and we like them precisely because they are relaxed, tolerant, big thinkers, and more interested in saving the world than doing the dishes.

Katisha's point about student digs and them not having moved on, seems to be about right.

I had a word (while doing several days' worth of dishes myself), and tried to be as casual as possible, and they were a bit quiet, but they're washing up after themselves after lunch now, so hopefully it will be ok...

Thanks for the moral support people!

oh and one last thing - re the flies - this is out in the country, so there are flies around just generally doing their thing pollinating the garden - we haven't got round to making flyscreens yet for the windows. So flies on dishes is not quite the unimaginably filthy situation it would be in the middle of a sterile apartment block. But I don't particularly feel like encouraging the flies to visit the kitchen!

Hoorah - well done for biting the bullet. Hope things improve!

Just give them paper plates to eat off - saves any washing up.

aw - friendship is a beautiful thing! glad you told them.

Glad you got sorted OP!