Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Have just dropped my daughter off at her friend's house, myself and other mum had different ideas about how long the playdate would last!

16 replies

onthepier · 06/08/2009 11:32

My dd was invited to a friend's house, they're new to the area and she hasn't been there before. The arrangements were made by text and her friend's mum suggested I drop her off at 10.30 ish, to play and stay for lunch.

I already had plans for this afternoon, (a get-together with other friends), and asked what time I should collect her. The other mum said, "Oh, around 4 pm if OK with you!"

I felt a bit bad then, saying I'd have to pick her up very soon after lunch as we had plans, am picking her up at 1.30.

This lady seemed fine about it, but I wonder if her child could be disappointed now. When the invitation was for lunch, I assumed she'd prob like my dd picked up soon after but obv not! AIBU to pick her up straight after lunch, or would some of you delay this afternoon's plans and give them a longer play?

OP posts:

belgo · 06/08/2009 11:33

3 hours is plenty long enough for a playdate. Don't worry.

Overmydeadbody · 06/08/2009 11:34

No the other child won't be disappointed, they don't really have much concept of time or how long something has lasted.

CarGirl · 06/08/2009 11:35

Depends on how old they are? As they get older playdates in the holidays do tend to be most of the day IME.

Don't feel bad though you weren't to know.

GrimmaTheNome · 06/08/2009 11:40

3 hours seems plenty for a first visit, whatever the age. I think the other mum was just being accommodating - it can be quite handy to get rid of your DC for quite a long time in the hols.

lal123 · 06/08/2009 11:42

DD1 is having a sleepover at a friends tonight - I'd been planning on dropping her off around 6pm and picking her up tomorrow lunchtime.... Friends mum asked for her to be dropped off this am (9am!) and is keeping her til tomorrow 4.30 - hurray!!

curiositykilled · 06/08/2009 11:46

What's a playdate?

I would've said at the time - "sorry, is that really OK? I have plans already this afternoon and I stupidly assumed you'd want rid of her after lunch, lol, sorry, I should've asked before."

skihorse · 06/08/2009 12:18

It's not even worth worrying about.

MamaKaty · 06/08/2009 12:34

Particularly for a first play-date it's best keeping it short and sweet,
Just remember to clarify a pick up time when you return the invite!

franklymydear · 06/08/2009 12:39

she was being accomodating that's all - she doesn't care if your child stays till 4 or not to be honest and you won't be offending her by picking her up earlier

don't worry about it

SixtyFootDoll · 06/08/2009 12:47

Dont worry about it, there ar eno rules how long a child should stay for!

LouMacca · 06/08/2009 13:04

I'd expect a playdate to last either the morning or the a.noon, not most of the day. I wouldn't worry and agree its best to keep it short and sweet anyway as its the first time.

Original poster

onthepier · 06/08/2009 19:57

Thanks for your posts, I picked my dd up at the time arranged, which seemed fine. She'd coming up for 7 now, which I suppose is when playdates start to last longer, instead of the allotted 2/3 hours which I've been used to!

OP posts:

raindroprhyme · 06/08/2009 20:11

my rule with playdates is leave them as long as you are willing to have their child in return.
my ds has a frineds whose mum would have them all day but i am less tolerant and can only cope for 3/4 hours tops.

got to the point where i had to explain this to the mum out right she now gets it and asks only occasionally to have him for a long play date.

islandofsodor · 06/08/2009 20:14

I on the other hand would expect a playdate in the holidays to last all day and all of dd's so far has.

Then again her school friends live a fair distance away so it wouldn't necessarily be worth it for a shorter time.

OrmIrian · 06/08/2009 20:17

I would assume a playdate was all day in the holidays. Well from 10ish till late afternoon at that sort of age. But I wouldn't have been offended if that was't the case.

southernbelle77 · 06/08/2009 21:06

I'm sure the mum wasn't offended but it's good to know that she would have had your dc longer!

DD (5) had a playdate today. She was collected at 9.30am and dropped back at 5.30pm! It was lovely! However, it is only her best friend who I would probably do this with as I know friends mum and she is happy to have her all day and I am happy to have her dd all day in return (and will be soon). Most of her other friends I think I would find hard to have all day as I don't know them so well and she isn't such good friends with them so not sure they would last playing nicely all day!

Flip