to wonder if I should just say 'sod it' and plug DS#s into his X-box permanently and stop him bothering anybody else

[OrmIrian]

Posted this on the end of the officious parky thread but I want to know what you think.

Just to prove a point re older kids, DS#1 and his mates have just been 'moved on' by the police They were skating at the back of the soon-to-be-demolished swimming pool. The police told them jocularly that they were 'cleaning them up'. And when they asked were they could skate they were told 'that's not my problem'. There are no places left where they are allowed to do this now.

We already had a letter from the local community police about a yr ago telling us that children are not permitted to play in the street (a cul de sac).

If he goes to the park he apparently will annoy parents of LOs

What can I say to him? It seems that he is less troublesome to society plugged in to his X-Box

My very small town is pretty lucky - we have a skate park, a youth centre (assorted games consoles, music studio, pool tables etc plus organised activities on the river/football, leisure centre with unlimited use for under 21's for 20 quid over the summer, and a community cinema/theatre which is cheap and runs drama and street dance workshops over the summer.

When I was a teen, growing up in a town of similar size, all there was to do was to go to the outdoor pool. Or swim in the river - much as we were forbidden to

CMOT, your area sounds fab.
Sometimes think we didn't do DS1 any favours by moving out of London when he was seven.
At least there he had loads of mates within walking distance, and two commons to hang out on, but maybe it's no better there.
Re. the toddlers at the skatepark: I suppose being a rural area the kids haven't really been able to learn; maybe in a few years' time those toddlers will be on boards using the park as it's meant to be used.

OrmIrian- it does make you wonder why a person who hates to see children enjoying themselves buys a house next to a school playing field and in a cul-de-sac that is bound to attract young families.

It's a cultural thing and really sad. Here (Australia) teenagers are still viewed as "kids" and are expected to be out and about playing sport (lots of ovals/playing fields everywhere) or riding their bikes (lots of cycle tracks and endless bush to off-road in) or on their skateboards. My 15 year old regularly skates on the streets with his mates and has never said they have been told off. If kids are out of order any passing stranger will go "oy, not on" and the kids generally go "ok then". Because the adults aren't intimidated by the kids or view them with suspicion, the kids respond positively to the adults. It's not perfect, but with three kids raising them in a country where people don't treat children as a massive inconvenience helps.

orm that's awful, really feel for you both

it's so unfair this stereotyping

This is terrible, especially as you live in the SW, which was in my teenage years a relaxed place. I think you should get onto the police community support/liason/whatever it is called. You need to get them to say where is ok for your son and others to play. They are citizens as well. This is not good enough.

I think society gets the children it deserves. It does annoy me when parents of younger children seem to view teens as some alien species.

No, they are continuum of YOUR child. I think I can see the (lovely) boy my 8 year old will become - occasionally noisy, thoughtless, hanging out in a group and getting in peoples way - but still a boy. I think that's why I don't feel intimidated by most teenage boys.

Totally agree with sunnydelight. If we give children too much power, it confuses them. Who is in charge ?

I am hoping DSs will want to remain with the Scouting movement as they get older. We live in inner London, and they are Sea Scouts (!), so the older ones get to do sailing, kayaking etc. They are a great bunch of teenagers.

I'm trying to look ahead with DS2 who's 8. Have got him on the waiting list for Cubs (he hasn't wanted to go before as he didn't know anyone but now goes to school locally).

DS1 loved Beavers in London but there was no pack when we moved here, and as he got old enough for Scouts, again wouldn't go because he had no local friends to go with.

I wonder what the situation is for girls? I'm guessing it's a bit easier for them as they're not seen as such a threat.

I suppose I'll soon find out, as DD is 11.

OuLady yes, I live in a London borough that has large areas of social deprivation, and I can see that partly as a result of high-profile problems with knife and gun crime, the Council provides a lot more for teenagers to do.

Of course, all teens (especially black) are viewed with suspicion, even fear, as a result of these problems. It worries me because this alienates/depresses the well-behaved ones, and gives those at risk of going off the rails an excuse to feel powerful.

My brother and his friends (all around 24 now so 12ish years ago) used to cycle for miles to see each other - my brother used to do so with a skate board strapped to his back. Would something like that be an issue.
Threads like this make me dread 10 years time when the DSs are this age.
Hopefully they'll be like their Dad and Gdad and go fishing and stuff.

Thanks for all your responses. It feels odd to be a parent of a child who, in large part, is funny, caring and considerate, but who appears to be a terrifying antisocial thug to others simply because of his age and the fact he is out of doors without me or DH. When he went on a camping trip with his school in July the teachers were complimented several times on the pupils' behaviour.

I know exactly how you feel OrmIrian.
DS is mature beyond his years,polite, gets excellent reports from school, specially about his behaviour. Was a lower school house captain last year, got an award from scouts because of his volunteer work with the cubs and his attitude as a scout etc yet the old -bag- on the estate tells everyone his is a really nasty boy

That s awful - people complain that kids arnt active and on computors all days but take away the option to exercise and be outdoors? - outrage!!!