I know I probably am, I know lots of people wish their mums were about, I know lots of people wish their mums were involved, I know but am feeling so and annoyed!
Bit of background so as not to be accused of AIBU by stealth!
Had a difficult childhood, abusive father, scatty mother! Always loved us always knew that, but a bit mad to start and made worse by my dad, never protected us or did the responsible mum things
She finally left him when I was 15 and brother was 13, running away to another country with my little sis who was 6, and never coming back, I only saw them both again 3 years later when I could afford to get myself there
Over the years she has been completely barking at times, and not so bad at others, and seems to have mellowed as she has got older, she is now 62 and relatively fit (other than being overweight lazy smoker who is a bit of a hypochondriac), and I know she loves me and cares about me, and she adores my DD's (age 7 and 19 months).
She lives about a 3 hour drive away and we probably see her every few months or so, she doesnt do much to help!
My life is a mess at the moment, really hard, my abusive ex seems to get worse the longer we are apart, he is financially ruining me, and I can see the affect it is all having on DD1
Anyway, I ask her is she would mind coming down in the school holidays for a week to help me with childcare, but also to see us as we havent seen her for over 3 months!
So amidst much humming and haaing she agrees, she doesnt work and doesnt go out much and readily agrees she does nothing much at home, she has a cat who a friend looks after and brings her dog with her!
So she comes, and TBH I wish she hadnt, she has spent most of the week sat outside in the garden smoking and reading (no smoking in my house allowed), moaning as to how she tired she is (not sure why she hasnt got up early with kids once or done much to help TBH).
Unfortunately ex has really been playing up, he is always worse when I have someone here helping/supporting me,I only work 2 and a half days, the one day ex played up and came and got the kids depsite refusing to help previously, so she has really only had them one and a half days!
She hasnt done much to help in the house but lots of complaining and saying she wished she could help more
Anyway have pretty much gritted my teeth, we had a lovely day out yesterday,she managed to upset DD1 by telling her not to be mean to mummy (which I was less than impressed by as DD1 is blaming herself for the marriage breakup, me and ex fighting in fact just about everything )
I somehow managed to mess my dates up and thought my best friend was off work this week, buyt she isnt so am now stuck for childcare for DD1 tomorrow, so asked mum if she would stay an extra day (she was going home today as ex has taken the girls off for the day)and maybe wed morning so I could pop into work and do some extra in the morning to try and boost my income a bit!
She was less than keen pulled a face and said she didnt like to leave the cat any longer I tend to get very defensive when I ask for help because I hate to do it, so just said not too bother and she would have to come to work with me then (a very long boring day for her)
SO I have now been phoning all DD1's friends I can think of to see if anyone can have her , DD2 CM cant as she is at her max numbers already, best friends mother may be able to help
And all she has done this morning is moan how she wishes she could help more (well she can if she stayed another night but seems her cat is more important than her grand daughter), and how long her drive home is (its not that long and she doesnt have to anything when she gets home)!
I know IABU to "expect" her to help, but I cant help feeling very disappointed sad and annoyed that she doesnt "want" to help more