Friendships across the age barrier- AIBU?

[duchesse]

This is a spin off from another thread that's become a bit silly. Anyway, I happened to mention on that thread that as a 41 yr old I had genuine friends aged between 16 and 80+. One particular poster has taken great exception to my being friends with my now mature and "sorted" god-daughter and doesn't understand what on earth I would find to have in common with her. Interesting though that it seems to be OK to have friends 40+ years older.

I think that friendships do not have to be with people exactly the same age and with the same interests, and that we learn from our friends all the time. I learn from my 16 yr old god daughter as much as she learns from me. I don't presume that because I am 25 years older than her that I know more than her about everything.

So my contention is that it is perfectly possible to have friends who are wildly different in age to oneself, and not to consider age a barrier to a potential new friendship. AIBU?

I was recently accused of being in the early stages of a mid-life crisis because some of my friends are 18-25ish, friends of my own not my teenage daughters that is although I enjoy their company too. Yet nobody thinks it's odd that I also socialise with people in their 50s and 60s as well as with my actual peers (I'm 38). I just like people.

When I was 24 I had a friend of 21 who really found it an issue that I was "so much older" than her. She used to refer to me as being much older than her a lot. My boyfriend at the time (now husband) is 7 years older than me and she really, really couldn't cope with being friends with him at all. When we all did pub quiz and there was a question about 60s music or something she would turn to dh and say "Oh you'll know this one", not being catty or deliberately silly, just that to her he was 'dad age' and a grown up and so therefore must have been around for ever.

She had very interesting age issues. I always wanted to delve into them but never had the opportunity and we've drifted a bit now.

Strange to put so much store in being young when it's inevitable that you won't always be. I wonder how she feels about how old she is now?

I find it really strange when people say they are not friends with someone because they "have nothing in common" why would anyone want their friends to be the same as them? I have found life to be far more interesting since I developed friendships with a more diverse group of people ( after years working in a profession dominated by the white middle classes where I had no time or opportunity to meet many people)

My mother is 45, and classes many of my 17/18/19 year old friends as her friends. She's happy to sit and chat with them of rhours, and values our views and opinions. I have bee nasked for advice by my 26 and 35 year old friends, and enoy being with older and younger people.
I don't think it matters, as long as youre happy with your friendship group, age shouldn't present an issue.
your goddaughter sounds fab btw

i must admit that my friends are mostly my age because i met them at school and uni.when i was pregnaant i joined the nct and was the youngest at 28. the eldest was 40. i had never had an older friend and wondered how it would work.how ridiculous of me..she is perfectly lovely and i don't see the age difference at all now.she is just 'a friend'..
it's silly to put obstacles in the way of potential frienship.

however,it does concern me when i see a guy that's obviously a lot older,say, in his 20's hanging around with school kids.i think,'why is he hanging round with a bunch of kids?'we all probably know the answer to that though

YANBU. I think becoming a parent in particular puts you into contact with people you might not normally have socialised with and gives you a common ground even if you have nothing "in common" as people - when I had DS (aged 26), I made friends with a 17 year old mum at a baby group, and a 40 year old mum through the NCT. The latter is one of my closest friends now. I also have friends much older than this, mainly through work, as well as those my own age.