to stop sponsoring people unless they are doing it to actually raise money for a relevant cause?

[amidaiwish]

I am getting so fed up with the constant requests for sponsorship.
Most people are approaching 40, putting on weight they can't shift so sign up for the latest fun run to motivate them to lose a bit of weight.
So they decide/have to raise money to do it.
So they set up a sponsorship page and hound people for money.

Why don't they just pay themselves... or do some activities to raise money and donate it.

Don't get me wrong, for relevant causes to the person doing it or real challenges i am more than happy to sponsor. when i know they are doing it to actually raise needed funds.

the latest is a group of friends walking through london together one night. i mean, what kind of a challenge is that?

so, AIBU?

eyeballs "if you don't want to donate then just say so"

so stop sending me an e-mail every few days until i do donate. just one email is sufficient, if i donate great. if i don't, leave me be!

With you, amidaiwish. In my years raising cash for Cancer Research, it's got so much easier now you can raise money online - you just send an email with a link and maybe a reminder just before the event. I never bug people (at least, I hope I don't!).

I'm always grateful if anyone donates; I certainly don't expect them to.

Corflakegirl - I use cakes to raise money and it's very effective.

a friend did a breast cancer research coffee morning the other week
baked some cakes with pink icing
had us round for coffee after school drop off.
i gave £10, happily.

i'd much rather that than a "i am going to walk 10 miles for charity, such hardship for me, so difficult, so at least donate"... rather than "i've signed up to a challenge to motivate myself to lose some weight and if you'd like to sponsor me in aid of xx that would be great"

anyway, i'm repeating myself so i'll stop!

Actually I agree YANBU. I am doing the Jane Tomlinson 10k tomorrow in York. I am doing it as a challenge to myself and to motivate me to get out and run, to get fit and lose weight. Apart from the entry fee I've not asked anyone for sponsorship. I did when I did the Race for life 3 years ago, cos that was a big thing for me then as I hadn't done much running before then.

I also get annoyed with these 'trek in the Andes' etc trips. I saved up, went travelling for a year and did just that. It was a fantastic year. I paid for it all myself. I wouldn't have thought about asking anyone else to give me money for it....

Well I can see both sides of this. I cannot bear the cycling through south america, walking the wall of china - so give me some money- bog off!

But I have done a fair bit of fundraising for ClicSargent. I also ask that people donate on DD's birthday etc. I think they are a worthwhile cause who give help at a grassroots level. No messing, no forms - your child has just been diagnosed with cancer? Here have some money.

I have also done the race for life quiet a lot of times but have gone off it. I prefer the women's challenge in Hyde park.

I usually sponser people if I can but I tend to do it if its a cancer charity. I know its a bit selfish but I cannot really think of anything else as being as important anymore.

I object to the generic emails I get from people who have my email address because I went on a hen do with them 5 years ago!

I am doing a mile swim in Lake Windermere in Sept and I intend only to ask close friends or relatives for sponsorship for a local children's hospice. I will NOT send emails to anyone I have ever met.

I completely understand all messages. You should only do what feels right. Some people feel moved to 'do' something' to raise money. Some people feel motivated to give money without other people 'doing' something. Some people just don't want to.

However, as someone who now works for a charity, my perspective has changed a bit from before.

For some reason, many people feel more motivated to give money if someone they know is putting some sort of effort into asking for it. Great, for those who do. Bit awkward when they ask people who don't agree, but they still tend to bring in a great deal - and the money spent by the charity on 't-shirts', promotion, etc, is a 'spend to accumulate' angle...as the money that comes in from this sort of activity is far greater than the spend, and means that we are then enabled to carry on with the serious work we need to.

Relying on just the kind people who choose to donate without being prompted would mean that many of our activities would stop. End of.

For those who donate whatever way, thanks on behalf of all charities.

For those who feel annoyed, I understand. But the 'bugging' of accidental annoyed people is outweighed by those who decide to donate.

And the charity that I work for benefits many, many people who will never know that much of those funds came from people who chose to do 'non-effort' things, but by doing so raised money that we wouldn't have got otherwise.

Thanks, to all those who do active/passive/accidental fundraising. (And to the person who felt they were supporting 'passively' charities they would never otherwise support...none of us ever know whether we are suddenly in a position due to ourselves or family/friends, where we would feel more 'actively' involved.)

I don't mind sponsoring people, if i have the money i will do it if i haven't then i wont. I do expect those people to sponsor me though! I do a lot for charity as my DS has CF so i do things for them and also the local charity that supports famililes with children with life limiting conditions becuase they have helped us out financially and the emotional support from them has been amazing!

I also do postpals becuase DS is a Pal and i have seen first hand how a letter through the door while he is in hospital or feeling poorly can make him smile.

As soon as the children are older im going to do a huge trek somewhere that will challenge me and i will pay my own entrace fee.

Forgot to add.

The thing that does annoy me as when some friendly person has knocked on my door at night asking me to donate £2 a month, i feel tight saying no but all the £2s add up eventually!

It was me who talked about 'passively' supporting charities that I would not normally choose to support - I was talking about breast cancer charities and Cancer Research UK. Partly for the reasons given by Belle previously (ie, that it is already tremendously well funded and high profile), and partly because the way Cancer Research (the body) allocates its funding makes me angry. When my mother was dying of lung cancer, her oncologist told her that Cancer Research UK allocates less than 2 per cent of its funding to lung cancer treatments. For a cancer that is still the UK's biggest cancer killer (I think?), that's a fucking disgrace.

So, I've put some thought into my position! You're right, I could be affected by breast cancer one day, and if that happens I'll be tremendously glad of all the advances made in breast cancer treatment. I'm already grateful for those advances - why wouldn't I be? But I'm far more likely, statistically speaking, to be affected by lung cancer or bowel cancer, neither of which have anything like the profile or the funding.

Hi policywonk. Understand your position, and I'm sorry to hear about your mother.

You may not know that other charities are putting effort into supporting those affected by all cancers. And they campaign for the rights for those affected by all cancers, including rarer cancers that most people haven't even heard of, to be acknowledged and funded. The reason why breast cancer charities are so well funded are due, partly, because of the groundswell of voices and support by those who are affected.

I am sure from your posts that you may well be adding to those voices. High-profile cancers do well from funding because of that groundswell ...other cancers need the voice to grow, and can't do so without funding and support!

I do feel quite guilty about this because my lovely sister had breast Ca but I get a bit when I go on runs etc and there are MILLIONS of people from Breast Cancer charities.

On one I did you couldnt move for various Breast Ca charities. They were everywhere.

Great for them and they obviously put the work in. It does feel like they are the only cause sometimes though.

I feel torn because I think they are a great cause. But I feel a bit like policywonk in that I feel others are missing out.

ClicSargent, Teenage Cancer Trust, much smaller cancer specific orgs that battle for cash.

But of course I am biased and I understand that.

That's interesting about other charities campaigning, pombear. I know my mother's oncologist wanted to set up a lung cancer charity (with subtle differences to the Roy Castle charity) - I don't know whether he's done it yet though.

It's difficult with lung cancer because the public disapproval is so vocal and harsh (my mother was a lifelong smoker). I'm sure that's one of the reasons why Cancer Research UK gives so little to lung cancer treatment - people would withdraw their donations if they knew that lots of money was going to lung cancer research. It amazes me that people can be so vindictive about a terminal illness, but they are.

Cervical cancer gets a few s too. Thanks to its 'connection' to promescuity.

Nice huh?

Policywonk, I don't know whether people would withdraw their donations - most of us know someone affected by lung cancer, and most of us know how difficult it is to live a life 'pure and righteous'. Most of us would wish to see all cancers treated - and with more and more research done in terms of lifestyle factors and risk of cancer, it will become more difficult to point the finger just at smokers. Many of us do stuff that someone, one day, may tell us led our bodies to ill health.

It may be just that lung cancer is such a vicious and difficult cancer to treat once it has taken hold, that there are more benefits and fast 'wins' to be had by tackling other cancers that don't affect such a key organ in our bodies.

I'm off to bed, so please don't think I'm withdrawing from the debate, but I wish you well, and please do get involved in campaigning for better treatment and research if you feel up to it - don't forget, that's the only reason why breast cancer charities are doing so well. It's not 'cos they're 'fashionable', they just had that 'groundswell', like I said before.

And chegirl, I don't think that cervical cancer gets that reaction because of promiscuity - it's more that people are squeamish about 'women's bits'. Try talking to people about vulval or penile cancer - not many people who'll buy into charities for that!

Bowel cancer is only coming out of the shadows recently, as people are more comfortable finally with talking about those 'bits'.

We still get the 'fear factor' in talking about cancer per se, so the barriers and doors still take a lot of breaking down!

I regularly give to cancer, asthma, MS, autism and epilepsy.

I feel charity fatigue when somebody knocks on the door and askss for money for St Kevin's under fifteen five a aside or something like that.....

Goodnight pombear and thanks

Unfortunately you don't have to look too far for evidence that people are incredibly judgemental about certain diseases, especially when they are related to addiction. People feel quite free on here to say that smokers who develop lung cancer should not have NHS treatment, or that they're doing the country a favour by dying early - a sentiment that would never, ever be expressed about a 'blameless' cancer like breast cancer. I've heard some really foul views expressed on radio phone-ins too.

And che is right about cervical cancer too - there was some pretty off-colour stuff written about Jade Goody when she was diagnosed.

As to everyone knowing someone who's been affected by lung cancer - this is probably true, but one thing I realised when Mam was ill: a lot of people who have lung cancer don't tell people that that's what they've got, because of the stigma. Many of the people my mother met at the hospital were telling all but their nearest and dearest that they had other forms of cancer.

The think I don't like , and maybe IABU about this, is when people ask you to sponsor them, so you fill in the form...and then they expect you to give them the money there and then,BEFORE they've even done the event.

I'm mainly talking about the 'x amount of £ per mile/lap/whatever'...what if they don't do the whole lot? perhaps I'm selfish as it IS for charidee, but if I sponsor someone per mile for a marathon, why should I give them £26 if they then only manage 10 miles? I just seems the norm these days to ask for the money upfront, and I feel to mean to say, 'actually, I'd rather wait to see how many miles you actually do before I pay'. Isn't that the point?

pombear, thanks for your input. One question/issue i have always had about charities is this: if they are all fighting for the same end-goal/cause, why are there so many e.g. breast cancer charities. The cost of actually running these charities are massive. So why don't they all join forces and massively reduce their running costs?

i am probably being over simplistic but that question has always bugged me.

YANBU.

I have no problem at all in sponsoring good friends who are raising money for charity.

What I do dislike is when children knock on my door and ask me to sponsor them inevitably doing something fairly mundane and inevitably the "cause" is actually not a registered charity but their local school.

Don't get me wrong I was chair of my childrens pta for many years and know how hard it is to raise funds. However I would never let my children knock on doors asking for sponsorships to me it equates to begging.

What about asking for money for charity in lieu of gifts?

We did this for my son's naming ceremony and raised £500 for a local children's hospice - we felt this was a much better use of our friends' money than them buying more presents/clothes/trinkets for our DS (which they inevitably would have done anyway).

Do people get annoyed by this too?

I totally agree with the fancy holidays one too, btw - if you want to go trekking in the Andes you can pay for it!

I would have no problem with the donation to charity in lieu of gifts as I would be donating the money that I would have spent on a gift anyway. With strangers/neighbours kids it is extra money that I wouldn't be spending so that is more annoying.

Fair 'nuff!

Just didn't want to think I'd offended any of my guests .

I'm usually quite happy to get these requests and normally quite happy to sponsor people if it is a proper cause (i.e. something I believe is useful) and most importantly ALL the money goes to the charity. I refuse to sponsor people on holidays where a significant % goes on their holiday.

I'm busy, and haven't got the time or energy to do a charity event myself. As such I'm willing to sponsor those that do.

It's also quite useful at work for keeping the secretaries on side