to be slightly disappointed

[Jenice]

Been with DP for 3 years this weekend and wee have a beautiful DS who is nearly 1.

We have a good relationship, not that we haven't had our ups and downs in the past. We have talked a lot about getting married in the last wee while and I think it is just a given that we will soon. Neither one of us has done the proposal thing though.

Anyway my disappointment is that my "official" engagement ring arrived today and he was all "Well you might as well just have it now." I feel like I've missed out on the proposal that I always imagined I would get and that moment IYKWIM. Probably watched too many romatic films over the years so had too many expectations. I mean, its not like he didn't know what my answer would be.

Reading this back I think i may be unreasonable but doesn't make it feel like any less of an anti-climax.

I kicked DH out of bed, starkers, in the middle of the night to get him to go down on one knee, so I kinda understand your feeling of slight anti-climax. Will it bother you for long, do you think, or will you get over it quite fast?

Aw bless you. Nowt wrong with feeling a little disappointed about the non-proposal. If it makes you feel any better, DH and I agreed we may as well get married, driving back from somewhere on the M25!

Have yourselves a party and celebrate with your friends, that'll make you feel better and a bit special for the evening!

We have been married 18 years on Monday, so if anything, it proves you don't need the fireworks and flowers, to make a marriage any better!

Congratualtions, btw!

What do you mean "arrived"? Had you alreayd been out shopping together and chosen it and done all of that bit?

God men are crap sometimes,mine was not a romantic proposal either but then my OH is not romantic in the slightest.

You could say to him..."oh i can't wait to see how you are going to actually propose to me"! Then watch him struggle to think about it.

OldLady, I'm sure I'll get over it but this is going to sound ridiculous but I would love to have some romantic story to tell our children in the future. I know people close to us will ask how it happened. God I must be hormonal or something.

Maureen, thank you and that does make me feel better Guess its not all about "the moment."

A party sounds like a good idea.

It doesn't help though that this being a special milestone of a day and what can I hear..... DP snoring through the baby monitor!! who said romance was dead???

Pointy, it arrived today cos we ordered it online a couple of weeks ago during one of those "I suppose we should order your ring, you pick cos you know what you'd like" conversations. I say conversation I mean passing comment!

But you must have got to the point of deciding you would get married if you ordered a ring. Must admit, I'd feel daft saying 'will you marry me' if we'd already bought a ring.

I know what you mean about wanting a romantic story, but mine is good for taking the piss out of DH in front of the DCs. (25 years, btw - the "romance" thing isn't that big a deal - unless you let it be.)

How about you propose to him in the overblown fantasy of your dreams? It'd still make a good story for the family.

Oh dear me, yes I know how you are feeling. My dh proposed to me after years of pleading with him on my behalf (in itself not very romantic) by pre-arrangement in a car in a layby overlooking Chesterfield. He did not do the one knee thing which is ok, but he did do a long preamble along the lines of "I won't be able to give you what you want in life", which was not.

But hey, we celebrated 15 years of marriage yesterday so all is not yet lost.

I'm going to go with just saying to our families and friends that we made it official and plan to get married next year by mutual decision and get over "the moment" thing. Also going to arrange a wee celebration party cos its the people around you that makes these milestones in life special. Getting philosophical now so better go to bed with Mr Snore!

Thank you for making me feel better

The thing is, with today's business of living together, buying a house together, having babies together, marriage just gets overlooked and by the time many people think 'ok then let's get married', a lot of the excitement has gone really, in teh sense that it isn't going to change anything.

Dumble and OldLady, I guess the best marriages start with a strange or non-existant proposal as you can both testify to

Night night

Night, night, Jenice - and congratulations.

DH and I always wanted to get hitched eventually..we were already living together when I found out I was pregnant we decided we better get married ..he did do a proposal after i gave him the look ..he didn't have a ring so he made one out of a polo wrapper (well impressive) ..but it was sweet and funny..it's not about the proposal..so don't worry..we have been married 8yrs in September ..together since college.

Congratulations

Agree. Tomorrow (make that today, just saw the time!) will be our 17th wedding anniversary. We didn't have 'The Moment' we just sort of decided mutually that we would get married. I don't even know who mentioned marriage first, probably DH. I did feel like you, that I had missed out on a special experience, and I actually made him 'formally' propose to me whilst we were walking along a beach one evning on holiday in Greece-I thought this would be romantic, but it all seemed rather naff & pointless when he actually did it. Just enjoy your party, that will be special too!

My DP says he will marry me when I propose to him

dp and I have been together 20 years in the autumn. engaged for 19 years, no wedding yet as apparently he only asked if I wanted to get engaged!
Actually my proposal went like this. 'ere, I have some money, you wanna buy yourself an engagement ring in your lunch hour tomorrow. All said in the wonderful area of his shit tip car, in the pitch black that is 11pm in his dads drive. how could I resist.