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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think this GP is a total idiot!!!

247 replies

ButterflEi · 31/07/2009 13:30

hello

so i went to see one of the GPs in my practice today as i am wanting to take control of my weight issues and was looking for advice.

the GP asked me general questions about lifestyle etc and what i eat on an average day which i answered thinking to myself that finally i was going to get somewhere (i have struggled with my weight since i was about 15, im now 27). he said he would refer me to a dietician but that could take a matter of months for that referral to materialise.

the conversation went as follows:

me: so can you help with what i should do in the meantime??
idiot GP: i would sggest restricting your diet as much as possible
me: ok...meaning what??
GP: dont eat
me: huh? you mean eat less??
GP: no dont eat
me: dont eat??
GP: yes dont eat. excercise and dont eat.
me: is that not called ANOREXIA??
GP: no it is a medically sanctioned diet plan
me: no it is called anorexia...thanks for nowt.

i then stormed out in a bit of a huff and went home. i have since called the surgery and made another appointment with a different (nice lady) doctor for later today!!

i just wondered if IABU to think that doctor is a complete incompetent arse or is my fat addling my brain??

OP posts:
LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 31/07/2009 19:16

Everytime you see yourself in front of a weightloss pill or weightloss book or patch just think "if it worked everyone would be doing it" and walk away.

Paolosgirl · 31/07/2009 19:18

Yes, next time I'll ask a friendly health professional.

Oh no, wait - he'll tell me to stop eating altogether

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 31/07/2009 19:20

There are other health professionals apart from doctors, in fact there are better qualified to talk about nutrition health professionals, and the OP has been referred to one.

StealthPolarBear · 31/07/2009 19:21

if this had been patronising and crap breastfeeding advice (heaven forbid!) we'd all have been up in arms!

Paolosgirl · 31/07/2009 19:22

Yes, but in the meantime, the GP could have been less flippant and more helpful.

StealthPolarBear · 31/07/2009 19:22

not saying "well there are bfcs out there, go to one" I mean

Paolosgirl · 31/07/2009 19:25

Good post, Stealth

You can just imagine -

"Well, give it up then" or "other people don't find it hard" or "formula is there to make your life easier, you know". Can you imagine the MN furore?!

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 31/07/2009 19:25

actually I would feel the same about b/f advice SPB, it's about knowing which health professionals to target about which problems. You really can't expect GPs to know everything.

StealthPolarBear · 31/07/2009 19:29

really Libras?? Fair enough then. My attitude is that GPs should be the first point of contact and should know enough to refer you (which he did) and not provide crap advice in the meantime. I work in the NHS and yet am still surprised at the number and types of HCPs out there - wouldn't have a clue who to ask for some things. When I had a +ve pg test I went to see my GP who shooed me out to see the MW - I just assumed a GP appt would be the first step

Morloth · 31/07/2009 19:32

My stats come from having gotten into body building in order to lose over 75kgs of fat (not weight fat). It is pretty widely accepted in those groups and by all of the trainers I have met that it is about 3,500 calories to one pound of fat.

Being snarky/dismissive/rude and patronising to fat people does not help them. You know what works? Gentle encouragement, telling them that they are not useless blobs who have no value because their bodies have excess stored energy. Because after hearing that you are nothing but fat and disgusting for a while, you believe it and you know what makes you feel better? Food.

Kindness costs nothing, the GP in the OP could have said, "Try to watch your portions and get out and stretch a bit". Yes, this is something the OP should know, but really would it have cost the GP any effort at all to show a bit of kindness rather than sarcasm?

I had to see a dietician to help me get the fat off, I am an intelligent woman but I needed a bit of help, why is that so hard to understand?

moondog · 31/07/2009 19:32

The point is that breastfeeding has a massive impact on someone else's life. Someone who is tiny and vulnerable and has no say in the matter.
By and large, weight loss issues are about the individual.
In no way can one be compared to another.

StealthPolarBear · 31/07/2009 19:35

only in that if you go for advice the general rule should be "help, don't patronise"

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 31/07/2009 19:37

SPB I meant I would have expected the GP to say your next bf clinic is but wouldn't expect him to give me b/f advice IYSWIM.

StealthPolarBear · 31/07/2009 19:41

but if he was asked (say "my milk's not enough as she's feeding every 3 hours") would you expect him to say
"that's newborns for ya, stop wingeing"
or
"that's normal but it will get better"
or even
"well that may indicate a problem but I have to admit I don't know a lot about it"
?

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 31/07/2009 19:44

If we are comparing situations then the person would ask the doc a b/f question, he would tell her where she could get professional correct advice, she persisted and he then said " that's newborns for ya, stop whinging" firstly he may have a point and secondly he had already told her where she could get proper advice.

moondog · 31/07/2009 19:51

What you need to do 'in the meantime' with breastfeeding is very different to what you need to do 'in the meantime' while waiting for a dietician's appt [which you don't even need in the first place more often than not].

In the latter case it was 'exercise and eat less' and that is the advice she was given.

StealthPolarBear · 31/07/2009 19:53

so is the crux of the matter that she was asking what to do in the meantime? I would argue that any question, no matter if it seems a bit obvious should be answered respectfully

Paolosgirl · 31/07/2009 20:14

Exactly - she asked what she could do in the meantime, showing a willingness and a desire to help herself. Any GP should welcome that and encourage that by not giving some stupid, flippant advice.

Now, the advice was not "eat less" - it was "stop eating". That's just stupid.

babyball · 31/07/2009 20:40

YANBU. IMO the GP is paid to give people advice about issues that will help improve their general health. It doesn't matter if that is smoking, drinking, drug-taking, obesity or too much contact sport! Seeing as obesity apparently causes all of these health problems and costs the NHS so much, help should be given to the obese in the same way as smokers. Getting a bit sick of fatty-bashing on MN forums TBH. I have been on both sides of the fence, from exercising obsessively (at least 1 and a half hours a day), eating an apple for dinner and being dangerously underweight, to being overweight, and recently obese. Currently two weeks from due date with my first baby and have not put any weight on throughout the pregnancy. This is something that is a complex issue and simplistic shite like "get over it" etc is not helpful. You can mock people who mention self-esteem issues if you wish, but growing up in a family where this is the main way you're judged does not help. The passing over of obese/overweight people in the workplace is an issue as well. This seems to affect women much more than men.

BTW moondog, I have seen your posts on a few weight-loss/ obesity forums, telling us fatties to "get over it", "eat less" etc. Is this a personal bugbear of yours? It seems to make you rather angry.

ButterflEi · 31/07/2009 21:15

looks like i opened a can of worms here

for all who (IMO rudely) have asked me if i am basically stupid for looking for advice on an issue that i have (on numerous occaisions) tried to take control of and failed, thanks for your opinions. i will put it in the box in my mind where my oh so lovely GP's advice is now stored. it is not helpful to point out my failings. i know i am fat, i know i have failed to stay healthy, i know that GPs may not be the font of all medical knowledge. my point is that my particular GP advised me to do somthing very stupid in order to lose weight. i asked him what else i can do and he gave me duff advice. i feel the need to repeat I DIDNT MISUNDERSTAND, HE WAS ALSO NOT BEING SARCASTIC. HE CLEARLY BELIEVED THAT STOPPING EATING TOTALLY WOULD 'SOLVE' MY PROBLEM.
i have no desire to starve myself, but i am really serious about losing the weight that has been such a struggle for me to try to lose. i shouldnt feel embarrassed about visiting a HCP for advice when ALL diet sheets/magazines/online advice tell you to consult your GP before partaking in any diet and excercise plans
moondog i find your particular brand of 'help' quite frankly insulting (i suspect that is your aim). i do not have a learning disability and it is NOT as simple as dont eat and move more. if it was that simple do you not think i, as a sensible woman, would have figured that out already?? i have a low (for my height and weight) calorie diet, i rarely eat fried foods/biscuits/sweets (mainly due to cash flow reasons) and my weightis consistently the same. so should i then restrict myself even further to one or maybe no meals a day??? i do agree i could do with more excercise so there is always that but with a full time job, a boisterous 3 year old who sleeps very little and no energy due to lack of sleep (and of course being rather fat sapping my energy) i cant seem to find the time to do any excrcise worth a damn.

i have not IN ANY WAY made out that i am expecting a miracle or that i want someone to take the responsibility away from me THAT is why i went to speak to the doctor to begin with! i want to take control of this problem and my current means are not helpng so i wanted suggestions as to what else i may have not tried that might help how hard is that to understand??

OP posts:
LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 31/07/2009 21:18

"HE CLEARLY BELIEVED THAT STOPPING EATING TOTALLY WOULD 'SOLVE' MY PROBLEM. "

Well I'm guessing he really doesn't believe that just from the fact as he got to GP status he probably isn't totally stupid.

ButterflEi · 31/07/2009 21:24

libra well if he doesnt believe the 'advice' he is spouting then he is not a GP worth his salt! why would he tell me to stop eating if he didnt believe it would solve my problem. surely he would have delved into his (obviously intelligent) brain and gave out advice he did believe in

OP posts:
Olifin · 31/07/2009 21:26

I'm with those who feel that this was perhaps a waste of the GP's time but also that he was unnecessarily harsh. I suspect that what he really meant was: 'I've made a referral for you. There is plenty of information out there on healthy eating and weightloss. Go and look for it or ask the Practice Nurse so that I can deal with the swine fluees'. Perhaps he should have just said that. It wouldn't occur to me to see anyone other than a Practice Nurse for advice on losing weight/stopping smoking etc.

I agree with the advice on portion sizes. My IL's eat HUGE portions of everything but moan about their weight and go on strange diets (e.g. Atkins) every so often. I think some people just don't realise what consitutes a 'normal' sized portion. Not feeling you have to clear your plate is a good strategy, as is eating slowly because it makes you aware, sooner, of when you are full and helps you avoid getting that hideously bloated feeling after meals.

slowreadingprogress I absolutely agree with your posts about the little things that add up (e.g. semi/skimmed milk) and the importance of emotional problems. I think more overweight people could benefit from CBT or counselling; and here GPs might indeed have a role in referring patients. Overeating because of emotional or psychological factors is no different from suffering from anorexia or bulimia. Some posters here could be more open-minded about the idea of eating disorders being at either end of the spectrum.

Other than a brief period about 10 years ago, I have never (luckily for me, and largely thanks to my genes) been overweight and yet I have certainly binged on food at times, as well as going to the other end of the scale, and I have also been obsessive about exercise in the past. For me, the whole thing is about control issues which may well sound like psycho-babble to some but which makes perfect sense to me and helps me to manage my psychological shortcomings. Just trying to illustrate that overeating can certainly be part of a larger psychological landscape and any Health Professional should be aware of this.

Some great advice here about exercise; I have gone from being a complete non-exerciser (for 10 years!) to regular running, cycling and weight training. I have found it a great stress-reliever, mood-enhancer and self-esteem booster (as well as helping me manage my weight) and, aged 31, I am finally proud of my physique and have a new-found respect for my body. I also control my portion sizes and avoid alcohol, on the whole, which helps a great deal.

OP: look to the Food wheel* for some good ideas about how to plan and manage your diet:

www.juvela.co.uk/pdf/wheel_of_health.pdf

Plan a week's meals and make a list. Do your shopping online and get only what's on your list but DO be realistic and kind to yourself and allow yourself one or two little treats for the week (e.g. a couple of glasses of wine one night, a bowl of popcorn or bag of crisps on another night). Couple this with regular, proper exercise (30 or more minutes, 3 times a week of something that makes you out of breath and raises your pulse). Set yourself manageable targets and build it up gradually. You'll FEEL better within a week, which is more important than losing weight.

Good luck with your weight loss and continued good health, OP.

*I was surprised (but probably shouldn't have been) to recently discover that there are different food pyramids for different continents and regions (e.g. Mediterranean, Asian). We would probably all benefit from using the Asian food pyramid ourselves since it represents an extremely healthy diet. Read up on the Okinawans of Japan whose fantastically healthy lifestyle has them all living into their 90s and beyond, with virtually no cancer, heart disease or Alzheimer's.

careergirl · 31/07/2009 21:26

feel disappointed by some of the comments people have made about GP's
GP's are not stupid people
I have in my time had cause to be very grateful for the vigilance of mine.
What is probably behind all this is someone being told something they didn't want to hear.

Olifin · 31/07/2009 21:26

Bloody long post, sorry about that.

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