I've just been out for my first night out since having our baby 6 months ago. I went to a local restaurant (5 min walk away) with my NCT friends for dinner to celebrate my 40th birthday. I got home at 11.30 to find my baby screaming and my husband asleep in bed. I called him a despicable human being and fed her back to sleep. I went into his room (we sleep in seperate rooms as he has sleep apnoea and i can't sleep through the noise of his CPAP machine) to get the monitor thinking he'd slept through her crying which i was already fuming about (although i thought at that stage did prove what i'd always said about his ability to look after her if he sleeps through her crying) to find that he hadn't even taken the monitor upstairs with him.
He says he's only been in bed for about 20 mins, but i don't care whether that's true or not (and unlikely given he normally goes to bed at 10.30) as i'm just so upset that she's been left on her own crying. I've never left her to cry and it's been a concious decision not to. I feel like he's really let me down and can't be held resposible for her, i also feel really angry that he's spoiled my first night out.
I told him if she woke up anytime after 10.30 (the earliest she would have been due her next feed) that he could ring me and i'd come down. I hummed and hahed about ringing home all eveing but decided not to as i should trust him to look after her properly and i just feel absolutely furious that he didn't.
He says he's sick of me having a go at him, but i feel like there's just no excuse for going to bed without the monitor and leaving her to cry for god knows how long.
Am i being unreasonable to feel this angry. Can i trust him to ever look after properly again?
thanks for your advice