to be dissapointed in Dd1, and confiscate her mobile phone ??

[NervousNutty]

She is 11 going on 21, and had her phone for her 11th birthday.

When I got it i told her that as money is tight I wouldn't be able to top it up very often and that when I did it would have to last.

On average she uses the credit quite quickly, but the last time she did make it last a bit longer. Also a few times if she has had any money of her own, I have asked for £5 towards the top up.

So, shes not had credit for a while and then two days last week and three this week she needed to go to her new school for a summer workshop. She didn't want me to take her, but non of her friends were doing the sames dates and so I agreed she could walk alone if she txts me when she got there.

Trouble was, she had no credit. I was having yet another crap week money wise, and really couldn't afford £10 but topped it up anyway.

I explained that topping the phone up had left me a bit short and so I expected it to last her the whole of the summer holidays, so that if she was out and about and needed to contact me she could.

So fast forward to today. She is on a coach on the way to somewhere and she txts me saying 'i brought a song'. I said 'with your credit you mean ?' and she said yes.

So when she gets home it turns ou that not only did she go on the internet on her phone, she also paid £3.50 t download a song, and £1.50 to download a video. She now had just over £4 left.

I am so dissapointed in her. I even asked her if it told her the cost before she did it, thinking maybe she didn't realise, but she said yes. I asked why she went ahead then, and she said because she wanted them.

Tbh she was full of attitude about it all, and I very nearly put the phone in the bin.

I have confiscated the phone and also told her not to ask me for credit for it ever again.

So aibu ??

Thanks all, will have a read through alll of the posts and check out the suggestions of other tariffs etc.

If she was out with no credit and really needed me she does have an SOS facility on her phone and if she activates it, it txts me very loudly to says she is in an emergency and to help her. Not really what it is intended for but if she had to she could use it.

can you not make her 'earn' the credit ?? doing chores for you?

I have had the exact same problem with my DD. She has the orange deal mysteryfairy talks about. (Thinks it's called the dolphin package on Orange- you get free Beebo and My space with it too.)

When she first got the phone she was regularly going over the £10 a month top up (£5 of which she has to contribute from her pocket money)

SHe was using up her 300 free texts and £10 worth of credit within about 10 days ( on texts meaning she had nothing left for emergencies. She kept saying that her credit was being taken away by bogus internet companies and that she hadn't been using it.

Unknown to her we are able to check her usage on the Internet [evil ]including her internet usage which we found out she was using after she was supposed to have gone to bed.

We took her phone away telling her if she didn't have any credit then she was not allowed out on her own.

After a few days grounding we let her have it back but only when she went out and then after about a week she was allowed it back in the house knowing that we would immediately confiscate it again if we found she was using it at times she wasn't allowed or if she went over her allowance.

Worked a treat!

BTW UANBU

Sell the current phone, and buy her a "Nokia 1112 www.carphonewarehouse.com/mobiles/mobile-phones/NOKIA-1112/PPAY"/or the oldest phone you can find. This way, it won't have the internet on it, and it'll be so old, she won't want to get it out in public.
It's cheap too!

I agree with hecates. Never threaten children with something and then fail to carry it out. They just learn to disrespect what you say. If she has to have a phone set a reasonable amount of credit each month and if she goes over it she can't have more. If you have an issue like the summer school thing again I'd say "have you got credit to text me when you get there?" if the answer is no then you say "well I'll feel better taking you then" If she lies about having credit then you punish her and explain that if she can't manage the credit well she can't have a phone and that lying is not acceptable.

I would also check the details on the song & video she downloaded because sometimes they run on a weekly fee & you have to cancel it or else they send them regardless.