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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be amazed that I had to ask a woman to take her dog out of the "No Dogs" area / playground today

35 replies

LittleRedBook · 28/07/2009 16:56

and that I was the only one to do so?

Got into playground / green area on our local common and huge staffordshire-type dog runs up to me and ds who is only just 2.

There are about 100+ acres of green space on the common for dogs and 1/2 an acre of fenced off area for playground and no dogs. Two signs say quite clearly on the gate that dogs are not allowed in.

So I go up to woman with dog and say, quite pleasantly and calmly "scuse me but do you realise that you're not allowed to bring dogs in here, please would you take yours out?"

Cue massive litany from this woman about why she should be allowed her dog in the area (she had 4 kids with her), how the dog would be stolen if she tied him up on the other side of the railings to where they were sitting; not her dog so a bigger responsibility to keep him near; why was it a problem if the dog crapped or pissed anywhere cos she'd let the kids have a wee on the grass if they needed one; she didn't know that you couldn't bring dogs in when they came in; she'd tied him up now so why was did it matter ...

She was an au pair and she ended by calling me a bitch and telling me to fuck off - in front of her charges... nice.

But what I really wonder about is why the other 12 or so parents already in the playground, some of them men, were keen to congratulate me for standing my ground until the dog was removed - but hadn't had the guts to say something themselves. AIBU to wonder why people don't grow a pair? Perhaps I was BU to have a word with this woman?

OP posts:
Ewe · 28/07/2009 16:59

Not sure this is a case of AIBU really, some people don't like confrontation/aren't that bothered by dogs, or aren't bothered enough to make a big deal about it.

YAdefNBU asking her to take her do out of the area but what anyone else does or doesn't do is none of your business.

sarah293 · 28/07/2009 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hercules1 · 28/07/2009 17:03

I agree. It's obvious that you were in the right, goes without saying. I would have said something to her too. However, doesnt mean everyone else would want to.

paranoidmother · 28/07/2009 17:05

Hi I've had to do this and the owners have given me a mouthful before. In front of DH and DC's and lots of other familys.
The people kept saying but it's behaving and I said it's not just yours it's all the other people who like to think they can get away with it to. Also dog poo can blind a child and I don't want it to be my child!!

God it makes me mad and we've got a dog. I'd never do that

madkat71 · 28/07/2009 17:05

YANBU. I would do the same as well. Most of the parks around by me are covered in, you now what, so I dare not let my DS run about too much in these parks. It's only the controlled No Dogs play area where I feel comfortable letting him run around in.

I feel this is on par with smokers smoking under a No Smoking sign and cars parking by a No Parking sign

TheCrackFox · 28/07/2009 17:06

You don't live near me do you?

I once got into an argument with a dog owner about him having his dogs in the DCs play area. To set the seen the park must be about 10 acres were dogs are allowed to run free with a tiny postage stamp size play park for the DCs to tun around in. His reply, when challenged why his dog was crapping in the sandpit was "dogs can't read". I'd love to say I replied with something witty but I told him to "fuck off".

YANBU. She should have left her dog at home.

Ronaldinhio · 28/07/2009 17:07

amazed??

aendr · 28/07/2009 17:13

YANBU.
TheCrackFox: to "dogs can't read" a good reply can be "neither can kids blinded by the parasites in dog poo, that's why dogs aren't allowed in children's play areas"

TheCrackFox · 28/07/2009 17:16

aender, I know, I know, I let the side down. I can never think of good come backs. What pissed me off was that the play park is fenced off so he must have opened the gate for his none reading dogs.

sarah293 · 28/07/2009 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MoontheMightyThreadKiller · 28/07/2009 17:28

Should of picked the poo up and thrown it at him crackfox. Ok maybe not.

I can't bear it either, my DS1 is terrified of dogs and has wet himself before when dogs come running up at him. On sunday we were going to the park, same sort of scenario, big green space tiny postage stamp play area, and a woman with three dogs let them run up to my and a friends DCs at full pelt. MY DS started panicking and running back to us with the dogs chasing. Only at that point did she choose to call the dogs back. FFS why not call them as soon as they run at us? Why do these people think we all love their dogs as much as they do. And no I don't want them jumping up at me or my children and I don't want to be covered in their drool or their muddy paws.

Grrr.

So no YANBU.

MoontheMightyThreadKiller · 28/07/2009 17:29

And agree with you Riven about the majority standing up to these people. Perhaps if a few more did then they wouldn't feel quite so self righteous and cocky about it.

wasabipeas · 28/07/2009 17:31

Did the dog have a tag on its collar?
If so, I would have taken down the phone number and phoned her employers to tell them about her behaviour

melmog · 28/07/2009 17:41

We had this last weekend. A friend and I and our 4 kids, youngest 16 months were in a park. A woman came in with 2 kids and a staffy, loose. I looked at her and before I could say anything she got it on a lead. It wasn't good enough but I wasn't going to make a scene unless it did crap anywhere.

Ten minutes after she'd left 3 young children, eldest poss 8/9, arrived with a huge lab x thing. They tried to tie it up inside but didn't know how so the dog got loose. I caught it and tied it up for them outside the park. It started raining so the got it and brought it to the pirate ship thingy where we were sheltering from the rain. There was a woman with a little one in a backpack sitting in there too. The dog was completely out of control, stealing food from bags and the "owners" did not have the strength to pull it away.

So, again, I got hold of the dog and told them to take it home.

Who on earth would send kids out with a dog they can't control?

Have I wandered off the subject?

Yanbu. I was the only one out of 5 adults in there by that time that did anything. (My friend is terrified of dogs so she was shaking in the pirate ship!)

Original poster
LittleRedBook · 28/07/2009 17:59

well obviously I don't think I was being U, but this woman was so adamant that she was in the right and I was being totally unreasonable in my whole attitude that I wondered what other people would have done.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 28/07/2009 18:09

yanbu to ask her to take the dog out, but some people may not have actually been bothered by it/may not like confrontation which is perhaps why no-one else said anything.

I challenged a parent with a dog in the playground recently, and I see the irony of having told him that "dogs aren't allowed in the playgroun" as I walked through with my guide dog - who is allowed.

I was once confronted on a bus by a man who was adament that dogs should not be allowed on buses - and "I don't care if it's a guide dog, or that it's well trained, it's a fucking disgrace that it's allowed on here." And on and on and on he went, for the entire journey, shouting abuse from the back of the bus.

CloudDragon · 28/07/2009 18:17

YANBU - I had to do this recently at our park, the dog did a huge shit and she had no bags with her

so I asked her to leave which she did in a really pleasant way, swearing at me.

I ended up cleaning up the poo once someone came along with a bag.

nasty woman.

CloudDragon · 28/07/2009 18:17

YANBU - I had to do this recently at our park, the dog did a huge shit and she had no bags with her

so I asked her to leave which she did in a really pleasant way, swearing at me.

I ended up cleaning up the poo once someone came along with a bag.

nasty woman.

CloudDragon · 28/07/2009 18:18

I didn't do it twice though I would have done

Ewe · 28/07/2009 18:24

I hate dogs Riven but I probably wouldn't have said anything.

I don't like people to be aggressive, shout and swear at me in front of my young child. I don't know the dog owner or how they are likely to react, it's not something I am willing to risk and having a heated discussion like that would completely ruin the trip and make me feel on edge. I am not a shy person at all but for me it would just not be worth it.

If other people are bothered enough by the dog to say something, that is fine, I don't think it is fair to expect anyone else to though.

Was the dog in the actual playground or just the green surrounding it?

HeadFairy · 28/07/2009 18:30

I'm not good on confrontation I must admit, however our playground in our local park has a number to report any broken glass/suspiciou activity/vandalism etc, I'd have no hesitation in calling them (and maybe not being too quiet about it) to say someone had a dog in the playground.

I get absolutely incensed when people leave the gates open in these play areas... ds has a habit of running off straight in to the road if the gates open and I haven't got a grip on him. I slam it shut very loudly and mutter about selfish lazy people.

Original poster
LittleRedBook · 28/07/2009 18:39

oh no dog was in the playground, running round it when we came in. the woman seemed to think that because she was sitting with her friend and their charges on teh green bit which is part of the playground, inside the fence, that that somehow made it ok. she definitely couldn't see the logic that if she came in with her dog then why shouldn't every other dog owner bring theirs in too.

I am not good at confrontation for myself, but on anyone else's part including the need to protect my ds I will usually stand up for what seems to be right. and having a huge dog run up to us as we headed for the swings, and having already seen it pee on the grass I was prepared to ask her to take it out. Wasn't expecting such a long list of reasons why she was so special that should couldn't though!

OP posts:
Ewe · 28/07/2009 18:45

Well done for saying something though, I do always admire people who do! I could probably do the passive aggressive phoning thing that HeadFairy mentioned though, just a bit of a chicken when it comes to things like this.

I would have just carried DD to swings, then slide etc.

MsSparkle · 28/07/2009 18:49

We were at the playground last Saturday and there was a broken vodka bottle on the ground in the middle of the playgound. This was lunchtime so obviously everyone who had been in the park that morning had egnored it, even though it's really dangerous.

My dp picked up all the big bits of glass and only then did some of parents start picking it up too, almost in a i suppose we'd better kind of way

elvislives · 28/07/2009 19:03

I just think there are so many people around these days who think they can do whatever they like.

The beaches near us all ban dogs from 1 May to 30 Sept. Last summer we went to the beach, leaving our 2 dogs at home, only to find about a dozen dogs running about on the beach It isn't fair to everyone else and gives responsible dog owners a bad name because everyone is (understandably) tarred with the same brush.