to be shocked and upset by what I saw in the park?

[ineedalifelaundry]

Me and DH and DD were in the park yesterday, which was absolutely full of families having a lovely time in the sunshine.

Near the ice-cream van we saw an oldish lady with a tiny little boy - can't have been older than 2 - maybe 3 at a push. The little boy had dropped his ice cream on the path and was really upset, trying to pick it up again. The woman pushed him out of the way and picked up the ice cream, threw it in the bin, then walked away from him, shouting really nastily, "You're a naughty, naughty boy! Now you have no ice cream!" She stalked angrily away from him, leaving him standing there in the path crying his little heart out .

All I wanted to do was pick him up and cuddle him. DH was livid and called her an evil bitch (to me, not to her). I know there are worse things you could do to a child and it's probably quite trivial but his little broken-hearted face is haunting me.

I keep wondering in retrospect whether I should've said something to the woman. Probably wouldn't have done any good.

AIBU or was this woman horribly cruel?

moment in time

Did he drop it or throw it?

But you have no idea what preceded this ... he could have been throwing the most awful tantrum and consequently his ice-cream on the floor?

This was only a snapshot of their lives. This little boy may have been behaving in a challenging way all day and may even have thrown the ice cream on the floor himself. Of course there are better ways of handling the situation than what this lady did but perhaps this was the straw that broke the camels back.

assuming of course that he hadn't just thrown his icecream on the floor and there was a "story" before this (as you can't have seen the whole build up as well) then YANBU.............however given it was just a tiny snap shot, I say YABU.

I agree with everyone else. Tiny snapshot and you just can't know.

I did the opposite last summer. DD dropped her ice cream accidently. I picked it up and brushed off the muck and gave it back to her, then realised a guy in a van had seen me

Riven - that is assuming the child is actually 2.

I posted a few months back about stopping a "toddler" from escaping from the church gardens - seriously he's as small as my DS3 is (who's only just 2).

I found out afterwards that he actually starts school in September and will be 5 before Christmas !

Riven - I'm glad that you've never had a child push you so far to the edge that you've never shouted at them even once.

I'm just an ungrateful bint I guess - having shouted at my children on more than one occasion.

maybe he is a naughty naughty boy

I dont think your being unreasonable, just try to forget it, not your problem!

We went to the park sunday, 3 ice creams cost me £7.50 ...I sure as hell would have shouted if one of mine had dropped it!

School hols! Wait & go back during week 6 then you really will see an army of stressed and angry adults!

It does sound harsh. From the OP it doesn't sound like he was being particularly naughty and it does say he dropped it. I would feel the same way probably.

well I think you'll find you're in an eilte minority if you've never shouted at any of your children ever. Perhaps you could form a little club for you and all the other perfect parents out there?

Not sure how telling a child they were naughty is name calling though?

I've yelled at ds in a totally unacceptable way on two occassions.
I apologised profusely to him, poor wee soul. I was mortified and very disappointed with myself, but it is not my normal means of communicating with him.

I lost control. I am human!

You don't know the full story. Perhaps he did it deliberately , perhaps it was already a replacement for one dropped ... you really don't know.

Perhaps she'd had a really stressful day with him. Perhaps she was his granny and just wanted to rest and watch TV. Who knows, but I don't think you should be shocked or upset about it. People get stressed and angry and it isn't like she bashed him for it, she just probably spoke in frustration.

arghh - sod it

Riven you know I like and respect you.

I don't want to fight about this - I just got a bit uppety at the suggestion that if a parent shouts at their child it means they don't appreciate what they've got

That is sad to witness. My dd1 dropped her ice cream the other day; the ball of ice cream had not been put on the cone properly and immediately dropped of. I asked the vendor for another ball of ice cream and we had to pay for a second ice cream which I was annoyed about (annoyed with the vendor that is).

It's not very nice to see things like that, but remember also, that she is a generation apart from us. That is probably how she was spoken to by her parents.

Maybe she's knackered because shes looking after the grankids whilst her children work and is feeling totally unappreciated and tired out. If she was older, she was probably feeling it all a bit much for her.

Perhaps she didn't have much money, and didn't want to see it wasted.

Perhaps the toddler threw it on the floor in a temper. In which case, yes he was being naughty. Whether or not you go about calling him that is a different matter. He was probably crying because he'd been told off and didn't like it.

With my DD, if you ever tell her off, gets really upset. Even if its stuff like don't throw your bottle on the floor! You'd think her arm had fallen off.

Its not nice I know. I don't think you needed to say anything IMO. It would be different if she was calling names or hitting.

I guess it must have been the manner and tone in which she said it that was very upsetting?

So sorry you've had bad news about dd, Riven.