to be really annoyed by my mother just now?

[Alambil]

She just rang - asked if we're not going round there today (no - it's nearly tea-time) - it wasn't set in stone that we were going anyway

I said no, we'll pop round in the morning to have our showers (my house has no shower and bath is un-useable) before going out

she declares it'll have been a month before DS sees water by the time I get round to it (it won't) and then declares that I must be "down in the dumps" because I've dared to not go to her house every day since the holidays

TBH I've been enjoying not getting up for school, not having to get dressed or go places and whenever I've rang to see if she's around, she's busy.

AND whenever we do see her, she makes a point of sniffing Ds and telling him he stinks and will be the smelly boy at school (term time obviously, but continues during holidays).

So AIBU?

Mumcentre please refer to the MN rules....and get therapy for the virtual hug syndrome you are suffering from!!!!

Dammit!..wheres these rules?...rules?..i don't need no stinkin RULES! ..I say we need an MN Official Hugger

DS1 would love to live with you, no bath/shower, he is 13 and a perpetual soap dodger

I think your mum is just worried, let it go, lifes too short.

Mumcentre ahhhh they are the unwritten rules no hugs, no mwahhs and no hunni's

Yeah i know...but I choose to buck the trend I mean 1 outta 3 aint bad ...

my dcs only have a bath every 2-3 days cos they have really dry skin and not bathing everyday helps. They do have a flannel though! I don't think they smell too bad- unless ds1 has fish then he stinks! I am sure there is some syndrome about that

some people really absorb smells literally..don't give him garlic!

He loves garlic but it just seems to be salmon that does it, it comes out of every pore!

FGS are people not reading what I write? We had a shower last week - it's only monday, so it's hardly a long time ago! since then we've washed thoroughly every day... we do not smell

I don't own a shower - the council won't put one in and the taps are broken on the bath (well, they let water out but it's never hot) - the council said something about it needing fixing but won't send anyone so we use the shower at my mums... no big deal, she still thinks it's my home!

and anyway, this isnt about whether we wash or not - it's about my mother sniffing my child and telling him he's smelly and will be bullied at school. It's not right, surely?!

Lewisfan next time you see her you should all start sniffing her see how she likes it...

I think your Mum's pushing your buttons cos she's not getting enough attention.

She sounds a bit like mine who has always helped me out with childcare, frequently comments that it's really far too much for her to cope with 'at her age', then whinges like buggery if we're not on the phone to her everyday and going round at least twice a week - then she complains that I'm 'using her when it suits me'.

I think some Mum's really get off on the dependency factor. She is a real sweetheart in lots of ways but sometimes nearly as demanding as DD.

Dont mean to sound harsh but living in a house where a child cant be bathed every day is a little sad, the council should have pressure on them every single day to get it sorted. Whether you go around your mums or not to shower, kids enjoy baths on the whole and surely people dont live without a bath/shower nowadays?
Id be on the phone 24/7 till it was sorted myself.

monkey, it ain't good for you to shower EVERY day - what a collossal waste of water, for a start! People aren't dirty enough to warrant a bath every day and DS has SN issues that means he can't cope with the feel of water, so it's a task just to get him in there long enough to soap him and do his hair!

Bathing every day is fine, my daughters hair is so oily it needs washing every day, and we like the fresh feeling. We run three baths a day, one for me, one for OH, and one for kids so they go to bed all clean, not to mention that they get soooo sweaty running around all day. Waste of water? The shower is nothing compared to the swimming pool, washing machine and dishwasher

She's just being a Mother Lewis ..don't take her on..they seem to have a natural inclination to know how to piss us off it feels almost genetic!

When I grew up we had a bath a week. I didn't smell, and my nanna didn't sniff me, so I think YANBU on any count. I agree with wombling - your dm sounds like she needs to be needed and wants some attention. She's being silly, but aren't we all sometimes.

I do also agree that the council could be expected to fix your bath tho - suppose you all fell in a muddy ditch and your Mum was out... there aren't municipal baths any more!

yanbu, your mother should not say that to your ds.

However, whilst she shouldn't say it, she may have a point?? imo, a bath/shower every day is reasonable. Or perhaps I'm just a bit of a stinker!!

ignore her, and have some wine/choc/virtual hugs to calm you down tonight.

takes a long time for a child to smell, much longer than a week without a bath, and if you are washing everyday you are fine.

Don't think it was right for your mum to make those comments direct to your DS. Hope he's not the sensitive sort.

Tell her you're building up his resistance

she means well.But very annoying.Don't think little children smell much as long as their clothes are fresh.