Am i? I don't know now..

[mamakim]

Today was ds' 2nd birthday, we had family round. He seemed a little off colour when he woke up but then perked up on sight of presents. Anyhow, while everyone was here he suddenly went grizzly, his temp spiked, i took him upstairs with my mother and gave him nurofen. He then violently vomited and became listless. Dh explained to guests and they all left. Half an hour later ds seems much better, playing with gifts and my mum and her husband are still here. I'm online looking at swine flu stuff and bf dd and my mum's husband takes ds into the kitched and makes him peanut butter on toast. When i go in the dining room and see him eating it i say to my mum "x could have asked if he was okay to eat, because i'm worried about him vomiting again". My mum has now taken great offence at this, quickly left and now on the phone keeps saying "we only want what's best for ds, we love him and only have his best intentions..." BTW This has come in a long line of my mum getting very upset with me questioning anything to do with what they/she/he does with ds. I know they've raised children but i am his mother and she's making me feel undermined all the time. Her husband frequently goes into their kitchen and gives ds chocolate/crisps etc without asking me but i don't let it bother me, it was just because ds was v poorly.

that woudl annoy me too!
i hope your ds did feel better after that.

you are the parent.

my parents would do exactly the same if ds had been sick. they'd want to make sure he's eaten and im sure this is what your mums dh was doing. i dont think you should see it as anything other than that. only thing would be that its ok aslong as he knew your ds wasnt allergic to nuts.

I dont Think you are, we have a similar problem- its just nice to be asked before hand. even more so when they are ill.

YAB a bit U and she is being a bit U.

I would be annoyed if someone fed my DS when he had been ill - even if he was looking alot better - think you should have been asked, not surprised it makes you feel underimined if they are makign decisons about your DS without consulting you.

I think that if you know that your mum reacts badly to this sort of comment then maybe there might have been another way of ohrasing it to keep the peace? She does sound like she was trying to be helpful and obviously regrets causing grief because she is already calling you.

That would wind me up too. How is ds now?

as SLB said YOU are the parent.

Thing is it was just a comment to my mum, not a major gripe. She's the one who's flown off the handle because i said something. She now won't speak to me for days! All i get is "we love him like he's our own" yes i know but he's not your own, he's mine! Sorry it's a big mess of a post by the way. I'm in bed, on my phone, mulling it over.

i think your mum is being unreasonable more than you, or perhaps a bit sensitive - you were well within your parental rights to say he could have asked first, he should have!

hope it settles down - sometimes gps have trouble accepting that their little girl has her own DC now and is quite capable of caring for them, thank you!

He seems okay, thanks for asking. He's asleep, he's had calpol because his temp went up again. Dh went and got tamiflu but i haven't given him any. I don't know how to get around them being so offended when i say anything. They help us out quite a bit and adore ds but i am his mum and they seem to ignore that.

I think my mum would have shouted through "is it all right" as he was eating it.

You have had a stressful day,she should have thought to ask but it's not the end of the world.