Grrr WARNING ***VERY LONG***

[Jan01Mum]

Before anyone starts pointing out my spelling mistakes i am dyslexic so please dont.

For those of you who dont know me i am a long time lurker newish poster. Ok now this may sound bizzarre to some of you but please try and see it from my point of view

I am thirty six this year and have four very beautiful daughters and another on the way. My youngest daughter is eight months old and last she said her first word....dadda....now i know everyones going to read that and think ok and your point is but that is my point exactly. I dont force mum onto her infact she doesnt even really know what my name is if you understand me? But i was hoping her first word would be one of her sisters..she likes to call one baba

im really pleased that she said her first word but im bitterly disapointed that shes said dadda because my partner is rarely at home and not because he has work or he has other priortys...no simply because he would rather go to the pub every night. So i was furious, my daughter has not been well for the past few months nothing major she just seems to have caught every flu going recently ...my eldest daughter and i have spent that much time with her that i was sure her firt word would be somthing to do with us? Her father rarely spends time with her and i am not exagerating, he works all week but then he thinks this gives him the right to go out all night and leave me on my own with my children. I love my children but everyday and every nght wth them is a bit too much.

Now that is not even the problem the problem is that he isnt interested in the children and never spends time with them but all week since shes been saying baba hes been bragging to everyone about how much she must hate me to say his name firt and how much of a fab dad he is AIBU to be annoyed at this?

why are you with that man?

You are taking this way too personally. Dada is a much easier sound for a young child to make than Mama - so this is why childrens first words are often Dada.

Your OH sounds like an arse.

Babies say dada not because they are asking for or saying Dad, but because it is the easiest sound to make in regards to tongue & lip formation!

They really have no idea at first who dad or mum is, in relation to the word.

As giraffes said, it's common for babies to make a 'dada' sound first, just because it's easier to manipulate the tongue and lips into position (go on, try it and see how much more "work" goes into that 'm' than 'd' )

And yes, your dp sounds like an arse.

giraffes and sandcastles, by the time I'd posted!

As the others have said, Dadda is most babies first word. They don't mean Daddy. Kids with no father often say it so don't stress too much and sort out your relationship. Her obviously is around enough to knock you up 5 times so he should be around to be a father.

She's not even talking, she's just babbling and doesn't know what she's saying.

Oh dear he doesn't sound very nice

I think the way you feel about baby's first word is a symptom of the wider picture.

He's being grossly unfair and cruel from what you say, telling people she must 'hate' you, wtf??

Sorry. You must be feeling rotten already, but I don't think you should stand for being treated this way Have you got nice family around who would support you trying to get him to sort himself out? Or just support you generally...not sure if you'd get a man like that to change.

You are not pissed off because your dd's first word was dada, you're pissed off because your dp is a twonk. Why have you had 5 children with someone who 'isn't interested' in them!?

She may not know your name, but she knows who you are, and that you are very important to her

Your partner is (in my opinion) a TWUNT..

Have you tried telling him that you need more help in the evenings. Has he always been like this?