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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be irritated by people who pack their DCs off to clubs as soon as the hols start?

252 replies

juicy12 · 23/07/2009 18:23

I'm not talking about people who work full/part-time here. But really about people who are SAHM/SAHDs. Some people seem to be terrified at the prospect of spending any time with their DCs just in the home, just hanging out or doing home activities. I've got a DS - 5 and a DD - 2.5, and I'm looking forward to some weeks of chilling out, painting, craft stuff, swimming, playing etc. I've lost count of the number of other SAHMs who take the "can't possibly have them at home for 6 weeks" line and schedule the entire break to within a nano-second. Or am I being mean not booking DS1 in for loads of different activities?

OP posts:
BonsoirAnna · 24/07/2009 08:22

Riven: my DSSs are 14 and nearly 12, and DD is 4.8. We are all, thankfully, able-bodied.

I do expect the DSSs to give me quite a substantial hand with DD and around the house during the holidays (I expect nothing of them in term time). That's life, and it's good for them and it's good for DD and me.

moondog · 24/07/2009 08:25

I'm with my kids every day for the next six weeks (apart from daily tennis lessons) here in Bangladesh with my dh.

I like it. I work my tits off all year round and feel I am constantly bundling them off to school or the childminder so it is a great contrast.

I wouldn't assume that holiday clubs are a bad thing though. I spent years working on a US summer camp scheme.Kids had an absolute blast.

Phoenix4725 · 24/07/2009 08:29

hmm I wll be amking good use of summer clubs infact shock horror ds1 15 is going away for week without me means ds 2 12, can hog the computer inbetween going swimming and summer club where he gets go climbing,caving etc Im sure he rather be stuck in with dd6 and ds 4 doing sticking and gluing
infact dd is of on Monday to a holiday club where she be having lots of fun without her little brother gettingin the way.

now all i need is a summer club for ds4 maybe should send him to you , do hope you can sign and dont mind changing nappies on a 4yo and how are you dealing with temper tantrums dont forget the physio .Then I can do my housework in peace oh and sleep as well .
FGs not everyone seems to have a pfb 1@2 like you do
and yes before th op gets all on high horse yes we do things as a family days out,but yu try to please a 15,12,6 and 4 yo infact there all yours

pointydog · 24/07/2009 08:37

Must also depend on where you live.

My experience of a 12 (nearly 13) year old and 10 yr old is very different to those of you saying, 'just wait till they'r e older'.

We live on an estate, all the dds' friends live round about so they get in touch with each other and make plans and entertain themselves.

Much easier than a 5 aqnd 2 yr old.

LynetteScavo · 24/07/2009 08:42

I bet if someone did some research into it they'd find that kids who have attended organised clubs through out the holidays settle back into school quicker at the start of term.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/07/2009 08:44

im obv a bad nanny as this week my dc nearly 4 and 7 did tennis every morning

and they LOVED it

mb asked if i minded if she booked them in and tbh it was nice to have something structured for a few hours

then we had all afternoon to play/go swimming/picnics etc

2.5 and 5 are lovely ages, but as others have said as they get older they do need something planned

plus i also have a baby as well to occupy and having 3 different ages to try and please is fun but also time consuming

7weeks of non stop playing with just you and them is too much - i have also arranged for school friends to come over , as well as them returning the favour

BonsoirAnna · 24/07/2009 08:45

LynetteScavo - and would that be a good thing, in your book, were it true (which I can have absolutely opinion on, as I have no data)?

ingles2 · 24/07/2009 08:48

it does pointy. We live on a farm in the middle of nowhere. We've got no neighbours which means my boys can't go anywhere without me organising it and dropping them off. I'm v.v. jealous of dc being able to walk out the front door and find a street full of mates.

sarah293 · 24/07/2009 08:48

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LynetteScavo · 24/07/2009 08:49

BonsoirAnna -It would probably be a good thing as far as teachers are concerned. Obviously I'm not that bothered about it, as I'm not putting mine into any clubs.

BonsoirAnna · 24/07/2009 08:51

Surely they could do general housework, laundry, shopping etc? I expect the DSSs to help out with those things - DSS1 can go to the supermarket on his own with a list (and his mobile, in case of queries/he cannot find something).

sarah293 · 24/07/2009 08:52

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Blondeshavemorefun · 24/07/2009 08:53

riven - sorry you dont seem to be getting the help/support you need from ss

if you found a holiday nanny etc would ss pay?

btw did you sort out someone for your camping trip?

BonsoirAnna · 24/07/2009 08:53

LynetteScavo - but school isn't for the teachers, it's for the pupils!

Personally, I can see how DD (4.8) is already in a totally different frame of mind now that she has been off school for three weeks (of which two were on holiday, swimming and playing outside all day etc) and her level of conversation and understanding is massively better than during the term time! Children's cognitive development is greatly enhanced by one-on-one time with parents and/or older children.

thedolly · 24/07/2009 08:54

The great thing about the hols for us is that all 3 children get to play together. They are 2,5 and 8 so this wouldn't happen at a club. I love the lack of routine in the Summer and find it entirely refreshing - we're nearly halfway through the hols and so far so good

LynetteScavo · 24/07/2009 08:56

hahahahaha! BonsoirAnna - Maybe you should point that out to most of the teachers I come across!!!

I must remember that one next time a teacher is weary from dealing with my DS.

LynetteScavo · 24/07/2009 08:58

the dolly - I agree. I'm still in my dressing gown, loving the fact that we have no plans for today!

However, I did really enjoy the summer playschemes I went to as a child. Teh only down point was when I won the fancy dress competition dressed as a chicken. What was my mother thinking?!

sarah293 · 24/07/2009 08:58

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Blondeshavemorefun · 24/07/2009 09:03

oh thats a real shame

im suprised no one on here could help - what dates did you want again or can you be flexible?

i have some time off in august and although blondes doesnt camp for my own holidays - used to 5* hotels i would be happy to camp to help out someone

Original poster
juicy12 · 24/07/2009 09:35

Yikes - OP comes back, dodging the rotten eggs being hurled at her from all angles. Some people did seem to get what I was trying to say - in fact 2kidzandi nailed it really with; Are you upset by it because you feel people don't spend enough time with their children/childrens lives are too regimented etc.
As many of you pointed out, I have young kids who are more easily amused by a bit of chalking and painting, and, no, I don't know what it's like to have pre-teens/teenagers, or DC with particular needs. I certainly wasn't out to offend anyone. Perhaps I've just been in contact with people who seem to be making use of clubs as an alternative to spending any time with their kids - one mum (with DC same age as mine) did tell me that she was really pleased with herself because she'd accounted for every single day of the holidays and wouldn't have the 2 DC at home together for more than 2 days in the whole break. Just think that seems a bit . But obviously that's up to her.
I know this is the AIBU page and people vent a bit more, but I'm not "judgey, bloody stupid or obnoxious or bitter". So, hope everyone has a lovely summer, whatever they're doing and, again, I really wasn't setting out to upset anyone.

OP posts:
maturestudentlikegoodwine · 24/07/2009 09:37

I loved the quote by soup dragon, about its about not wanting to kill her children hahaha.
Seriously when I was younger, my mum had something planned for nearly every day of the holiday and i remember asking if we could not just stay at home and chill 'like everyone else'
I always used to strike a happy medium with my lot, 18 16 10 and 4!! ds. The older ones would go off quite happily to summer clubs, play schemes etc, a holiday with their paternal grandparents, a holiday with me, a holiday with their dad (seperated) and all because I am a single mum who worked part time. My lads are lovely well adjusted boys, and they dont seem to have been harmed by me not spending holiday time with them. Now they are older they are quite happy to doss in bed all day!!!!the 10 year old doesnt want to do holiday club, but is still going away with his grandparents, and although I am now a student with the 6 weeks off too, my 4 yearold is still packed off to nursery every day, but dropped off earlier and picked up earlier. Infact he asks to go.
And I dont feel guilty one bit for irritating the OP x

Acinonyx · 24/07/2009 09:54

Holiday clubs - what a fantastic thought! can't see my uber-shy dd ever wanting to go, unfortunately.

I'm not a child and I don't want to play with a child - even my own (who is incapable of playing alone) - all day TYVM.

I work PT so we have a CM anyway. But 6 weeks of 24/7 - I shudder at the thought.

BadgersArse · 24/07/2009 09:55

we have 6 weeks
week one is hanging around and cricket course( for two of them)

week 2 adn 3 is holiday

week 4 is coming home and then off to grandmas for the weekend

week 5 the same

ABetaDad · 24/07/2009 09:56

ingles2 - I lived on a farm in the middle of nowhere as a child. I hated summer holidays. Never saw any of my friends at all and never went on holiday. Parents too busy to take us anywhere and when I was not bored out of my head I was working for my Dad.

I used to look forward to going back to school and now my DSs are going to a proper US style summer camp (non residential) they have a much nicer summer than I ever had and are confident happy children. They are doing something positive and not stuck inside on computers or racking around the streets getting in to trouble.

BadgersArse · 24/07/2009 09:57

mine wil be racing around the streets.

WHy does the "getting into trouble" come with that.
they will be hanging out wiht mates, cycling, playing sport, playing on the wii and doing kids things.

the eldest will go into town to try his new bus route for next year.