Not to change my plans at short notice?

[FranSanDisco]

This morning my dc's were at a holiday club which was to end at 12 noon after which we were going to the park with friends (this was reconfirmed when we dropped off our children and picnic food bought). At 11 am I decided to call my mum to have a quick chat. She announces my brother and his two children are coming to her house and were due to arrive any minute. They live about 45 mins away from her. She asked me if I was coming over and I explained I hadn't planned to as (a) children in club and (b) short notice would mean altering plans. She seemed annoyed and kept saying "so you're not coming over, I thought you'd want to see them". I ended up telling her I shouldn't be expected to change my plans with short notice and had db wanted to see us he should have called earlier or got her to. She told me to "grow up" . Should I have cancelled? Our picnic was little wet but we made the best of it .

YANBU you shouldn't have cancelled.
My mum would deny it but she is a bit like this too, i'm getting married tomorrow my sister didn't even confirm she was coming until the weekend and asked me to find a hairdresser and my mum decided that I could do it at 9am the next morning cause I obviously have nothing better to do.

YANBU.
Surely your brother could have called earlier if he wanted to see you?

Also, Good luck for tomorrow INACIAALS.
Hope you and Mr Ineedacleaner have a fab day

You see that's it, if db was bothered why didn't he call/text me. He isn't bothered about seeing my children or me obviously but I am in the wrong . I ring up innocently ignorant of the impending visit and get an earful for saying I have plans. Had she called me earlier in the morning (before 10 am) or as soon as she knew they were coming I wouldn't have bought picnic stuff and confirmed plans, perhaps. I don't even know if he was just leaving them with her and going off to golf. I just love the way it's my fault.

YANBU - why did your mum or brother not ring you earlier and invite you over? Why wait till you ring them, then tell you? How bizarre!

When I asked that question I was told to 'grow up' LOL. She is bizarre and I don't know why I take notice. I was fuming though.

{grin] thank you muggglewump.
My mum does the "grow up" kind of attitude when she wants me to do something but knows she is in the wrong really. Drives me batty. I am the youngest of 3 and I sometimes think she is a bit pissed off I actually did grow up.

What would have happened if you hadn't called your Mum for a chat and presumably knew nothing about it?

I think that if I had't rang I'd have been none the wiser. I'd probably have been told they had visited. This becomes more laughable. I am pmsl now.

Beats me how she can be so self-righteous about something that she actually wasn't planning on telling you about. I wouldn't worry about it. Sounds like she knows she doesn't really have a leg to stand on which is why she's trotting out the 'grow up' remark.

Yes think you're right.

Do you see your db often though? Because it's not just about whether he wants to see you and your family, it's also about whether you want to see him and his family, but you chose to stick to what you'd already arranged. I'm not saying YABU, just that regardless of who called who beforehand, he opportunity was there and you chose not to take it, did you not want to see them?