To be royally peed off.

[Lovemyshoes]

DH has always like fishing, but, only recently started taking it up again. BUT he is now getting on my tits with it.

I have been off work ill and a couple of times he has been fishing and not come back till about 6/7ish meaning, I had to go out feeling rough and collect the children.

He went yesterday and didn't come back till gone 6pm, by the time he comes in and has had a bath and something to eat its past the kids bedtime so he sees them for 10 minutes and then he is so 'shattered' he is asleep by 8.15.

I have been waiting AGES for him to clean the cooker (I've done it since we had it and he hasn't so I've deliberately not done it, even though I'm embarrased for people to come in the kitchen). He promised he would do it tomorrow, he has just had a phone call and is now going fishing AGAIN for the day so I have to pick the kids up after work etc and sort them and he won't be back till 'late'.

He is then going fishing on Friday and won't be back till late, his excuse for going 3 times in a week is that he is going to be with the dc all next week so he won't 'have time'.

I still don't feel 100% i'm exceptionally tired, still have the occasional headache but I do nearly everything. Today i've

Emptied, loaded the dishwasher
Tidied kitchen
Done recycling
Sorted paperwork
Sorted and put away 3 loads of laundry
Taken rubbish out

All while he sewed a hole in his trousers and watched tele, then, he had the cheek to complain at me when I went upstairs for a lie down.

Whilst he has the dc next week he won't do anything because he can't do housework and look after the kids , they are 10yrs and 7yrs so not littlies.

If I went out at 8/9 in the morning and came back at 6/7 without once ringing home or the kids, he would go ballistic. I feel like doing it, but, don't want to upset the kids and wouldn't know where to go.

I am so pissed at the minute I'm on the verge of tears.

YANBU.

YANBU I would be peed off too!! Does he know how you feel about it??

YANBU, you need to sit down and work out what works out well for you as a family, not just him and his hobby.

If you are not well it is unfair of him to add extra pressure on to you.

It is no wonder you are pissed off, I would be furious that he can decide what he is doing without thinking of you and the DC.

Does he not have to go to work? WHere does he fit it in? You are not being unreasonable at all.

Yes he does work, but, he works continental shifts and is on his summer holidays.

I know if I tried to talk it over with him, he would lose him temper AGAIN and say that he won't go fishing ever again and then walk round looking badly done to.

Well if he does that, let him. Then he can be a martyr and you will still get some help

Print your OP and hand it to him. Ask him to read it and explain while you aren't asking him to totally give up his hobby, it's not unreasonable to ask him to do 50% of the housework when you're both at home. He can fit his 50% round his hobby, but he can't just do his hobby and expect you to pick up the slack for him, and that when your ill you would hope you could lean on him for support and that your dissapointed to find you can't.

BTW - don't do stuff like sewing his trousers, it's one thing doing more than your fair share of the housework and childcare but quite frankly anything that's just for him, leave for him to do. You'll be sorting out the fishing tackle next...

I think its time he introduced your DCs to the joys of fishing.