to think that referring to all family friends as Uncle/Auntie is odd and confusing.

[Momdeguerre]

I appreciate it is not going to destory the moral fibre of society but I object to being referred to as 'Auntie' by all and sundry or to people who call any family/tenuous friend Auntie/Uncle.

No objection for relatives or even very close friends/god children etc but I don't like the habit of all friends being given this moniker. E.g. my mum's neighbours daughter - who I have can't have met more than twice asks her DS to refer to me as 'Auntie'.. . . .

I would hate to think my kids would trust someone just because they referred to themselves as Auntie/Uncle! Familiarity would probably be a better test for me - actually think it is probably more misleading for them to think that anyone called Auntie/Uncle is trustworthy since so many people seem to use it. For my kids it will have a much more restricted use.

I am not averse to the term being used for wider family - particularly in light of modern families but I just don't like it being applied willy nilly to anyone.

I don't have any objection on the basis of class.

My mum made me do this to people to show they had elevated status in some odd way. I was a very literal child so it never sat easily with me.

My friends and I now use it between ourselves and our babies in a tongue-in-cheek, satirical kind of way. The difference being that when I was a child it was absolutely insisted on to the point where if you forgot, it was counted as being rude and you would be sharply rebuked, as using first name only (to family friends, friends' parents etc) was seen as over-familiar for a child to use.

here you are Fictive Kinship

it's a practice that goes back years all across the world .

The trust idea sounds very odd! I would have thought that trust had nothing to do with a name.

I like the sound of the Caribbean/Asian usage - using Auntie/Uncle as a sign of respect is great when everybody knows that's what it means. But the British way seems to imply that children aren't important enough to address adults by their first name

My ds calls my best friend Auntie, but thats more to do with her being his Godmother and her partner is Uncle.

My brother and sister aren't married but he calls their partners auntie/uncle anyway, just saves confusion. Other than that we don't have any pretend aunties/uncles.

I had loads when I was growing up though.

that's it ponders. It's definitely a 'keep kids in their place' thing. As if it's threatening to have a child address you directly.

I just went into the OU Library on-line and was going to find some proper articles on fictive kinship - but there's masses of the blinking things and I can't be arsed.

Needless to say that it's not new, it's not really any particular class related, nor any particular culture >>>>

I did this when I was younger, and didn't find it confusing in the least. Also don't think it have a deleterious effect on my social skills, but maybe...

My DC don't do it, because it isn't the Done Thing round here, now.

nope - maybe in latter days it's been a "kids in their place" thing - but historically much more than that.

May have affected my grammar though

I dont think there is anything wrong with it.

It shows respect for adults and I think that is fine.

My OH is west indian so it is common practice in our house. My best mate is married to a Turkish man and they also expect it of their children.

In some cultures children would be expected to use auntie/uncle for just about every adult. We dont do that but any significant adult is refered to as A or U.

My side of the family think its odd though.

I have an aunt who doesnt like being called aunt because it makes her feel old. Now that is sad! (she is old anyway )

well, not sure what class I am but somewhere in the professional chattering ones.

I definitely use it with DS, I don't want to hear him call my friends or my mum's friends by their first names alone. Also his CM has a large extended family and he calls them all Auntie or Granny etc etc. He knows that Granny at CMs, Granny at friends, and Grandma (my mum) are all very different but he also knows he can call them by something familiar but not upstarting.

God, I sound 100 years old!

hmm, I just don't think that children take from it 'I am being respectful'

I think they take 'I am not important enough to be allowed to talk to this person using their name'

but I appreciate i could be over-thinking this, it's just a particular bug-bear of mine

I do think you are overthinking it. I think we do a lot of that on here though

' I don't want to hear him call my friends or my mum's friends by their first names alone'

What about the friend's wishes? I most definitely do not want to be called auntie by friends children and I don't want Mrs either. If it is my choice that they call me by my first name this is reasonable-and rude to insist on something I don't want.

Dont get that at all slow. Fair enough if you dont like it. I dont object to children calling me by my name. I really dont think it demeans children to use A & U though.

You are not the only one to bring this up. It does seem to get to quite a few people

"I think they take 'I am not important enough to be allowed to talk to this person using their name'"

so your DC have always called you by your first name then and never mum? And you never called your parents mum and dad??

The only non-relatives that get called aunty/uncle by my children are God parents.
And my sisters fiance gets called uncle too but he really will be an uncle once they marry.

I think mum and dad ARE different - we ARE mum and dad, but every other adult my child meets is not their aunt or uncle!!!

I also didn't mind DS calling me by my first name. He did this for a couple of years! I have never corrected him at all; he's gone over to using 'mum' of his own choosing.

Agree with pisces; it's choice - I guess I'd rather Ds called someone 'aunty' than completely offended them - likewise I'd cringe to be called aunty myself

che you are right - it's one of those 'non issues' that people still do feel strongly about!

My God children call me by my name and my DSs call their God parents by their names, unless they happen to be my, or DHs siblings.

so are you then completely disregarding fictive kinship then that has been around for centuries in all cultures?

pisces - yes, see your point. However none of my friends have raised this, although thinking about it, it's the non-child friends who are "Auntie". DS's friend's mums, apart from one who is an old friend anyway, are all Rachel, Sara, helen ,etc etc.

sadly I think that the school/baby mums aren't really my friends they are acquaintances (even if perfectly nice), my friends are my old friends, they are the "auntie" ones. not sure this makes sense but there it is.

Thinking back to my own childhood, such titles were occaissionally extended to close family friends, my Grandfathers best friend for example, they really were like relations though. He and his wife would come to stay with us for a month or so over Christmas every year.

I don't mind people doing it if it suits both parties-and as long as they leave me out of it.