not to know whether to smack nasty mother in teeth or ask her if she gets enough help with her children.

[imaynotbeperfectbutimokmummy]

Of course, i did nothing! But my God, i was although im not sure who with.

Was in the public toilets (nice) with DD today, she was doing her usual faff about. Another mum came in with her DD, about the same age, if not a little younger. Ive seen this woman before having a cat fight with another woman about her kids in the middle of the street. I thought with my judgey hat on "i bet she ends up screaming at this little girl". I was right, she was just about keeping it civil when i was there, but as i walked out she bellowed, "Come ON, i don't have time for this, you are gong to get a smack". (My mother was waiting outside and she was open mouthed as i think she thought it was me!)

My initial reaction was to march straight back into the toilets grab the woman by the throat and tell her if she so much as laid a finger on her little girl i would teach her to pick on someone her own size. However, it just made me really sad. This woman is obviously struggling, she looked terrible - from what was being screamed across the road at the other woman a few weeks back indicates that there are issues surrounding her children. So, STILL angry, because this woman is blatantly not coping, but IS she getting any support to help her? She wasn't a young mum. I THINK she is a single parent (so that is tough in itself). Of course i don't KNOW that she isn't getting help, but i just can't help but thinking that a little girl of about three, should not be bellowed at and threatened just because she took her time having a wee.

Tis very easy to judge another parent, im not perfect, but i couldnt help but want to say to this woman, "you know what, leave your DD with me for a couple of hours, go and sort your head out and i'll take her to the swings with my DD". But of course i didn't, I just walked off wearing my judgeypants.

Here's some judgey pants.

I have honestly only been to an Iceland once.

When I was there a woman had her two or so yold on reins. When they got to the checkout, he was playing up. She wasn't a young mum and was obviously hassled.

She picked him up by the reins throughout the checkout process and let him dangle.

AIBU to have (not) wanted to rip her throat out?

imaynotbe.. FWIW i too judge when i hear people shouting threats of smacking to their children. I just don't get it. Not in any walk of life would i tolerate a threat of a smack from anyone so why do some people think it's ok to threaten a child with it?

Tiger, nah YANBU nuff respect for her is what i say Saying that, she WAS in iceland with warrents judging in itself!

shineon "It is not abuse to dish out a smack on the bottom".

If a friend/partner/colleague were to smack you for pushing their buttons would you tolerate it?

Ahhh you've rumbled me imaybe

Point is: we all (apart from the saints) do and say things which we regret. If this lady does it all the time, and others are aware, and it really is bad, then yes, it's tricky. But all we ever see of anyone is a snapshot, surely?

Shiney: it was the only time in my entire (long) life I went in there, in search of frozen raw prawns.

(a) crikey

(b) they did have the prawns which was more than you can say for any other local supermercado

These threads always make me worry about what people think when my lippy charming eight year old asks me in piercing tones if he's going to get a sound thrashing when he gets home. Which is a joke, I've never laid a hand on his farty delicate little posterior. He just things its farking hilarious to make me blush. Why I oughta....shakes fist Homer stylee*

My spelling definately warrAnts judging!

I really do not believe that a lot of MNers would look at me let alone talk to me if they saw me in RL.

Going by a lot of the threads lately.

And I am a mum who loves my kids and has always put them first and does her best.

Sometimes i shout (well quite a lot really), I have even been known to swear at my children (not something I am proud of and I have only done it since losing DD - but not an excuse I know).
I have quite often threatened them with extreme violence. 'If you dont get a move on I am going to beat you up', 'bring that baby over here so I can give him a big smack', to my 18mth old 'you are a very wicked boy'.

The just look at me and smile. They dont seem emotionally scarred.

Its not nice to see someone smack/shout at a child. It looks much worse from the outside because you do not know about the realationship. I HATE my OH telling the kids off, it sound horrible. But its no worse than when I do it.

at shineon...

My issue is that i'm one of those make smacking illegal brigade...

My mother used to smack my bottom, nothing worse, but i remember it today (and i'm 40) as clear as the day it happened. I never understood how she could smack me one minute then say she loved me the next. I suppose we are fairly close now but i don't feel as close as many of my friends do to their mothers.

OMG of course that should read NOT proud off

shineon Not for a single second did i think you beat your children, i was laughing at your beat the partner comment!

I accept my anti smacking views are not held by many and some of my dear friends have been known to smack. Tis just my view

"Come ON, i don't have time for this, you are gong to get a smack".

I really can't get excited about this. It sounds pretty trivial to me - unless of course mother was inches away from childs face, spital foaming at her mouth with clenched fist or flat of hand poised and at the ready.

Must admit I threaten to smack my children to get their compliance. It's wierd, they absolutely know that I'm not going to follow through and smack them... and yet they still take it seriously. I think its because they realise its my short hand way / metaphor for telling them I mean business. It's a bit more pithy and assertive sounding than "I am going to dock your pocket money by 50p" (which is what I generally do)

At the risk of sounding sloppy/creepy and pathetic i think the same about your posts most of the time.

Only one person seems to need anger management here OP

I think it would be tremendous fun to be swung round on reins - kind of like getting a "Leg and an arm" without having your limbs ripped from your sockets...I'm kind of sorry I didn't use them now

How absolutely dreadful!

I once was in Poundland horrifyingly following this dreadful man around as he was effing and blinding his poor wife and dd aged about 17. They could do no right. He was in the checkout in front of me followed by his long suffering wife and dd.

I tapped him on the shoulder whereupon he looked at me.

Me (in loud voice so that everyone could hear): What a rude man you are to swear like that in a public place!

Man: Eh?

Me: That is no way to treat people!

Man Eyes wide speechless)

Me: You should be ashamed of yourself!

Then all three just shuffled off, the wife and daughter looked at me with sad eyes.

You can just guess what their homelife would be like.But I just had to say something and I'm glad I did for my own peace of mind.

upside of reins : you that beastly woman in Iceland can hoist the miscreant up and let it dangle while shopping beatifically

downside of reins: the little bugger works out that by flopping quickly to the floor they can dislocate your that woman's shoulder.

As someone who was regularly smacked (and worse) as a child, no, OP, I feel you are not being unreasonable. I wish someone had stood up for me and my sister more. But what can you do... it's a world whereby if you intervene, you're interfering and putting more pressure on someone under strain, and if you don't, you're letting someone get away with it. It's very hard to know what to do for the best. Had my mother had more support maybe things would have been different. What I would say - and OF COURSE I'm biased... is that if you have genuine concerns I would not be averse to alerting a social worker or someone.