to be freaked out by LO's "pretend friend"?

[NancysGarden]

(Posted on spirituality section also but perhaps better suited here):

I'm not sure where I stand on the subject of lost souls but my LO has recently been making lots of noise on the monitor after being put down to bed and this evening just casually brought up her "pretend friend" Abi. To my knowledge she doesn't know any Abis. She talked about her in a funny light-hearted way for about half an hour and then it began to scare me when she talked about being afraid and Abi being afraid of who was coming to get her. It went on until bedtime (a good hour in total) and the last bit seemed extremely anxious. Whatever I said made it worse so I just tried to distract her.

Any advice/ ideas? I know it's a strange one but having put her to bed I am feeling very uneasy and have my ear fixed to the monitor. Have also left the bedroom door open.

Someone I know has an imaginary friend who is frequently blamed for burps, farts and choclate going missing.

He's 36.

DD1's imaginary friedn was called Barning and lived in teh tree outside her window. One windy night we had to open the window to let him in

Eventually turned out to be BArney (as in the purple dinosaur) who one of her school friends had on her top one day. They will pick up names from anywhere.
DD1 is more often someone else herself, today she is 'Squeaky Bird' She was him yesterday as well, at sports day, whcih involved running around flapping her wings and shouting 'chirp!' at people for no reason

ds3 has about 3 imaginary friends -all made up names, dubrial is the main one. DS3 is 4 now, he's had them since he was about 2 (although they don't appear as much now). We talk about them a lot (so does ds2) and ask when they are visiting and when they go home. He tells his imaginary friends off sometimes as well. He also calls them his imaginary friends.

I think it's quite sweet.

dd has a host of imaginary friends and she is quite sociable generally too
she knows they are imaginary and sometimes days my imaginary friend Luke did this or that, Luke has been around since she was about 2

children imagine all sorts of things, parents over reacting or looking scared doesn't really help they do need help understanding their feelings and fears in a rational manner, they need to be given the confidence to deal with them

I suppose it is quite sweet saintly, I was just a little perturbed esp the first night because she became anxious and clearly a little stressed as the evening progressed. I have been a little stressed lately so maybe I was just reading too much into things.

I must say thankyou to everyone for sharing your experiences, makes me realise how common and obviously a bit of a phase this imaginary friend thing is. Thanks to whoever pointed out the Peppa Pig link: also reassuring to know "pretend friend" is clearly something she's picked up from that programme. (She does watch it - and it's true you think you're privy to everything they see/hear/are exposed to, but it's not necessarily true).

That said, GentleOtter you have a stronger stomach that me: the adopted voice and "biting rabbit" would have scared me a lot! Perhaps it's me who has the over-active imagination!?

My ds2 (5) has had an imaginary friend ever since he could speak. BUT he only ever talks to him when he is on the toilet! He has really long conversations with him (doesn't have a name, but is a little boy apparently) and as a result always takes hours going to the toilet.

I think he probably started it to keep himself company when he was a bit nervous of going in there alone and it has become a bit of a habit.

He also went through a stage of having an imaginary tiger for a friend. No coincidence that his favourite book of the time was The Tiger Who Came to Tea. Tiger used to go to the toilet with him too and the three of them had lovely long conversations together.

I often find myself eavesdropping outside the door as they talk about some amazing things.

Its quite useful really, as if he has anything bothering him as he always discusses it with his invisible friend.

ok: quick update. Went out last night and DP has just reported that at bedtime LO told him that "Abi" is her sister and that she only visits at night. She HAS had very interrupted sleep last few nights, waking and crying which she is out of the pattern of. She also told me something about Abi this morning, can't even remember what as I hadn't spoken to DP at that time: anyway she stopped mid-sentence and said "oh, I mustn't talk about that" and I asked her if DP had told her not to and she just said "no...he didn't say anything about it".

Am now feeling a bit spooked about it again. But, not as stressed as the other night. Will just try to keep open mind and see how the lands lies tonight

Don't worry my DD2 had an imaginary friend called Carcle..he was from space...the reason we couldn't see Carcle was because he and his small space ship could change colour he had a family with a sister and he would visit usually at night..sometimes I would hear her having intricate conversations with him..it can be quite un-nerving..they can be quite secretive about their chats..but it ends eventually...I remember more about Carcle than DD2 now..she's forgotten him so don't worry

This book was featured in Fortean Times recently:

www.amazon.co.uk/Invizikids-Curious-Imaginary-Childhood-Friends/dp/1905646046

posits the idea that imaginary friends are 'real' - quite interesting I think!