to expect DH to at least acknowledge my wishes about the trampoline?

[misshardbroom]

Today DH took DD (5) to see his sister, who has 3 teenagers.

In their garden, they have an 8 foot trampoline which is adult waist height off the ground, on a sloping garden lawn, with no safety net around it.

Over the last year, two little girls in DD's class have broken their legs on trampolines.

Earlier this week, when we were discussing this visit to SIL, I said to DH that I really didn't want DD going on the trampoline because I was worried about her getting injured due to there not being a net around it.

Call me paranoid and ridiculous (and I'm sure many of you will), but this was a genuine concern for me. And surely this was his opportunity to say 'I think you're being paranoid and ridiculous, she will be fine'. But he didn't, he said 'yeah, OK, she won't'.

Anyway, they're back now and guess what, she's been trampolining all afternoon, with his full knowledge. And no, she hasn't broken her leg.

But given that I had specifically said that I didn't want her going on it, I'm a bit that he just let her anyway.

(As anyone who's read other posts of mine will know, I'm usually not the over-protective type, it's just because having seen two other girls in her class hobbling round on crutches, I wanted to remove that particular risk)

I also think that it is one thing to say 'no' in theory... and another thing entirely to say no when you are there, your child is nagging you to go on it, everyone is letting their child go on the trampoline and all the other children (some younger than yours) are playing happily and safely on the trampoline. In that scenario, you just look difficult or stupid making a fuss about not letting your child go on... particularly if they are making a fuss about wanting to go on.

I think you put him in a no win situation letting him take your DC to a house with a trampoline and cousins that were going to be on it. He has to say no to keep you happy - but that could make him appear rude and difficult, possibly even superior to those there... but if he says yes, then he gets it in the neck at home.

Try looking at it from his perspective.

Mmm, did your dh say 'yeah, OK, she won't' in response to the first part of your statement about not wanting dd to go on the trampoline, or did he say 'yeah, OK, she won't in response to the second part of your statement about not wanting her getting injured.
(almost in a 'stop worrying I will look after her but I am not willing to discuss it' way)

Either way - I think banning dd from going on a trampoline is wrong - children need to be exposed to a modicum of perceived danger so they learn to act in a safe manner. For instance, bouncing on an un-netted trampoline with an adult alongside telling her not to bounce too close to the edge is a good thing (in my book anyway)

FWIW, it is very common for little children to break a leg when trampolining with much bigger children: the surface of the trampoline comes up to meet them very forcefully if a teen has just bounced on it, and sends a shockwave up the leg via the foot which fractures the bone. No need to fall off or land awkwardly. Given that your SIL has three teens I think you could fairly ask DH not to let DD bounce when they are also bouncing. Rukes out a collision injury also.