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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not know whether to laugh or despair at this level of ignorance in a mum to be

56 replies

SebbysMum · 19/07/2009 19:01

In Mothercare this morning a young couple were bickering about the newborn clothes to buy for the bump. The mother was insistant that the clothes had to be pink and that there should be NO blue for her child. From what I could gather she was also wary of the neutral stuff. Her reasoning - "You wouldn't put a girl in blue would you, she could end up being gay".

OP posts:
hester · 19/07/2009 22:08

It's quite depressing how many mums have made comments to ME (I'm gay) about their boys liking pink, or playing with buggies or whatever, always presenting it as a kind of conspiratorial joke, like, "Ooh, should I be worried that this might make him gay?!" It seems perfectly ok still to see that as a bad outcome.

AppleandMosesMummy · 19/07/2009 22:25

NO I think hormones make people open their gobs where normally they'd keep them shut.

HecatesTwopenceworth · 20/07/2009 07:54

Ah. So hormones make an ignorant and homophobic person out themselves as such, when normally they'd pretend they weren't ignorant and homophobic?

Niiiiiiiice people.

Apple - you seem sweet, looking for a reason why someone would say such a thing, but sadly, it's probably just cos they're a twat.

Lucifera · 20/07/2009 08:31

Alistair, I love your mum's reply in the charity shop. And Chegirl's story is great too! Poetic justice!!

KingRolo · 20/07/2009 08:39

Unless my DD is wearing pink (or at a push yellow or orange) everyone thinks she's a boy.

I get loads of comments along the lines of 'Oh, he's a handsome chap' and 'What a lovely little laddie'. Very strange. She just looks like a baby to me, not a boy or a girl.

Botbot · 20/07/2009 08:47

DD (just three) was choosing a bike in Halfords yesterday. She wouldn't look at a pale blue one. 'But Mummy, girls like pink, and boys like blue,' she chanted. Who is teaching her this stuff? (may have to have a quiet word at her nursery...)

I pointed out that dp was wearing a pale pink shirt, which confused her somewhat.

harpsichordcarrier · 20/07/2009 08:48

well I grew up in the 70s and we wore brown/orange/red dungarees/trousers and at least some of us are heterosexual

KingRolo · 20/07/2009 09:06

Yes, it's amazing how many of us grew up to be heterosexual considering the lack of pink in the 70s.

(Botbot - I read that as pale pink skirt and though well, yes, I understand why she is confused!)

Blackduck · 20/07/2009 09:11

I am clearly a closet lesbian then as I hated pink (still do), rarely wore dresses and played with a train set.....

girlsyearapart · 20/07/2009 09:14

You hear some VERY odd conversations if you hang around in Mothercare long enough!
TBH though if I had a baby boy I wouldn't put him in pink. The dds as babies had a lot of pink and even when dressed head to toe in it still got asked if it was a boy or a girl..
Older boys in pink look fine though. The dds have lots of hand me downs from dn who is 7. Boys clothes seem to last a long time! Built for rough and tumble?

NoBiggy · 20/07/2009 09:37

It consistently surprises what makes a person gay.

For example, at work, if a man has a high regard for health and safety procedures, he's gay by all accounts. And I thought it was about being attracted to other men!

Shows what I know!

gagamama · 20/07/2009 09:39

Just to add to the 'blue used to be for girls and pink for boys' discussion, apparently pink came to stand for femininity during the war when (wait for it) the Nazis used pink triangles to identify homosexuals. So not only is it a new phenomenon, but it's a hangover of Nazi iconography. Nice.

My boys both wear pretty neutral colours and most of these have been handed down to DD. If ANY of my children wear pink, it's because they expressly want to.

crokky · 20/07/2009 09:40

I don't like the way very young children are being brainwashed by colour "rules".

My DS was 2.0 when DD was born. Most of her babygros were pink and I didn't think too much of it. I used a few bits of DS's old baby clothes on DD. She had a few pink toys as well. Anyway, when DD was a few months old, I reaslised that my 2yo DS really thought that everything pink in our house automatically belonged to DD and that everything else was his. He was probably correct and I had done this accidentally (most stuff for girls has pink somewhere on it!).

So now DD is 16m and DS is 3.4. As DD grew out of her pink clothes, I replaced them with other colours - I have now made sure that DD has no pink clothes whatsoever - she has red, navy, green, blue and yellow. She still looks like a girl and most of her clothes are from the girls' section but some of her clothes are DS's hand me downs and some were bought new for her from the boys' section. I have also tried to buy bright clothes for DS - red/green tops, navy trousers etc. I have also deliberately bought DS a pink bubble machine. He knows it is his and he knows it is pink. All he is really interested in is the bubbles. I think I have removed the colour stereotyping that he had picked up.

lol at colours making you gay though. I am just angry that 95% of stuff for girls is pink. Not in my house anymore! I was furious that I had accidentally brainwashed my 2yo DS into thinking that everything for girls is pink.

iwouldgoouttonight · 20/07/2009 10:12

I wonder how the woman in Mothercare is going to cope when her baby is old enough to choose what to wear itself. My DS (nearly three) INSISTS on wearing a pink fluffy scarf MIL knitted for me. All the time, even when its really warm out!

I'm not keen on it myself so at least someone's getting some use out of it!

iwouldgoouttonight · 20/07/2009 10:15

One of my colleagues is really into colour coding children. She has two girls and EVERYTHING in her house is pink. She's pregnant again and is really worried in case its a boy as she'll have to buy everything again in blue!

Is it wrong of me to hope its a boy just so I can giggle at her

Wonderstuff · 20/07/2009 10:29

When did all the pink/blue stuff start? My mum tells me 30 years ago almost all toys were gender neutral, I'm mainly in brown in baby photos..

AppleandMosesMummy · 20/07/2009 10:32

I colour code my children when you have more than 2 it's easier that way, one wears yellow, one wears lilac and one wears pink, it's the grey and black one that is the main concern.

ninedragons · 20/07/2009 11:12

I was with DD at the supermarket the other week. She was wearing pink trousers and a brown t-shirt with a helicopter on the front. A guy came up and said Hello little.....

I could see the cogs working in his head trying to calculate if I would be more likely to dress my son in pink trousers or my daughter in a helicopter t-shirt. He plumped for boy in the end.

belgo · 20/07/2009 11:14

@ninedragons

Shenaya23 · 20/07/2009 11:16

LOL at the OP...that is classic!

OMG i hope that because i've dressed DD in pink today she won't grow up thinking she's a princess

fizzpops · 20/07/2009 11:36

My daughter was dressed in jeans and a pink cardigan the other day and two people (on separate occasions) mistook her for a boy...

One of the people was French so I thought, maybe wrong English word? Maybe the French aren't as pink/blue divided as us?

The other was a man so engaging mouth before brain most likely.

She does have short hair but she is only 15 mths and hasn't had time to grow any more. Are girls not allowed to wear trousers or something?

crankytwanky · 20/07/2009 14:12

I deliberately put my dc1 into neutral colours so I could hand-down her clothes.

When my son was 9m, DP & MIL were horrified to see him playing with dds little people dolls house & her toy pushchair. He loved it, but they kept saying we should get him an airoplane or something! Wtf? He knows what a house, and a buggy is! He has no clue about an airoplane!
Everone thinks he's a girl anyway, even in "boyish" clothes; he's all big eyes and long blond curls!

StewieGriffinsMom · 20/07/2009 15:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GrendelsMum · 20/07/2009 21:14

Am I the only person actively hoping that their young relatives will grow up to be gay? I'm personally hoping that my nephew (who since the age of 4 has been commenting on women's dresses and accessories) is going to be a gay fashion designer and design me lots of lovely shoes and hats. My niece can be a lesbian engineer, if she likes.

Wonderstuff · 20/07/2009 21:41

I don't really have any hopes about my young relatives sexuality! I think that you can be straight and a male designer or female engineer.