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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed ds spent afternoon in tattoo parlour?

61 replies

amateurmum · 18/07/2009 20:39

After tennis session this morning, ds aged 8 was invited to go to friend's house to play. Friend's mum said she had some shopping to do first and would take boys with her.

Picked ds up this afternoon and he told me that after supermarket, he and friend joined friend's stepfather at tattoo place and waited while tattoo was finished.

Don't really know why this upsets me - but do feel this is rather unsuitable activity for play date!

OP posts:

Original poster

amateurmum · 18/07/2009 22:00

Well, friend's mum did say she needed to go to supermarket first which was fine with me.

I probably would have been a bit surprised if she had taken them to hairdressers afterwards but, no, would not have been annoyed by this in the same way.

I do NOT have a problem with people choosing to have tattoos but surely this is an adult activity and environment and not really a place to take 8 year olds. However, I am clearly in the minority, so perhaps IABU!

OP posts:

ingles2 · 18/07/2009 22:01

but the mother didn't say she needed to go to the tattoo parlour she said she need to pop to the supermarket..
If a mum said to me, I've got to go to the hairdressers I'd say don't worry, we'll do it another time, or offer to take the child to mine instead,
I wouldn't let another mother take my child to any of those places because it's bloody boring and not a playdate at all

slowreadingprogress · 18/07/2009 22:35

yanbu

It's also about what aspirations you hope to give your kids. I don't like tattoos therefore would not want my son to spend time in a tatoo parlour at 8 years old. If he wants one as an adult; no problem at all, his body, his taste. But I wouldn't choose to 'normalise' it for my son at this age.

Have no problem with those who do like tattoos but personally, no I would be feeling the same as you amateur.

Also a hairdresser visit and a tattoo are not comparable imo. A tattoo is a real life and lifestyle choice - a woman taking a couple of 8 year olds to have a few layers cut in is NOT the same thing at all

Paolosgirl · 18/07/2009 22:52

How long did he have to wait? If it was 10 minutes or so, and they then went back to the friend's house to play, then I'd not be overly concerned, but am a bit puzzled why you would ask another child over to play and then go supermarket shopping . I'm not a fan of tattoos (heard the term tramp stamps recently and think it sums them up beautifully), and would probably have a long chat with my son when I got him home.

Loshad · 18/07/2009 22:56

YANBU
what an odd thing to do - invite a child to play and take them shopping followed by waiting in a tatto parlour - why did they bother to invite him? that's aside from the issues with a tatto parlour - i wouldn't be happy if my 15 yo said he'd been in one, never mind an 8 yo.

ChocFudgeCake · 19/07/2009 17:11

I would be annoyed too and would think it twice before allowing DS out with this friend again. Maybe I would host the playdates?

Devendra · 19/07/2009 17:20

Oh for gods sake it was hardly a lap dancing club or a brothel. Loads of people have tattoos these days.. The shops are clean, well run and very interesting. YABU.

AgentCodyBanks · 19/07/2009 17:21

god how rough are your kids mates parents?

tearinghairout · 19/07/2009 17:25

Agree with slowreadingprogress:

"It's also about what aspirations you hope to give your kids. I don't like tattoos therefore would not want my son to spend time in a tattoo parlour"

kittykat21 · 19/07/2009 17:31

I think I would have been anoyed that my son was taken there without my concent but I wouldnt worry that it would affect him in anyway. Im sure he will make up his own mind about them when he is older and its an incident in the past so what matters now is how you deal with it. I have tattoos myself (discreet ones and they are not chav stamps theyre very pretty!) but I personaly would not take my children to a place like that. As for a play date yes it probably was abit inapropriate but next time just ask the mother if they are going straight home then either agree or disagree to the play date.

Andthentherewerethree · 19/07/2009 17:34

gosh am at some of the comments on this thread. i agree that an 8 year old should not have been taken to a tattoo studio without his/her parents express consent, even though they are highly unlikely to have seen anything other than posters/photos of tattoos.
However is ther really any need to call tehm tramp stamps/chav stamps and making sweeping assumptions about the people who have them. i thought people were more open minded these days and realsied that not all peopel who have tattoos are criminals or bad people, seems i am wrong!

yappybluedog · 19/07/2009 17:40

most tattoos look awful though

Andthentherewerethree · 19/07/2009 17:50

sorry spelling worse than usual due to 3yr old trying to type with me and terrible heartburn

mustrunmore · 19/07/2009 17:52

It sounds as though they just agreed to meet there, and he over ran a bit, hence the wait for him to finish. So not the mum's fault. If hewas getting a tattoo done, it might've been hard to judge finish time, even at that stage.

I agree that parental permission would have been a courtesy, but perhaps the Mum just didint think so. Imagine the call 'hello, its just me, am standing in front of tattoo studio, is it ok to take your son in or shall we wait on the street?' Its a bit of a n odd call.

I've just explained to ds2 btw, who is 5.5. He said it was a bad idea because if there werent many pattern books to look at then it might have been boring for a playdate, but if the tattooist did have lots of books, photos and examples it would have been intereesting enough, and if the boy is 8 then he is old enough to know he cant get one until he is 18

mustrunmore · 19/07/2009 17:54

Andthentherewerethree... there's always a good tattoo debate around, unfortunately

yappybluedog · 19/07/2009 18:10

I don't think people who have tatts are criminals or bad (well, not all of them , but why does nearly EVERYONE have them?

Be really original & individual and don't have one

Noonki · 19/07/2009 18:12

if it was a chinese symbol being done YANBU as exposing children to cliches is something I want to avoid at all costs

but yabu to use the term playdate as it makes me shudder.

paisleyleaf · 19/07/2009 18:12

the is like having a tattoo is something people can't help.

mustrunmore · 19/07/2009 18:15

Well I love mine. And no chinese takeaway menu anywhere on me

Andthentherewerethree · 19/07/2009 18:32

i love mine too! i have them in discreet places and they are very pretty. i am a sahm now but was a profeesional within the nhs when working, dh has a very professional job as director of a company but i guess most would be shocked if they saw him in shortsleeves.

AgentCodyBanks · 19/07/2009 18:33

they make me think

ROUGH

KIMItheThreadSlayer · 19/07/2009 18:46

I think it was an odd play date choice.
I hate tattoos and I would not have one as I think you brand cattle not people.
My sister however (city banker) has a BF who is training to tattoo and he talked her in to having one, (I did ask her if she was getting a staf or pit bull to go with it ) .

Love the term chav stamp.

I think some are quite nicely done though and if it is what someone wants to do, have lots of ink drilled in to their skin then so be it.

flaminhell · 19/07/2009 18:51

Not that bad, I can understand you being a little aghast, but I am of the opinion that the more our children see of life and its many varied colours, people, and the reality of others lifes that it makes them a more rounded healthier person. I mean if it had of been David Beckham would it have been as horrifying, I dont know, maybe its the unknown that scares you. I have no tattoos but the majority of my friends do and they are all good honest people who go to these places, so YANBU but it wont do any harm, I dont think!!

ravenAK · 19/07/2009 21:17

I like my tattoo.

& I am most emphatically neither a 'chav' nor a 'tramp', nor do I make snidey comments about how other people choose to present themselves if I can avoid it.

Frankly, I'd prefer it if tattoos hadn't become quite so mainstream: too many crap tattoos about, too many ignorant numpties making silly assumptions as a result.

Anyway.

I think the OP has a point tbh. Many (most?) tattoo parlours don't let kids in - to avoid hordes of nosey underage PITAs rather than to keep out customers' dc! - which doesn't mean there's anything sordid going on.

But it's still an 'adult' activity - my own ds is nearly 5, a bit freaked out by needles &/or blood - if I were to get another tattoo I'd not want him around in case it upset him. I certainly wouldn't be inviting his friends in!

Paolosgirl · 20/07/2009 18:30

If you don't make snidey comments, then why the "ignorant numpties"?

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