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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross with MIL

20 replies

Ferncottage · 15/07/2009 21:16

MIL came to stay for the weekend to attend an event in a town near us. She had been telling us for some time that we could all come and there would be events for children. Turned out that it wasn't appropriate so she and dh went leaving me all day with the children and no plans. GRRRR

OP posts:
aGalChangedHerName · 15/07/2009 21:18

Your DH went???

I'd be bloody livid At both of them btw.

bigchris · 15/07/2009 21:20

i would have been glad of the time off!!

gingernutlover · 15/07/2009 21:25

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr you ANBU

although I would also be very annoyed at DH

aGalChangedHerName · 15/07/2009 21:25

Would you really bigchris?? I have the dc on my own a lot as it is and if DH fucked off with the bitchfromhell M-I-l and left me lumbered with the dc i'd be pissed!!

costagirl · 15/07/2009 21:28

6 days after I'd had DS2 my MIL came and picked up DH and drove him to her family's party 40 miles away. Drove him so he could drink, and ignored the fact that I had said we weren't going as too soon with tiny baby and 4 year old. I was furious and refused to speak to her. He does whatever he blardy well likes anyway. YANBU

Niftyblue · 15/07/2009 21:37

I would be so
MIL has done this too and left me at home with 2 small dcs
We live away so she had come to visit
So she could have DH all to her self for the day
I never have Dh to myself in the time since we moved away

In fact she e-mailed me today to say that she got the impression DH had`nt enjoyed his holiday away with me and my side of the family (my parents and brothers family).
We only got back yesterday !

And he did actually suggest we all do it again next year

MILS are so annoying

bigchris · 15/07/2009 21:41

yes! i'd rather mil be anywhere where i'm not!!

Original poster
Ferncottage · 16/07/2009 08:22

thank you all feel better for the solidarity!

OP posts:
SlytherinStretch · 16/07/2009 08:28

I'm sorry costagirl, but You are joking?! I'm surprised you spoke to your DH after that!

YANBU OP either!! Your DH was happy to just go and leave you in the lurch?

Bloody hellfire!

SlytherinStretch · 16/07/2009 08:28

I'm sorry costagirl, but You are joking?! I'm surprised you spoke to your DH after that!

YANBU OP either!! Your DH was happy to just go and leave you in the lurch?

Bloody hellfire!

SlytherinStretch · 16/07/2009 08:29

Whoops!

zeke · 16/07/2009 08:32

What are all these women [MIL's] thinking?!

I will always remember when MIL, FIL and DH left me (no word) in our holiday cottage to clean it and left behind my just turned 3 yr old DC, too. We certainly won't be inviting them along on OUR holiday again (no, they did not do any babysitting, if that is what you are wondering - just thought it would be nice). Nice to pay for absolutely everything, pick up after them and then be left to clean up with child, too. Nice.

4andnotout · 16/07/2009 08:35

I no longer talk to my MIL after she called me flouncy after i dared answer back to BIL who was about to punch me

But enough about me..

YANBU! I would also be greatly arsed off with dp for going!

sleeplessinstretford · 16/07/2009 08:39

as long as the rancid old bitch is nowhere near me I am happy.
Mine was literally plying DP with booze at the babies christening (she barely drinks and he doesn't need a lot of encouragement) I have no idea why she would do that-other than the fact she's a bitch.
He took the baby to visit her at christmas for a couple of days which she loved (as i didn't go) i will not be letting that happen again until she has been to my home and behaved towards me-seriously-yours sounds a walk in the park compared to mine.

Trikken · 16/07/2009 09:06

YANBU I too would be majorly pissed, as like some of the others I look after ds full time so would see family being around us as time for us all to do something fun together.

ErnestTheBavarian · 16/07/2009 09:12

Some of these actions are bad, but why be so angry at mil, rather than the dh who should have said no.

and why be angry at mil wanting to spend time with dh. He is her son after all. Does that mean once married a woman may never enjoy her son't company again? I don't mean being thoughtless towards dil, but seriously, any hint of mil seems to bring our so much spitefulness. SO in a few years can I expect never to see my 3 sons again without someone bitching about what an evil cow I am to want to spend time with my ds?

Hate these mil moans. Must block them. Sorry, most of you sound totally unreasonable to me.

sleeplessinstretford · 16/07/2009 09:15

yeah, i thought so to until i met mine-she's vile,rude,shit stirring,hurtful and just not a very nice person really.

sameagain · 16/07/2009 10:16

I'm sure YANBU, but as a test for reasonable reaction to MIL action, how would you have reacted if it had been a friend of yours/DH?

She's arranged to go to the event, believing it would be suitable for all of you to go, realised her mistake at the last minute.....?

DrunkenDaisy · 16/07/2009 10:30

Can I have a rant too:

It really fucks me off that whenever we see the PiLs we pay for EVERYTHING. I feel really ashamed for thinking this, but it's begining to take the piss.

Me and DH only work for the public sector so we're not loaded, and it really pisses me off that MiL NEVER had a job but lets DH spend so much cash on them. Meanwhile I work my arse off full-time and look after my DD. Harrumph.

randomtask · 16/07/2009 10:31

I agree your MIL shouldn't have done that, but neither should your DH!!

Why the hell would you all blame your MIL's for 'taking DH away' when he's obviously a grown man and should know where his loyalties lie?!

I've had MIL issues but DH has always maintained that WE are the family unit and backed us up. He would never do something without the rest of us without agreeing it first.

I regularly pop to my parents house (on the way home) for a little while and DH is free to do that too. Then we do everything else as a family. So we see each others family's but also get our time to be DC IYSWIM.

Just amazed you're all willing to blame the MIL but seem to be ignorant or accepting of the fact your DH's were an equal part of the problem.

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