To think DP should just stop being and ignorant sod and just take him

[shinyshoes]

Our children are doing clubs next week. One is 12yo and is having to travel about 30 minutes on the bus to ge there. The other is being driven there as he is 8 yo and dosen't go on buses by himself yet.

Both have to be there at 10.00 am both on opposite sides of town and me starting work at 10.15. I don't mind walking to work, whilst he uses the car to take themit's within walking distance and suggested that he drops DS1 off around 20 minutes earlier so he can run the other one to his club for 10.00am He said 'no, DS 1 can get the bus' Now i'm a bit about DS 1 getting the bus into a particulary rough area by himself. I'd rather drop them off myself and be late for work.

This insued in a massive row this morning saying that DS1 gets the bus into town by himself and it's only an extra 10 minutes on the same bus.

It's not that, it's a bit of a rough area and told him that if I took him he wouldn't be having the car that day as i'd have to travel at the speed of light to get to work after dropping them off.

Why can't he just get it through his ignorant skull that I don't want my 12yo going by himself on a bus in an area he is not familiar with that's dodgy.

AIBU?

What's going to happen to him at 9.00 in the morning?

Still a bit at "colourful"

YABU

Let him catch the bus

Why are things more dangerous these days than when you were young? Assuming he will be on the bus and not negotiating busy roads.

How does your DS feel? Is he happy to get the bus or is he a bit worried?
I would charge up his phone and tell him to call you when he gets there but don't keep phoning him or he'll have to keep getting his phone out, which will attract attention to it.
I think you are probably being a bit over anxious (totally understandable though, my Ds1 is 9 and I'm sure I will be the same when he is old enough to travel alone)
However, your DP is being a bit of an arse too. It wouldn't hurt him to take ds1 - or is he trying to make a point?

I'd let him get the bus. I think a normal 12-year-old should be cabable of that (and I have a DS-12 and DS13). I don't get the 'colourful' thing either.

Does a parent have to sighn a 12 year old in? I know that around that under 16's have to be registered on the first day of clubs then they go by themselves the rest of the time.

oooh good point mumeee I hadn't thought of that.

Perhaps if I tell DP that he might HAVE to take him .

I have been thinking about all the comments made and am still undecided I could never forgive myself if he got lost in a place I feel is unsafe and a place he is not familiar with. He panics and dosen't think logically sometimes. I will not be letting him go the first day though.

BTW re the 'colourful' thing. I perhaps am using it in the wrong context. To me colourful means offensive or obscene, vulgar that kind of thing, ie using colourful language I was trying to portray the state of the area. Perhaps I am using the euphanism in the wrong way.

That's the last time I will use that euphanism as I have asked for advice and I am feeling a little, I don't know as if people are trying to read something that isn't there or just being pedantic knowing full well what i'm trying to say but am findng hard to get the point across.

Do the ystab people on buses in the middle of the day in this 'area'?

If not yabu he's 12 not 2, i'm not so sure life is more dangerous now either.

How do you expect him to stop panicing and thinking logically when his mum does the same?

Sounds like your DP is thinking ahead by saying he'll do the journey with DS beforehand so he'll know where to get off.

Sorry, I really don't see what the problem is. As others have asked, what does DS think?

I haven't actually asked him

Hmm I don't know.

Where i live now, I would be fine letting my 12 year old DD get the bus. but when i lived in South London there were places I would and places I wouldn't let her go.

One afternoon, I was sexually harrassed by what looked like a 12 year old buy, who then threatened to set me on fire if he ever saw me again, after I tried to stop him.

(Also, the entire bus was packed and nobody tried to help me - too scared of knives/guns i guess).