Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

another school one-think i may have overstepped the mark this time...

82 replies

sleeplessinstretford · 13/07/2009 18:42

dd is in year 9, at 11.20 this morning I received a text message from school saying 'your daughter was absent from registration this morning-please explain via text where she is' to which I replied 'dd left for school at 745-is she not there now or was she just late as depending on which one this is i will either have to discipline her for poor time keeping or ring the police'

this is the 4th time that i have had words with them about the same thing. DD shouldn't have been late but surely there's some way of cross referencing whether the kids were actually late or in the ICU? When
ever I have rung school to ask if she's there they have to then go and check up.
AIBU (and as i know i am not ) would you then follow up this matter with a letter to the head?

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 13/07/2009 19:12

good point, i would ring them and ask them if she is there

VietnameseCobbler · 13/07/2009 19:12

what the fuck is an ICu?

adn dont TEXT a school ffs
imagine " oh yes my daughter was missing so i texted school"

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 13/07/2009 19:15

I would call and ask if dd was there because I dropped her off at the door in plenty of time. In fact I did this only last week. They checked and called back. dd had run an errand and missed her mark. I didn't feel it necessary to 'have words' with anyone. I was grateful that they'd checked up.

tennisaddict · 13/07/2009 19:17

viet, are you having a bad day love...
your aggressive stance is rather jarring

Original poster

sleeplessinstretford · 13/07/2009 19:17

my dd was late.she will be bollocked for it- however-prior to sending the tex could they not have checked to see had the missing kids arrived first? late is one thing-missing for a few houra is another. when i eventually heard back from the school (dd's phone didn't answer as she was in school so i couldn't locate her) they said they'd seen her and she'd been late and had apologised.
I don't see why the 'she was late today'text has to be so fucking alarming, i am aware that statistically she's likely to be find but for someone to say 'dd is missing' (bearing in mind i've not actually seen her since 9pm last night as i left the house early and summised she was up/alive as the bathroom was flooded and i was choked on hairspray...)
i am really not PFB-i just think it's a flawed system.
I know i am not wrong with my reply-i just wonder if writing to them to follow it up is ott?
and of course i wasn't going to call the police but if i was a more hyper/worried parent i might have done,hence my totally over egged texted reply...

OP posts:

tennisaddict · 13/07/2009 19:18

saggar, some people have to leave for work before their dc go to school

so they don't see with their own eyes that they actually arrived at the door

Bumperslucious · 13/07/2009 19:19

VC she was asked to text back. The OP is pissed off because the were asking were she (her DD) was when she was clearly (if they had just checked) at school. Meanwhile parent is shitting themselves wondering where their DC is if not at school.

OP YANBU. It's all very well saving time but if your child has disappeared you might prefer a phonecall with a more detailed explanation.

duckyfuzz · 13/07/2009 19:19

Yet another example of schools being damned if they do and damned if they don't. Who'd be a teacher?

CyradisTheSeer · 13/07/2009 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

lou33 · 13/07/2009 19:21

i got a message like that once saying dd1 was not at school, and i had dropped her to the gates in my car

i panicked and called them

turned out she had attended registration but they just marked her down as not there

i wasnt very happy

tennisaddict · 13/07/2009 19:21

sleepless, I agree with your frustration, but I wouldn't follow it up if I were you

perhaps you could have a chat at the next parents evening or something, along the lines of how distressing you found it to get that text with no explanation that she had actually arrived

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 13/07/2009 19:21

I think checking first in primary is perfectly reasonable (we do it). But in secondary it could take a good long time because you may have several children to check on and they often all go in different directions after registration.

Original poster

sleeplessinstretford · 13/07/2009 19:21

am i texting english here?
I don't expect school to find her.
i just expect to hear that she is there rather than missing...sheesh

and viet- you are scaring me a tad-step away from the keyboard (they use text to communicate-and if you call the attendance officer they then have to go and check timetables and find dd before they can let you know they are actually there but were late-which can take some time...first time she did it was the longest half hour whilst they located her)

OP posts:

SlartyBartFast · 13/07/2009 19:22

i had a phone call when ds was at primary, 11 ish, askign where he was, i had dropped him off, i was really worried by that phone call, she rung me back to say he hadnt signed the late book.
never again -was- -he- -late- did he miss signing the late book!

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 13/07/2009 19:23

Absolutely tennis - so all the more reason for school to contact the parent, and confirm said child has made his way to school or not.

I don't see what the fuss is about.

hocuspontas · 13/07/2009 19:26

If this is the 4th time, is dd not signing the late book?

Original poster

sleeplessinstretford · 13/07/2009 19:30

she has been in registration once but marked absent (!?) two times she was signed in the late book so they clearly don't double check and once she was late and ran to first lesson to avoid a bollocking.
she's a dippy cow and is,i suspect,meeting loves young dream on the way to school,as she's currently grounded... she's about to be grounded longer i think...

OP posts:

unknownrebelbang · 13/07/2009 19:30

I've had this once when DS1 missed registration for legitimate reasons.

Yes, it was a heart-stopping moment (he goes on the school bus) but I rang the school who then had to check, and of course he was there.

I just don't get the outrage, especially if it's happened before.

My friend used to deal this at a local school with high absenteeism, and it was a huge part of her working day. The automated system isn't perfect, but eg 5% absenteeism at my son's school equates to about 40 children, at a small secondary with good attendance levels. At a larger school (double the size maybe) with bad absenteeism rates you could be talking 100+ pupils, lots of whom wouldn't have had their parents ringing in to inform the school why they were absent.

2shoes · 13/07/2009 19:42

so get her to text you, saying she has arrived

Livylugs · 13/07/2009 19:48

I'm a little confused! Whose fault is it that she was late? The schools? Who are you angry with - your child or the school? If your child doesn't turn up at school whose fault is that? 4th time late? Is it a nightmare journey - lots of buses?
understand that you might not like the text but was it the schools fault that your daughter was late?
Who would work in a school these days? They seem to get blamed for everything!

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 13/07/2009 19:48

School should have a policy where late children go and inform the receptionist that tehy've arrived.

tennisaddict · 13/07/2009 19:52

good idea stripey, or a late book in lieu of missing registration

then all it takes is a quick check/call before the text goes to the parent

Saggarmakersbottomknocker · 13/07/2009 19:53

They may well have that policy stripey - doesn't mean the children will go and do it. Especially if they are regularly late and get a detention for totting up late marks.

chickchickchickee · 13/07/2009 20:02

It sounds like you are all on the same page but also miles apart.

I took it to mean the OP thought the school were fine for texting, but the WORDING of the text they sent was the issue?

Not the school texting her, not it being her job or not to know where her DD is, just the implication of the text that her daughter wasn't at school full stop, not just late.

If I received a text that could be read to mean my child hadn't arrived somewhere, then yes, I would probably start imagining the worst!!

Surely the school can come across a solution whereby they can send one of two texts : one that says your child didn't arrive on time, please sort it, and one that says your child isn't here, please confirm they are absent??

Original poster

sleeplessinstretford · 13/07/2009 20:03

she gets the metrolink to school which is often 'down' however she leaves an hour to travel a journey that can be done in 40mins,it's absolutely her fault that she was late.I am angry with the school for having a system that doesn't check if the kids are there before texting-3hours after school has started to say 'your kid's missing' and then can't confirm (without checking up)that she is there.
a text to say 'she was late' is one thing, a message to say 'where the fuck's your kid' is another isn't it?
tries to do 'until i am blue in the face explaining that i am going to bollock dd for being late and am only pissed off with the wording/lack of cross referencing that goes on' emoticon
i can't be the only person who reacts like that to 'the text' amongst the 750 parents at the school..

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread