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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to report my vicar (to whoever you report vicars to)

36 replies

dilemma456 · 12/07/2009 14:20

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growingup · 12/07/2009 14:21

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Greensleeves · 12/07/2009 14:21

report him to the bishop

and the school's governors

and your MP - cc all the letters to everyone, so nobody can hush it up

hypocritical tosswank

Mamulik · 12/07/2009 15:36

may be you should go to another church? I always wonder how many churches in England, on every street.

Qally · 12/07/2009 15:41

Email him saying you've been pondering his advice and asking what kind of donation size he'd recommend, all apologetically and sincerely - that way, if he replies, or even doesn't say "are you insane?!" in the reply, you have evidence of the conversation to send to the Bishop.

treedelivery · 12/07/2009 15:45

Was he being sarcastic as he's drained by the reason for his full house? We can only hope so. Yak!

PeachyTheRiverParrettHarlot · 12/07/2009 15:47

mamulik its all a hangover from the past, average congregation is about 11!

Qally's suggestion is right, email him. And yes, appalling behaviour

famishedass · 12/07/2009 15:57

He was being sarcastic.

Katz · 12/07/2009 15:59

i'd put money on him being sarcastic, most vicars i know have very dry sense of humours and would have responded to you comment similarly.

violethill · 12/07/2009 16:07

Sounds like he's even more cynical than you OP!
Def think he's being sarcastic here.

ThingOne · 12/07/2009 16:08

I suspect he was joking.

weegiemum · 12/07/2009 16:13

If he was being serious report him to the bishop's office.

I would like to think that he was being sarcastic, but the fact that there were no school-age kids there does make me . Is he known for signing off church attendance without you having to actually be there?

The fact that there were no kids there at all would also make me wonder if it does anything much for kids and would you be better off going (if you do go) somewhere else that does have a good programme for kids. Maybe even somewhere non church of England ???.

poface · 12/07/2009 16:18

he must have been being sarcastic, no? It would seem a logical riposte to your observation about only under school age children being at church...Unless he is very stupid.

ilovemydogandmrobama · 12/07/2009 16:25

I can't believe he was being serious. Obviously you were there and can judge whether he was being dry to the point of totally arid, but here's an idea. He is obviously fed up with parents playing the system and knowing how to get their children into the C of E school, so they play the game. He is exasperated by it all, and makes an equally cynical remark.

Cannot believe a vicar would being so overtly corrupt, and the most probable explanation is that it was tongue in cheek.

Ask him the next time you're at mass. What about, 'brought my checkbook..'.how much was that donation to secure DD's place...'

Original poster
dilemma456 · 12/07/2009 16:27

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Original poster
dilemma456 · 12/07/2009 16:31

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piscesmoon · 12/07/2009 16:31

I would think it was tongue in cheek and a dry sense of humour.

hocuspontas · 12/07/2009 16:48

Wouldn't older children be in Sunday School? Could this be why there were only pre-schoolers?

Agree - he MUST have been being sarcastic. He's probably fretting about getting a call from the bishop now

Original poster
dilemma456 · 12/07/2009 16:50

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growingup · 12/07/2009 17:46

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morningpaper · 12/07/2009 17:51

He was being sarcastic because everyone turns up to get them into the school

Vicars are 90% sarcasm, 10% burying old people

GrendelsMum · 12/07/2009 17:58

Am I right in thinking that it's you that's the regular at the church, and the DD who doesn't usually come? If so, he might have thought that you were pointing out that people only seemed to go to church until they get into the school, and he was being equally cynical in reply. And then you didn't laugh... He's probably spent the day going "oh no, she actually believed me..."

LilyAllensThirdNipple · 12/07/2009 17:59

OP
utter rubbish
i reckon he was taking the piss

LilyAllensThirdNipple · 12/07/2009 18:00

my dad once refused to sign a letter sating a kid was a regular attender

the dad was aghast

Smithagain · 12/07/2009 18:35

He was being sarcastic. And probably cheesed off at the knowledge that several of the children in his congregation are not there for overly spiritual reasons.

Also, there are quite a few churches who struggle to retain children over pre-school age, if they don't run a decent children's programme. What was on offer for older children?

donnie · 12/07/2009 18:41

yes, definitely sarcasm....he will be fed up with irritating parents who suddenly 'find God' when their children are 3 years old, only to suddenly lose the faith when they get into the school. And who can blame him? there are loads of parents like that at our church and they are soooo obvious they may as well have a sign round their necks!