To ask for monetary gifts for our weddin?

[TotallyAndUtterlyPaninied]

Everyone keeps asking what we want but we've lived together 2 years and have kids, we've got everything really. We'd rather just have the money and put it towards landscaping the garden or new curtains or a holiday or something, we're skint at the best of times.

Now I know it's terrible ettiquette, but we are getting married abroad and just having a wedding party at home, and I'm just writing the invites and thinking of putting this:

'We want your presence not your presents; however, if you should wish to grace us with a gift, we have lived together for two years and have everything we need, but a monetary gift towards home improvements would be much appreciated.'

I'm prepared to be stoned, I don't care. I just need to know whether it is too rude to do this.

Oh dear. Be prepared! There was a thread about this a while back and it got quite heated.

I personally have no problem with a request for money in place of a gift but many people do. I think in the end it's up to how well you know the people coming.

(Btw I wouldn't use that phrasing. It's a bit twee, I think)

Best of luck!

Oh I don't care honetly I just don't want to send something that's going to offend people and this is the best place to find out if that's the case!

I don't think its rude.

i hate requests for money, but then i hate requests for wedding presents at all. If you want to landscape the garden could you ask for garden centre vouchers if asked.

I loathe that "We want your presence not your presents" phrase - it's twee and over-used.

I think it would probably go down better if you picked a specific project - either the garden or the holiday - rather than a general "we need your cash" approach. So you're asking for help/vouchers for something specific, IYSWIM.

friends of ours have asked for contributions to their home improvement project, or if people are not happy doing that, then they have an amazon wish list for smaller items - it seems less offensive to me than a gift list with john lewis, where EVERYTHING costs the earth...

Haven't you posted this already??

Actually, not only is this a duplicate thread, but on the other one the issue has been resolved

I despise any monetary request. I think it is really rude and a lot of people will be pissed off if you ask for money. If you have any unwanted presents sell them on Ebay.

i dont care
i aint coming.

Rather than asking for cold hard cash which , lets be honest you could buy your food shopping with, ask for grden Centre vouchers, or Homebase vouchers, so at least guests feel you will be getting something concrete (or slate, I have no idea of your garden design) with their money.

I'll come and bring 50 people if I get a cut of their contributions. Credit crunch and all that

Yes, I think it is too rude I'm afraid.

When dh and I got married we didn't have a wedding list.
We ended up with a few presents(I don't care what anyone says, an extra kettle or towels always come in handy) but most people gave us money or vouchers anyway.

I did put on the other thread that ds had pressed buttons and it had posted twice at the same time.

i don't really get why people get so annoyed about wedding lists! it is up to the people getting married after all... and why on earth would anyone want to waste their time and money on something that the recipients might just ebay??? why is that more 'personal' and loving?? plus i would have thought in these eco-sensitive times it's the right thing and responsible to avoid unwanted gifts. FYI we asked people for money that we could spend on wonderful meals on our honeymoon. so it wasn't just any old cash that would go on the groceries - and we sent them postcards detailing the amazing food their gift had gone on.

that sounded a bit pompous sorry! but you get my point