To refuse to do any more of DDs feckng project for her.

[EccentricaGallumbits]

I hate projects with a fecking passion.

Every time I need to force her to take some sort of interest.

I do hours of researching for her and with her, with huge amounts of enthusiasm and encouragemment.

I take her on trips to the library.

I take her to relevent places (Museums, ,mountains, etc)

I buy her equipment.

I buy her books and read them to her.

I help her plan

I remind her to do bits of work

Then it comes up to the week before the fecking masterpiece has to be handed in.

DD gets more and more upset, anxious, frustrated.

She demands more help.

She throws things aound.

She rips up work because it isn't good enough.

She shouts

She swears

She expects me to start all over again and do all the work for her.

She pushes me until I loose my temper then twists it all around to make me feel bad about not helping her enough.

She has now been shouting, crying, swearing and screaming at me for 2 hours.

I have my own work I need to be doing. I don't care about what greek buildings were like.

I am not a builder nor an engineer.

I don't know how to fix one piece of cardboard onto another.

I can not do it. Every fecking time this happens and i swear next time i won't be doing it again.

every time i tell her i can't help her because she has to do some work for herself.

I am considering copying ths into an email to the fecking school.

This is why I do not educate her at home.

I am not a good teacher. I don't want to be a teacher. I send her to school to do this stuff because I don't like it and nor does she..

It is not good for family life or our relationship.

I have an hour before I have to go to work and have spent the whole sodding morning coaxing her along and fending off brewing arguments and now it has all exploded. Once again our limited time together as a family has been spoilt.

Sounds like you've had a really really bad day. my dds (as far as iknow so far) have no suspected SN and you have cited the reasons why I do not wish to HE!

I hope Tuesday brings you some answers.

I think she said she is year 6 - but is it really too much for a year 6 pupil to write a few pages about greek buildings and then make one out of cardboard tubes and paper? I would think my 8 year old could do that.

I think you need to speak to the school, I help my children (13 and 8) but if they behaved to me the way your child has to you they would get no help at all.

Let her fail it is the only way she will learn not to behave like this

that's really helpfu C&Lsmum. Makes me feel a whole lot better about this morning.

Does she have learning issues as well as behaviour issues EG?

What level is she?

can she do work if it is responding to clear questions that she knows the answer to and she just has to write the answer because that is a very different skill to doing a project isn't it?

The person I found most helpful with my ds was the school nurse. She knew all the different agenciesI could talk to. Am not saying not to go to the paed appt, they might be better than mine, but its worth asking if you have a nurse you can talk to. DD will be ok, concentrate on the good stuff. A project really doesnt matter that much.

V. selfsatisfied post CLM. My 9 year old could not and would not.
I used to scream and shout at my mum when I did projects at 13. It is anxiety that the school creates in this particular child, and in you, and you have every right to go to school and ask them to support you even if most children could build a Greek Temple at 6 years.
Maybe it IS an issue between you and yr dd, but the school should still help you unravel it, not compound it.

DS (9) is quite bright, does not have SEN.

He would definitely throw mega-paddies if asked to do a project outside of hours, and would quite possibly produce shoddy project work if anything. His attitude is that he's in school, working reasonably hard, 6 hours/day, that should be enough of his time allocated to them.

I think OP, it's perfectly okay if you let go on the project thing; let her sink or swim for a while. Sometimes failure can be the making of somebody; I never worked hard in school until I almost failed English age 14; I needed that as a wake-up call to start making an effort.

One of things I noticed about projects that my child found difficult was the openended ness, whereas if the teacher had set bits of it to be handed in every 4 days he would have coped much better, and produced far more.
No doubt lots of childen welcome the chance to explore things in depth at their own pace but that doesn't suit all children.

I would leave it to her and only help if requested as in 'could you take me to the library please' or 'how should I organise it'.If she doesn't request, then don't help.

EccentricG thats great news that you have an appointment on tuesday! .It will be a starting point to get the support that your dd (and you ) need! well done on getting that sorted . Its often the first appointment thats the hardest ,and may leave you feeling "what now?".The thing to remember is that everyone who gets involved from now will be focused on getting whats best for your dd!
I totally understand where you are with "pretending everythings fine".... i have in the past thrown out the HV, stormed out of gps and argued with many a teacher ,mainly because i was refusing to believe my dd has SN.... After a while you dont think about it in the same way.its not the disaster that you'd once feared... K is still my baby, she's just herself and she's much loved by all who know her.
You've had a rough morning, dont be too hard on yourself x