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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If you're not coming tell the flippin truth

17 replies

junglist1 · 12/07/2009 11:00

Had a Body Shop party Friday, 3 people let me down, who were meant to be good mates. No call, ignored my phone call, nothing. The next day one of them sent me a text chatting about no credit to call me (lies) and how her man has treated her badly all week, trying to turn my anger into sympathy (they have been arguing yes, but it's not abusive). Am I being unreasonable to dump the snake, especially as she only rings when she wants something?

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famishedass · 12/07/2009 11:11

It's annoying I know.

Don't bother dumping your friend. On a couple of occasions when two of my friends started to turn into the "only ring when they want something" type - I actually said to them when they rang "oh, what is it you want this this time" in a joking manner. They soon stopped doing it.

Are you sure you don't only ring them when you have a body shop party though? Coz one of my friends was like this. In fact I got so fed up of it that one time when she rang I said "what you selling now" before she had a chance to say anything and she said "how do you know I'm selling something"

junglist1 · 12/07/2009 11:11

Well Junglist, I think you sound too good for her and you should get rid

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SoWhat · 12/07/2009 11:13
Hmm
junglist1 · 12/07/2009 11:14

i used to call her quite a bit just to chat, until I clocked on. It was the way she asked for things, like having a conversation first pretending to be all interested in the kids etc, and then hitting me with it. Her tone would change, oozing sneakiness. I told my P at 6 oclock I knew she had no intention of coming, and I was right.

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famishedass · 12/07/2009 11:18

Oh God it so reminds me a an "ex-"friend of my mine. Starting the conversation all sweetness and light and then honing in for the kill.

Still, don't dump her in the sense of telling her "I'm not ring you anymore because you never ring me" - just don't ring her anymore.

Life's too short for toxic friends.

junglist1 · 12/07/2009 11:21

I think that's the way to go, leave her wondering. Her P and my P are mates though, but she'll know the reason herself. Stupid cow trying to hoodwink me with sob stories

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ineedalifelaundry · 12/07/2009 11:23

Sounds to me like you've already made up your mind to dump her! I hate that change of tone thing - when someone phones and is all like "How are you, what you been up to?" Then just when you're starting to relax into a nice chat they say "Well, the reason I'm ringing is ..." And you're thinking, hang about, I thought you were ringing to say hello? My brother always does this

famishedass · 12/07/2009 11:23

I know, it's like they're insulting your intelligence. Like they think you're a bit thick. It's maddening, but really,. just be better than them and rise above it.

junglist1 · 12/07/2009 11:26

She only has one friend, now I can see why. Maybe she's a one friend type person, and should stick with that. That's what I want to text her but am typing it on here instead

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TheChilliMooseHasGreenFingers · 12/07/2009 11:28

Life is far too short for parasitic friends. Dump them and forget about them.

Hassled · 12/07/2009 11:39

If she only rings when she wants something then yes, dump her.

If you're only really angry about the Body Shop party though, cut her some slack. I get invited to so many of these Body Shop/Virgin Vie/Book-sale "parties" that I would be absolutely skint if I went to them all. I just don't go to any now as it feels relentless - but I do give my apologies.

junglist1 · 12/07/2009 11:43

It's the rudeness of not calling, yes. One mate had the best of reasons for not coming, one woman I hardly know had the decency to text me. And a few came for the piss up without buying, cos I told them come anyway, the company was the main thing, not the freebies. If I had money to lend her that night she would have came like a shot.

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SOLOisMeredithGrey · 12/07/2009 12:15

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

I'm sure we've all done it at some time or other, though maybe only now and again. She could've let you know she wasn't going though.

paisleyleaf · 12/07/2009 12:53

I don't like these parties
and I think the friendship ettiquette goes a bit up-in-the-air when one of you is trying to sell stuff to the other.
Saying that though, it would've been manners to let you know she wasn't coming.

ihavenosecrets · 12/07/2009 13:09
Hmm
StealthPolarBear · 12/07/2009 13:29

how strange!

junglist1 · 12/07/2009 16:04

The amount of debt I've had to write off from her by rights she should have bought the whole frickin range!!!

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