to block my long lost/recently found smackhead brother from facebook?

[pickyvic]

this is gonna be a long one so grab a stiff drink. (then send me one)

im really bricking it. ive made a huge HUGE mistake and i dont know what to do.

i come from an incredibly fucked up extremely abusive background. its amazing that im sane, with a very very boringly normal family life, in fact my life is now so far removed from my childhood that i dont even think about it..until tonight.

my long lost brother found me on facebook. he seemed desperate to get in touch. i took pity on him and i phoned him and ive made a massive mistake. im just not going down this road. the last i saw of him was 10 years ago. i took him in when he was living rough. he was a smackhead. he ripped me off and put my family in danger. ive had no contact since then. im also trying to get into the police - i am a special constable now and i really dont need this shit!
he is now married and has a baby on the way. i rang him (i havnt given out my number but i did add him on facebook so he may well have seen my other contact details) seems my hopes were to be dashed. he sounded off his head. he was spouting such shit from the word go alarm bells rang loud and clear. i only rang him cos he said it was really important, well it was - to him. im afraid not to me - ive managed all this time without him in my life and ive no idea why i did it.

he wants his baby to have a family. well tough shit. my kids havnt had any and theyve done just fine, and where was the concern for my kids all those years ago? i cannot believe this selfishness. and...second bombshell - i thought my mother and stepfather were dead. seems SF is, ha fucking ha, he was a complete and utter little hitler and he deserved it when he dropped dead, but my mother is apparently still live and kicking, and my brother has discovered a new and exciting close knit relationship with her - well woopee fucking doooo. she had emigrated but has now sadly come back to blighty.
i was the result of a fling or two - she hasnt got a fucking clue who my father is and she has been dead to me for 10 years. i thought she actually WAS dead but no - risen from the grave to fucking haunt me. apparently now she is "remembering things" that my stepfather did to me. well good. i hope it sodding haunts her, but my SF is dead and i had let all of this go - i had councelling a few years ago. i made my peace with it. i was doing ok.

if i block my "brother" he will see that ive blocked him. he had also found my son on FB and had been messaging him. ive told DS NOT to message back. im shit scared that if i block him he will come looking for me or worse still contact someone on my friends list or even try and trace me through he police....WTF have i done. im absolutely panicking. this was bad bad news and i should have followed my gut instinct and ignored...

what do i do?

Pickyvic. Sorry this has left you feeling so crap.

I have regretted replying to messages on FB in the past and I wont be making that mistake again ever.

I wanted things to be ok. I wanted the person contacting me to be telling the truth. I wanted her to really mean what she was saying. All this despite a shed load of evidence to the contrary.

Well you can guess which way it all went.

Protect yourself and your family. Dont EVER feel bad about it.

Pickyvic, I take my hat off to you. You are obviously a thoroughly remarkable person to have come through a horror childhood like that and built a happy life with your own husband and children.

I think it is always possible and natural for there to be a tiny hope that your family will have changed and you can have some kind of fairy tale ending to such an awful start to your life. It is only natural to hope for change. BUT as everyone has said do not feel at all responsible or guilty for anyone else. You have got on with your life and done a tremendous job, it is sadly not true for your brother but that is HIS business not yours.

I used to work with teenagers in care, and it was always horrifying/sad/tragic that they came from the most horrific backgrounds of abuse and sadistic cruelty, but would 9 times out of 10 still love their parents and hope against hope that these terrible destructive cruel parents would change and turn into someone loving and normal.

nothing helpful to add other than read the last bit of the blurb to totally utterly rid yourself of Facebook.... you have to email them, then they obliterate you (I did it when my exh stalked me)

thanks again everyone, and lewisfan i will do that.

i just really wish that he hadnt contacted me because i just feel so weird about it all - i can honestly say that i didnt really think about them much at all, and of course now its on my mind.

thing is even if i had said i would keep some kind of contact going sooner or later i would have to face my mother. and the first thing he said was "im not after anything" which makes me think he probably was. you dont start a conversation after 10 years with those words, its just not normal. and the way he was just wanting to launch into a deep conversation after all this time, just weird. im not completely oblivious to the fact that as aspergers runs very deep in our family he may well have it, but i just want things back as they were. i was fine.

anyway thanks again for letting me ramble. ill email facebook and get myself completely obliterated from cyberspace in any recognisable form.

sorry you had such a bad time with vile parents, no wonder you want to run a mile from it all. hope you will feel less shaken when you have completely got rid of your facebook.