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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell my Neighbour that her daughter smokes?

41 replies

Frasersmum123 · 10/07/2009 16:34

I like in a small Cul-de-sac and when I left to pick up DS from school today I saw our neighbour -but-one's daughter smoking at the top of the street with a friend.

She didnt see me, or atleast didnt seem to see me, but she was definately smoking.

I know that if it was my DS I would want to know, but should I mind my own business, or should I tell her?

OP posts:

jemart · 10/07/2009 20:06

If the Mum is a close friend then Yes, say something. Otherwise keep out of it, folks don't take kindly to interferance of this sort.

thederkinsdame · 10/07/2009 20:13

No. Step away from the net curtain and leave them be ;-) Think back for a mo about what it was like being a teenager. We all did things we wouldn't want our folks finding out and it would be a pretty shitty thing to do. Yes, smoking is dangerous, but as others have said, her mum will be able to smell the fags on her clothes and will know already.

dittany · 10/07/2009 20:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katiestar · 10/07/2009 20:28

If in Y9 she will be 13/14.
No stay out of it.She will deny it and they'll just think you are being nasty.

rostbeef · 10/07/2009 21:01

I smoked when I was 13 - my mum knew, although I went to great pains to hide it from her and then she came out with the fact that she knew and when was I going to pack it up. I was so embarrassed at all my "hiding" it. Smoking STINKS so I bet her mum is no fool and knows.
It is a bit if a rite of passage and her mum won't thank you for telling I reckon. Leave it.

mumeeee · 13/07/2009 22:22

If she is only 12 or 13 I would tell her Mum.

EccentricaGallumbits · 13/07/2009 22:25

Don't know about telling her mum but can't you let her know that you saw her. If you see her again, look hard at her, be very blatant - you shouldn't be smoking young lady, sort of thing. hopefully shame her into never doing it again.

magnolia74 · 13/07/2009 22:27

year 9 is 13/14 but would still tell mum IF friends with her!!!!

2rebecca · 14/07/2009 09:13

Another tale telling thread.

WannaBeAKitchenGardener · 14/07/2009 09:18

noooo why would it even cross your mind to do that?

children are supposed to experiment with forbidden things at that sort of age, when you were 13/14 were you a saint?

branflake81 · 14/07/2009 12:28

No! Don't tell her mum!

What's it got to do with you? I would mind your own business.

Unless it's heroin....

GetOrfMoiLand · 14/07/2009 12:41

I don't think that this is in the 'it takes a community to raise a child' category, just plain tale telling.

Agree with posters above, she may get into terrible trouble and get a slap. Would you like that on your conscience?

mumblechum · 14/07/2009 12:43

Haven't read the whole thread but wouldn't. Total busybodying behaviour to get involved.

littlepollyflinders · 14/07/2009 14:40

How do you know that she doesn't already know?
Seems to me completely unreasonable to even want to get involved.
Stay out of it.
And totally agree about the anonymous letters it's a horrible cowardly approach.

Thingiebob · 16/07/2009 16:07

No
None of your business and like other posters said - you don't know what punishment she would receive.

ipiratethief · 16/07/2009 16:12

yes you would be unreasonable, but if you know the gril, then maybe a raised eyebrow/concerned look next time you see her doing it would be appropriate.

Migh make her think, or might make her do it more discreetly tho!

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