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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

to be a little peed off with the HV?

23 replies

Claire2009 · 09/07/2009 13:53

Appt was for 1pm, she was coming to mine, I rushed home from town for it.

She calls at 1.25pm to say can we cancel and re-arrange for the 24th ?

Have to pick Dd up in 30 mins, so now I've not much to do and didn't really have to rush home from town for her

Why didn't she call before the appt to cancel? Why 25 mins later?!

I was home for 12.30 so here....

OP posts:

Devongirl · 09/07/2009 14:00

Did she give a reason? YANBU but I know they often have unexpected situations that come up so maybe it is forgivable?

Original poster

Claire2009 · 09/07/2009 14:01

No reason whatsoever..

Just, Hi Claire, You ok? Can we cancel today and re-arrange for another time?

OP posts:

YorkshireRose · 09/07/2009 14:04

HVs always do this . When was on maternity leave with DD they wouldn't even give a time, just said "will be around sometime in the morning".

They assume we have nothing better to do than sit around at home painting our nails. As do all delivery people.

melmog · 09/07/2009 14:06

Yanbu.

I've been stood up by mine too. No phone call, haven't heard from her since. I had what I considered a valid concern which was why she was coming.

Luckily the collective wisdom on here has helped more than she could have.

VinegarTits · 09/07/2009 14:06

Maybe something came up very last min, these things happen, tis a fact of life

YorkshireRose · 09/07/2009 14:09

Vinegar, if had last minute emergency would surely have said when phoned to cancel and apologise?

It seems to be more a lack of appreciation that we might have better things to do than sit around in the house waiting for them!

Original poster

Claire2009 · 09/07/2009 14:14

The first time she came she was 45 + mins late!

She was due at 9.30am, and came around 10.15am ish..

She apologised for being late but still....

OP posts:

VinegarTits · 09/07/2009 14:20

maybe it was a personal emergency and she didnt want to have to explain that to a stranger, she called and re-arranged, thats better than nothing, or, are all HV tarred with the same brush, inconsiderate and think you have nothing better to do?

I'm sure they dont sit around going 'ah that one at #2, she has nowt better to do than sit around all day, so i re-arrarange her appointment for another day'

Not that i'm sticking up for HV's of course, just being devils advocate really

For all you know her cat/dog/hamster could have been knocked over, people dont normally cancle for no good reason, or maybe they do, maybe its part of the job description, 'HV's must cancel appoints. at short notice just to piss people off'

VinegarTits · 09/07/2009 14:24

OMG 45 mins late

So the new mum she visited before you was in tears, having a really hard time BF, HV stays a bit longer with her to reassure/help her, when really she should have got up, looked at her watch and said 'Times up' and moved on to you?

steviesgirl · 09/07/2009 14:29

She could have least apologised, not least for the fact that she never rang until it was virtually time for her visit with you to be over

YANBU. Ok so she was probably called away, but there is no excuse for dis-courtesy. No apology! Out of order.

BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 14:43

She might have having a personal emergency causing difficulty to her breastfeeding her hamster?

VinegarTits · 09/07/2009 14:51

ok so we all know HV's are feckless, but what if this was the senario:

Her 12.30 appoint. is a young single mum who lives alone, no family or friends nearby to support her, suffering from PND, and not coping v.well with new baby, HV turns and mum breaks down in tears's, HV decides to spend the afternoon with her, helping out, she rings to cancel your appoint but doesnt want to make the young mum feel guilty by being very apologetic over the phone, so she does and quick 'hi claire can we re-arrange....'

BOF are you taking the pee out of my analogies?

BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 14:58

The social worker and OT for dd2 did the same to me on Tuesday. The OT agreed to the appointment, but was actually on annual leave

They left a message that morning, on the 1571, which I never check.

Still, at least I'd had a good clean in their honour. She is probably establishing a sleep routine in Marbella with her goldfish or summat...

YorkshireRose · 09/07/2009 14:58

Vinegar - I guess she could also have been held hostage by aliens. Or the dog ate her homework. But its not that likely is it?

Why would the hypothetical single mum have been so distraught if the HV had simply said to OP "sorry about that".

Constructing elaborate scenarios to excuse thoughtlessness is all very well but as the old theorum states "if all factors are equal, the simplest explanation is most likely to be true".

(Can't remember name of theorum but it was quoted in "Contact" with Jodie Foster so it must be true! )

DesperateHousewifeToo · 09/07/2009 15:05

There could have been a child protection issue that came up. When this happens, it should obviously take priority over whatever is booked in the diary.

BitOfFun · 09/07/2009 15:07

And the simplest explanation? Long lunch and a ciggie.

YorkshireRose · 09/07/2009 15:08

Too right, BOF.

cornflakegirl · 09/07/2009 15:12

YorkshireRose - I think you're referring to Occam's Razor.

YorkshireRose · 09/07/2009 15:13

That's the one, cornflake!

VinegarTits · 09/07/2009 15:18

Never heard of him

My simple analogy: maybe she just doenst like the op cos last time she turned up 45 mins late and the op was like 'what time do you call this then?'

queenofthenewyear · 09/07/2009 15:34

I hate it that they contact you 3-5 days before a routine check-up - I mean, they know how old your baby is and could plan the diary well in advance. Just got an appt for next Tues for DD's 2.5 year review - lucky I'm on maternity leave so am free, cos if I was at work it woouldn't be easy to get a day off at short notice. Guess it's a sign that they are hopelessly disorganised and don't place any vakue on their own time, let alone yours...

ScummyMummy · 09/07/2009 15:34

lol, BoF.

It might have been an emergency or overwork (many HVs have a massive caseload, irrc) or just disorganisation. Whatever the cause she should have grovelled/apologised more. I think some people in this kind of job forget that being late and rushing around like headless chickens is not the norm and needs to be explained/apologised for.

Sunshinemummy · 09/07/2009 15:50

Not a HV but when I first came home from hospital with DS they were horrified that I asked them to give me a ballpark time when they were coming to visit. They couldn't believe that someone was already getting out and about with their baby.

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