AIBU to be totally pissed off with this

[pickyvic]

DD wanted to do Lifestyle this year. she has decided to do it with THE most annoyingly bitchy little cow, (and two other not so horrible children,) but the crunch is that this horrible childs mother has decided that their charity of choice is the catholic church!!!!! now scuse me but when did the bloody catholic church need charity?
how am i meant to go cap in hand to all and sundry for sponsorship and explain with a straight face that its for one of the richest institutions in the world?

and i said from the word go that i couldnt get heavily involved as i work full time and have a voluntary job of my own, yet somehow now its "well if you can just bake for the cake stall" and "if you can come on the sponsored walk" and "if you can find something for the tombola" and tbh honest DD has been in tears about it more times than enough already because bitchyknickers is always going on at her as DD has things like her birthday that have gotten in the way of bitchyknickers plans for raising money for the catholic church! (we are out this weekend for her birthday and she has given my DD a hard time over it!)

should i have just put my foot down to begin with? ive told my dd to either stop regaling me with tales about how nasty this child is and pull out or put up and shut up! this school hols is going to very very very l-o-n-g i fear....i am soooooo very pissed off but am i being unreasonable to be so?

go on. i can take it. i think. just dont be too hard - it might push me over the edge!

YANBU to be annoyed.

Can you suggest a split with 25% going to the Catholic Church (pushy girl's share) and 75% going to another charity of the others' choosing? Or could each girl choose a charity to donate to? Then they could do everything together but no awkwardness about collecting sponsorship donating money to one of the richest organisations in the world?

I'm an atheist but I wouldn't dream of collecting for Richard Dawkins!

lol....joesmummy that was sort of my reaction too!

madamedefarge you are talking such sense but ive spoken to the other girls mums and they although they are saying they dont approve (one of them IS catholic and she is telling me that she is cringing!) seem to be going along with it. i think you have to specify what your doing with all the paperwork so im not sure if it can be altered now. but i am going to find out. and ive told DD that if this girl so much as has her in tears one more time over this then im pulling the plug - so she has been warned.

i think this girl and her mum are very used to getting their own way. she has told one of the other mums that its because they go to a catholic school (which we have to pay so much to the diocese anyway for the privalage! but i dont get that at all because the parish they go to school in is a different one to where they live....
am baffled all round. but feel in an odd position because ive shirked on the responsibility due to having no spare hours in a day! am wondering how reasonable it is to say not happy when ive not done the donkey work ( well if filling in a few forms constitutes donkey work that is)

aw, you're being mean. Poor old Catholic Church needs all the money it can get to pay for all the court cases involving paedophile priests.

ooooooo donkeyderby dont....im begrudging this enough as it is....nothing in my bloody life is ever simple and im tired of it! dont want to hurt DD but am so not happy with this "charity"! (i say charity through gritted teeth and clenched jaw)

I'm with Madamedefarge, would it be a relief to your DD if you got involved and said no? Then she could say that her horrible mother wouldn't let her but secretly be relieved?

If it's the local catholic church that gets the cash then the money will go to stuff like mums and toddlers I should think. I'm not catholic but work in a catholic school which works in partnership with the diocese... to be fair, the local church does a lot for our school and community.
Also, as a child I did sponsored walks and community gardens and such... can't always remember what they were for now but I think the notion of doing for others rather than myself has stuck somewhat and that's not such a bad thing is it?

thanks shockers, a bit of perspective maybe but i lived round the corner from church for years - so no mums/tots groups or anything advertised but will give benefit of doubt or will go mad. and i guess the sentiments are right - dd is doing something for someone else. just wish it wasnt the bloody richest organisation on the planet!

Perhaps you could insist that next year all the money goes to Stonewall or Marie Stopes?

Just to restore a bit of balance.

that means id have to be adult coordinator! will have to sleep on that one. for at least a year!

Our parish church sends huge and frequent donations to disaster and famine relief funds, and to AIDS orphanages in various parts of Africa.

If your daughter's efforts are going into projects like this via the church I think it looks a bit different than just saying you're donating to 'the Church'.

Could you ask your daughter to choose a charity that she wants to support - and then after she does the sponsored walk, or whatever other activities, go online and give your donation to that charity instead?

So you could privately, ie you and DD, keep a running total of what she has raised over the project for 'her' charity but she is still getting to join in with her friends. Depending on your family and friends (what they are likely to think of this arrangement) you could then ask them for sponsorship. Maybe even have a justgiving page set up by DD or something like that?

YABU. They will be needing some new gold goblets or sommat you meanie. Or a wide screen telly for the vicarage or whatever it's called.