... to feel disappointed with the childminder, or am I being over cautious?

[doitall]

Our childminder looks after a child related to her. Over the weekend this child was very ill with a fever, and was taken to hospital. The child was discharged and is better - but still recovering.

Called this morning to find that this child is at the childminder today. Is it unreasonable to feel a bit cross about this? It puts me in a really difficult position. Being self-employed if my DS is ill, I have to take time out unpaid (and have to work evenings / weekends to catch-up). I have no-one else to look after him. Therefore I don't want to put him in a situation where there is an ill / recovering child.

At the last minute, by complete chance, a friend stepped in to take care of DS today, and I have not sent DS to the childminder. My childminder's view was he could catch anything at any of the places that they visit on a daily basis - which I agree with, but this would be knowingly placing him somewhere where he would catch a bug.

Overly cautious? Unreasonable?

'until he was completely back to health'

That's the point though - that's a judgement not a fact and if the childminder and parent had made that judgement then I really don't see why you feel you know better than them? I wouldn't be happy if my care providers time was taken up with a sick child but if they think the child is well enough to be there then frankly it's none of my business to be chasing after him with a microscope and a KEEP OUT sign!

Lots of working parents lose money (or holiday time) because of childrens illnesses. It goes with the territory I'm afraid. If you want to minimise your child's exposure to potentially sick(ening) other children then you need a different method of childcare.

I think you're right KingCanute in that people tend to disagree with the OP as a matter of principle on AIBU threads. And I was talking about all of us - on both sides of the argument - when I mentioned medical experts. I know no more than you do (am assuming you're not a GP ) but I think if the parent feels their child is well enough to go to the CM and the CM is happy to take them, then that's fine. I have no idea if my CM's other mindees spent the entire weekend in hospital or if they were puking minutes before turning up at her house. I just have to trust in their judgement which is the situation for most of us who have children in childcare.

The pox thing is interesting - I erred on the side of caution and didn't take my DS back for about 10 days after his spots had first appeared because I knew people would flip because he looked so dreadful but of course he was actually much more contagious before they came out. And I would imagine that's much the same with this virus. If this child was in hospital on Saturday and the OP's child spent Friday with him/her, then chances are their child will already have caught it.

And incidentally I don't get paid either if I take time off to be at home with a sick child - that's not a side benefit of being employed by someone else unfortunately!

Blondeshavemorefun - you're missing the point. I think we'll have to agree to disagree on this occasion.

Surely this all depends on what the CM's exclusion/sickness policy is? If she has adhered to her own policy then I don't think you can feel disappointed in her. If she bent the rules for this child then you have cause to complain.

How ill was the child? Some parents do seem to take their children to the doctors (and, presumably, A&E) a lot for things that it wouldn't occur to me to be over worried about (Who's right?). So, hard to say. If the child seemed well enough and was not distressed at being left (and presumably not if known to cm via family) then I would send my child in same circumstances. So could not complain if same policy applied to other children being cared for.

Lol @ GP-Canute

With ChickenPox it is pretty clear when the child has stopped being contagious, with D&V there is a clear guideline in place, with other viruses (especially like this one where it is not actually known which virus is affecting the child) there is no real help and, for me, the approach has to be a cautious one if fever that high is involved. Yes some viruses are shortlived but others are not, the child seeming well is no indication as to how contagious they are (again with chicken pox many children are no different to normal all the way through it).

what point am i missing? but happy to agree to disgaree

the child was ill,but assume temp had gone down by today,hence why child was at cm

yes he may be contagious, but also may not be

thats the downfall of cm/nurserys and the big plus of having a nanny that the child can be ill, but stay at home in their home comforts PLUS the parents are able to work

limonchik - thats what i said posts ago .... what does contract say about ill children - most say no to having mindess if had S&D or spots but fine for temps/colds etc

Tinker, I kind of agree with your point about A&E happy parents, except with this one the child was admitted so the docs must have felt there was something wrong too?

Fair point if admitted but I was reading "discharged" to mean had just left the hospital

Any medical staff out there?

I'm sure you get a "discharge" note after you have been treated regardless of whether you have had obernight stay IYSWIM. So some posters could be reading and interpreting the situation in totally opposite ways.

Perhaps OP may be able to clarify if CM explained this point, perhaps some of us may view the situation differently has OP decided what to do tomorrow?

*overnight obv, I need some tunes

I am not sure if it matters if they stayed overnight or not does it? I mean, if they were aditted in the early hours and sent home at tea time they would not have been in overnight but still been admitted... IYSWIM

my cm's son has had a high temp over the weekend and she has been told today by gp not to care for any other children. i have sent my ds since he's been exposed to exactly the same things as cm's child but others haven't sent their children.

i cannot understand why nobody has mentioned swine flu on this thread - doitall have you asked cm whether this child has been tested?

I think I just assumed that, if they had suspected swine flu, it would have been mentioned (given the current over caution WRT it!)

I think if it was swine flu than op would have mentioned it?

so doitall

are you going to risk sending your child tomorrow/not work or have you got someone to look after your dc?

def worth a look in your local netmums for part time nannys wanting to earn extra on their days off incase you need childcare again

Surely the only point here is what the CMs policy says.

If she is willing to take all mindees who have a virus then fine. If however, she would refuse your child in the same situation then YANBU.

If she has just taken this girl as a family favour when she would refuse a mindee then that is unacceptable. I certainly couldn't take my neice into work and I teach her age group. She cannot do little family favours which compromise her professionalism. Ask her straight out tomorrow whether the next time your DS has a virus she will take him. Her actions must reflect her policies. Surely that's what OFSTED would expect?

Please come back and let me know what she says.

If I had kept ds at home every time he was ill I wouldn't have a job. I only kept him at home if he had something contagious. Whenever he was ill I would always ask the GP if he (ds, not GP) was contagious and whether he was well enough to go to the CM.

I would assume that the CM has asked whether the mindee was well enough to be minded and wasn't contagious. If I thought my CM wasn't professional enough to do that and to consider her other mindees then I'd be looking for another CM.

Sounds to me as if you have other issues about the CM looking after a related child that you should be addressing.